Posted By Kristabella on May 16, 2010
Remember my Lensolution? When I tried to blog almost every day? What happened to that person?
Well, I will say, I have been busy. Work has been super busy. Then I was in Atlanta. And last week I was just busy and I was also having some, um, stomach issues. (THE TITLE MAKES SENSE NOW, HUH?)
I’m sure I’m telling you all old news, but did you know that taking antibiotics given you diarrhea? Can you believe I’m going to talk about poop on my blog? Rather than just writing like crap. (Bah dum bum.)
Yeah, so I’ve been on antibiotics for the last 10 days. I just took my last dose tonight. I am very thankful for that because I would like to get my digestive system in order. When I first started having these issues last Sunday (I spent the whole day in bed and slept for 14 hours), I commented on Twitter about my loose stool. Regan then commented that I needed a probiotic because the antibiotics were taking the good and bad bacteria out of my system. So she told me to eat yogurt. But I don’t like yogurt, I said.
That Regan, always such a big help.
It was suggested that I try a probiotic pill instead of yogurt. I figured I was going to the store Monday night anyway, so I would just pick some up and all would be right with the world. But I didn’t write it on my list. And if I don’t write it on my list, I will forget. You would think the stomach pains would have reminded me, but you would be wrong.
But then it got better. I was still having more bowel movements than normal, but there wasn’t the cramping and the pain and I just figured that my stupid ass system just got used to it. It was clear sailing.
Oh, hahahahahaha self! You couldn’t have been more wrong.
Wednesday night came and I think I dropped about 47 Cosby kids off at school. Every time I peed, I pooped. It was a fun night, considering I was out at a BAR. In PUBLIC!
Anyway, Wednesday night sucked and I woke up Thursday morning with horrible cramps and pain. And I figured I would suck it up and go to work. Except, I forgot that since I went out Wednesday night right after work, taking the EL downtown, that my car was sitting in the parking garage at work. Which meant to get to work, I would have to take a bus and a train. And there would be no bathroom for an hour and 15 minutes. And I was pretty sure there was no way I was going to be able to do that without crapping my pants.
So that’s the poop, I mean the scoop. I’ve been keeping the Quilted Northern ladies quite busy with the high demand for their toilet paper. But they shouldn’t complain. It is a recession, they should be happy for the work and that we all haven’t switched to leaves and free newspapers.
It’s probably better to NOT write than to write about feces, right?
So people of the internet, what have you been up to? What other poo euphemisms do you use?