Message Board Fun

Posted By on February 24, 2010

My condo association got a new management company. They apparently took over in December. I didn’t know this because I never go to the condo meetings. The one time, Heather B was in town and we walked through the meeting on our way to my car to go eat some food. One other time I walked through the meeting in the lobby with my recent purchases from Target. YES, CONDO BOARD, I CHOOSE TARGET OVER YOU!

Now, our association is the two buildings, mine and the one next to us. So I would assume that if we had a smaller gathering, we could do it at someone’s house? And then booze would be involved. Right? Isn’t that how condo association meetings should work? No booze, no KJ.

Anyway, I noticed in early January that the forms they wanted us to fill out for the property management company were from a new company. A different company than the one I had just mailed a check to. DOH! See, self, this is why you don’t procrastinate.

I finally signed up with the new management company, who are awesome and so in the 21st century because they do everything through an online portal. You can pay your bill, review meeting minutes, or ask a question on the message boards.

And, lo, these message boards have provided me many, many minutes of enjoyment.

First it was that it snowed, and WTF? Is someone going to shovel or plow? (In this person’s defense, I wholeheartedly agreed. Because I purposely found a condo that had snow removal in the assessments because hell if I was going to shovel!)

Then there was the one where the guy started YELLING because he was mistakenly charged a late fee for his monthly assessments and not only got ANGRY, but decided that apparently this meant that the property management company was a bunch of incompetent assholes and he LOST THE FAITH! To which the property manager fired back with “wow, I’m kind of saddened it took one small thing like this, that we have REVERSED, to make you lose the faith so quickly.” To which I said, out loud, “awwww, snap Bertha (not her real name)! Don’t mess with Bertha, people!”

But the most recent discussion has been the best. And not really in a good way, just more in a solutions presented way.

We seem to have some thieves running around. Remember when my package disappeared? Apparently I’m not the only one who has had this problem. In addition to people stealing mail, there have been a number of bike thefts because someone, or someones, are propping open the back door, which invites random strangers into our building.

That actually worries me a bit and I’m glad that the other residents are concerned, because that needs to be stopped. Also, I’m glad I had my brother install that very thick, strong deadbolt lock on my front door.

The problem is real and we do need to do something about it. But trading messages on a message board probably isn’t the best way to handle it. Because like someone so astutely pointed out, I’m pretty sure the culprits aren’t reading this chain on the message board. Because, as someone pointed out, IT IS PROBABLY THE RENTERS! RENTERS ARE EVIL!

Solution number one was to “throw all the bricks and other objects away that could be used to prop open the door.” Good idea! Except, I always see new bricks by the door every day. WE HAVE A BRICK HOARDER AMONGST US!

There has been talk of installing a security camera. I am all for that to one, catch the mail thief to see if he/she is wearing my pants from New York & Company, and two, to see who is disobeying rules and propping the door open and then LEAVING it open to allow all sorts of people and drunk homeless derelicts in!

But in the meantime, a bunch of dudes on the message board have come up with another plan! A better plan! One dude will take a day and just sit outside the door waiting for the bad-doer!

But then someone had a better idea! They will collect a small fee from the residents to pay someone minimum wage to sit outside the door to catch the culprit! And apprehend him/her? And turn him/her into the police station down the street? Who knows?

Except, how will anyone know how to ID this person? OH, the dilemma!

So this is my daily soap opera…waiting to see what hijinks the message board crew will come up with next! I hope the thief hasn’t caught on to their dastardly plan!

I will keep you posted, internet!

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

12 Responses to “Message Board Fun”

  1. Keith B says:

    Try glueing the brick to the ground away from the door and then watch the evil one hurt their foot when they try to kick it into place…..

  2. Raven says:

    I had something to reply here and then I read Keith’s, now it’s all I can think about and it makes me laugh.
    .-= Raven´s last blog ..wanting wednesdays =-.

  3. Lisa says:

    I like that you are blogging every day. 🙂 Keep it up.

  4. Angella says:

    I agree that Keith has a pretty rad idea. Just make sure it gets caught on the security tape so you can post the video.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..My Arch Nemesis =-.

  5. Kate says:

    I would say get the video camera, but tell the property management company that you are very concerned and think you need to have access to the streaming video. It could be better than any reality show, you never know!

  6. mouncie123 says:

    Dastardly plan … crackin me up KJ

  7. Christina says:

    Oh do waht our association decided. Get fake camera! But that did not work….
    .-= Christina´s last blog ..How did I get here? =-.

  8. Jen says:

    Personally, I think someone should volunteer to camouflage themselves and hide in the bushes with a BB gun, and when the culprit does their dastardly door-propping, the spy pops out and scares the crap out of them.

    I think my favorite idea is the one of getting rid of all door-propping possible items. Because, what?
    .-= Jen´s last blog .. =-.

  9. Moose says:

    I love that your property manager used the phrase “I’m saddened by…” in an email. Also: We should plot booby traps for the thieves. Maybe an Indiana Jones-esque boulder.
    .-= Moose´s last blog ..A Psychic Would Have Figured This Out Faster =-.

  10. Darcey says:

    Way more entertaining than anything my HOA has come up with. But then again, they did set up a meet’n’greet with our other neighbors at the bar around the corner… complete with $1 Miller High Life and pizza.
    .-= Darcey´s last blog ..Happy Valentine’s Day =-.

  11. Kerri Anne says:

    We have a board for my building too and I’m always so! curious to know what goes on behind those closed doors. It would appear I’m missing out on some hilarity.

  12. Marianne says:

    Oh man… as an evil renter (LMAO) … no really, I’ve got nothing. It does sound frustrating though.
    .-= Marianne´s last blog ..New Passion =-.