Winnie the POO

Posted By on May 16, 2010

Remember my Lensolution? When I tried to blog almost every day? What happened to that person?

Well, I will say, I have been busy. Work has been super busy. Then I was in Atlanta. And last week I was just busy and I was also having some, um, stomach issues. (THE TITLE MAKES SENSE NOW, HUH?)

I’m sure I’m telling you all old news, but did you know that taking antibiotics given you diarrhea? Can you believe I’m going to talk about poop on my blog? Rather than just writing  like crap. (Bah dum bum.)

Yeah, so I’ve been on antibiotics for the last 10 days. I just took my last dose tonight. I am very thankful for that because I would like to get my digestive system in order. When I first started having these issues last Sunday (I spent the whole day in bed and slept for 14 hours), I commented on Twitter about my loose stool. Regan then commented that I needed a probiotic because the antibiotics were taking the good and bad bacteria out of my system. So she told me to eat yogurt. But I don’t like yogurt, I said.

That Regan, always such a big help.

It was suggested that I try a probiotic pill instead of yogurt. I figured I was going to the store Monday night anyway, so I would just pick some up and all would be right with the world. But I didn’t write it on my list. And if I don’t write it on my list, I will forget. You would think the stomach pains would have reminded me, but you would be wrong.

But then it got better. I was still having more bowel movements than normal, but there wasn’t the cramping and the pain and I just figured that my stupid ass system just got used to it. It was clear sailing.

Oh, hahahahahaha self! You couldn’t have been more wrong.

Wednesday night came and I think I dropped about 47 Cosby kids off at school. Every time I peed, I pooped. It was a fun night, considering I was out at a BAR. In PUBLIC!

Anyway, Wednesday night sucked and I woke up Thursday morning with horrible cramps and pain. And I figured I would suck it up and go to work. Except, I forgot that since I went out Wednesday night right after work, taking the EL downtown, that my car was sitting in the parking garage at work. Which meant to get to work, I would have to take a bus and a train. And there would be no bathroom for an hour and 15 minutes. And I was pretty sure there was no way I was going to be able to do that without crapping my pants.

So that’s the poop, I mean the scoop. I’ve been keeping the Quilted Northern ladies quite busy with the high demand for their toilet paper. But they shouldn’t complain. It is a recession, they should be happy for the work and that we all haven’t switched to leaves and free newspapers.

It’s probably better to NOT write than to write about feces, right?

So people of the internet, what have you been up to? What other poo euphemisms do you use?

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

13 Responses to “Winnie the POO”

  1. Mahnee says:

    It may be my computer but there’s no title to the post. Oh, great…the internet issues from last week are continuing.

    Glad you tummy is better!

  2. I have never heard “dropping the Cosby kids off at school” before, but now I will never again look at Raven Simone the same way.

  3. Angella says:

    Aw, that’s poopy. (Haaaa.) We use the old standard “Dropping a load”.

    Glad you’re better, babe.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Magic Bullets =-.

  4. mouncie123 says:

    What a crappy post….. ; )

  5. ali says:

    I have NEVER had that problem with antibiotics, um, in fact, I get, um, the opposite problem…
    .-= ali´s last blog ..Things That Only Happen To Me. (Apparently, I Only Know How To Write In Lists This Week) =-.

  6. mia says:

    you have pseudomembranous colitis. google it, but DO NOT look at the pictures. i get it every. single. time. i take antibiotics. sucks, huh?

  7. jen says:

    Poop humor is my favorite humor!

    off to take my fiber gummies

  8. Kerri Anne says:

    “Bah dum bum.” BUM. HAAAA!

    OK. So I am 12 right now, clearly.
    .-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Lists > No Lists =-.

  9. Moose says:

    Cosby kids = holy blessed Jesus on a Triscuit. I will be adding that to my lexicon. Thank you.
    .-= Moose´s last blog ..I Met a Red Wall Named Jack =-.

  10. regan says:

    You are right, I am very helpful.

    If it makes you feel any better, my tummy is upset today. I suspect the barista at Starbucks spiked my latte with ex-lax.

  11. Chibi Jeebs says:

    I take acidophilus on a one-to-one ratio when on antibiotics because, uh, I’m prone to yeast infections from the damned antibiotics.

    What? YOU STARTED IT!

    Hope your behind is better. ;)
    .-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Wake up call =-.

  12. Schwerer says:

    I am in an open conference room in Baltimore on business laughing my ass off… not very professional, but very much worth the read. I love poop humor, does this make me sick?

  13. Raven says:

    1) Google Chrome hates your blog and won’t let me comment on it, I can read but no comment, so most days I am here lurking.

    2) If I was having to go that much in a bar? I would GO HOME. Ick.

    3) I take pro-biotics and eat yogurt everyday normally.
    .-= Raven´s last blog ..so i have this etsy shop =-.