Praise Be To Neti

Posted By on November 6, 2009

First off, I have the very best story EVER in the history of stories and I can’t tell it here. Oh, man do I want to tell it here. It is just that good. Because I am a CHILD and suffer from Foot-In-Mouth Disease. If I could find a way to tell you without talking about work, I would. But I can’t. So I’ll leave you with my tweet from right after it happened.


(If I’m in a good mood tomorrow, I might tell you the story over email, so be sure to leave a comment! My mom, Metalia, Ali and Nic can vouch for how good it is.)

(How much do you hate me that I just did that and can’t tell you the whole story?) (Sorry, I like having a job too much.)

Anyway, enough of that. I’m here to talk about something completely different!

As I mentioned earlier this week, I’m sick. It’s just a cold, typical sore throat and sinus congestion. Nothing too bad, nothing to make me stay home even if I had sick time left, but just mostly annoying.

Every time I’ve had a cold in the last few years, everyone keeps talking about the Neti Pot. “Oh, Kristin, get the Neti Pot! You’ll be better in a second! Don’t worry that you’re POURING WATER INTO YOUR NOSE! You’ll be fine!”

Look, people, you can attest to this if you’ve been reading me for any length of time, I am an IDIOT. Purposefully pouring water IN MY NOSE? Not a smart idea! I don’t care how much better it makes me feel!

After clearing my throat for the 1,347th time at work on Wednesday, I decided “fuck it! I’m getting a Neti Pot! WHO CARES IF I DROWN?!” And thankfully Whoorl was like “get this thing instead. TRUST ME.” And I did. Because have you seen her hair?



Look, I’m not going to lie. It is WEIRD. I mean, your brain and all your reflexes are all “YOU ARE PUTTING WATER UP YOUR NOSE! ABORT! ABORT! WE KNOW THIS IS NOT GOOD!”


But once you get past that, and you remember to BREATHE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, YOU IDIOT, it’s not so bad. And you know what? That fucking thing works! It comes with these nice pre-measured packets, so I don’t over salt my sinuses. And ever since I started using it, I have hardly any congestion. And I have hardly any post-nasal drip, which I suffer from ALL THE TIME, even when I’m not sick.

(I’ve actually been singing “Neti pot, Neti pot, oh Neti, Neti pot. Neti pot!” to the tune of “Lollipop” all week.)

So people, run out and get yourself a sinus flusher thingy. You will NOT be disappointed.


About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


67 Responses to “Praise Be To Neti”

  1. Fairy Godmother says:

    I used to snort warm water when I had a sinus headache and it actually worked. It wasn’t a pleasant thing to do but when your head is throbbing you’ll try anything. I’ll have to look for your netti pot.

    OK I must hear the story!

  2. Lilly says:

    I want to hear the story too!
    .-= Lilly´s last blog ..Put On a Happy Face =-.

  3. Kallay says:

    Ah yes, behold the Neti Pot. My friend gave me one of those to try once. It was very much like drowning in the Caribbean. But then afterwards… bliss! Glad to see I’m not alone!

  4. Heather B. says:

    Since you have been a good listener this weekend feel free to tell me your story. And then I’ll tell you an excellent story about why someone important thinks I write Internet porn.

    Also I ended up buying one of those suckers after you and Sarah suggested it and it changed my life.
    .-= Heather B.´s last blog ..If you need diversity at your next party, call me! =-.

  5. Amanda K says:

    I want to hear this story!

  6. Um, THANKS. Because now I’m singing “Neti Pot” to the tune of “Lollipop.” 🙂
    .-= Rebecca (Bearca)´s last blog ..I can’t believe I’m posting this =-.

  7. Tiffaney says:

    Aw come on, Michael. DO SHARE. 😉

  8. Alice says:

    a) i swear by the neti pot every fall, when LIKE CLOCKWORK, i get a life-ruining sinus infection. until the day i tried a neti pot!!

    b) story pleeeease!

    c) i can’t believe no one else has commented on how dirty that last picture is. or, uh, just me?
    .-= Alice´s last blog ..girrrl i want to make you sweat =-.

  9. Alicia says:

    I stumbled upon your blog today. You made my work day that much more ejoyable! laugh out laud kind of funny! thanks!
    – a new friend from maine

  10. Carri says:

    Don’t kiss the thingy you just had in your nose!
    Now the story please, email it to me!

  11. Linda says:

    Must hear the story! You have me on pins and needles…

  12. Ree says:

    Oh mah holy hell, that last picture is p0rn0gr@phic!

    And yes, you better tell me.
    .-= Ree´s last blog ..Civic Duty =-.

  13. Yv- says:

    1. Story please!
    2. FYI re: a certain tweet you made- you’re not the only one who watches Ugly Betty (except I have to watch it online…ugh.)
    3. These pictures win you the internetz
    4. Neti – opera singers swear by them as well.
    .-= Yv-´s last blog ..The Drought =-.

  14. Sheri says:



  15. TUWABVB says:

    You are hysterical! I know that the Neti Pot would help my allergies – I’m just too lazy.

    As to your foot-in-mouth disease – it’s can’t be as bad as telling a young trick-or-treater that was dressed up as “Mother Earth” that she looked like she should be hooking up with the Green Giant – CAN IT NOW?
    .-= TUWABVB´s last blog ..That’s What I Love About Texas! =-.

  16. Wow, people sure have strong opinions about the Neti pot! I’m glad it works for you, but I am still never getting one.
    .-= nancypearlwannabe´s last blog ..The NPW Dating Compatibility Quiz =-.

  17. JRM says:

    The last picture is teh awesome! Thanks for the tip on those. I had the most horrendous allergy/cold in September and when the palo verde trees of dealth bloom in the spring I’m sure I’ll try to drown myself as much as possible.