Posted By Kristabella on November 26, 2012
Today we said goodbye to my Gram for the final time. We laid her to rest and she is now up in heaven with her husband, my Papa, and a lot of her loved ones.
For those of you who don’t follow me on Twitter, she passed away on Wednesday night. My mom called me on Wednesday morning to let me know that Gram had taken a turn for the worse. Her body shut down and she was in a coma. Not knowing how long she would last, I tried to decided if I wanted to try and see her in the morning on Thursday, or leave my last memory of her as the one from the Saturday prior, when she was awake and asking me about my love life.
I didn’t need to decide. By that evening, she was gone. My mom and aunt were in her room at the nursing home earlier in the day and had said their goodbyes. My mom said Gram looked so peaceful and calm. For so long she had been in so much pain that she was always so clenched up. I am glad she didn’t suffer and that she finally let go.
Little did we know, Gram planned for all of this. She had a letter to my mom and my aunt, marked that they couldn’t read until she died. It had instructions on how she wanted her funeral to be handled. And she made sure to point out that we should all look nice and get dressed up, even if we had to use her money to buy clothes for all the kids.
She also wrote a letter to each of the grandchildren. It was done quite some time ago, since it was back when I was in California. But it is something I will absolutely cherish for the rest of my life. All you parents out there, you should plan to do this. It helped me so much with closure and it was just nice, one last time, to hear from Gram.
My Gram was an amazing person. I got my stubborn streak from her and I learned from her to speak my mind. She survived the Depression. She raised two kids as a working mother. Some of my best memories as a child is of the weekends when Grandma and Papa came over to visit. They would bring us Dunkin Donuts and then we’d always go out to eat at Denny’s.
When my parents got divorced, it was hard, financially, on my mom. My grandparents took us in. We lived there and they always made sure, for the rest of our lives, that we always had clothes on our backs and food on the table. None of us, me, my brother or my sister, would be where we were without my Gram. I don’t think I ever really thanked her for that. I hope she knew.
I think that in some way, Gram planned this to happen before Thanksgiving. We were all stressing, worrying about how to get her home to celebrate with us, or how we could celebrate with her. And I think, as far as these things go, it happened at the right time. We had to all be together on Thanksgiving anyway, and it was exactly what we needed to remember Gram and her life and how important she was to all of us.
She had deteriorated so much in the last few years, especially in the last few months. But the way she looked today, was like Gram of 5 years ago. And she looked so peaceful and, oddly, full of life. It was a wonderful last image for all of us to have of her.
Gram, I will miss you more than I can ever say. You have meant to much to me and you have made me such a strong person. I hope you’re up in heaven with Papa, happily reunited (and not annoying him too much) and proud of the amazing daughters, grandchildren and great grandchildren you have loved as much as we loved you.
Rest in peace.
Miss Me But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want to rites in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little-but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me-but let me go
For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It’s all part of the Master’s plan
A step on the road to home
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me but let me go.