Kerfuffle

Posted By on February 17, 2010

So, Lensolution Day 1 and I already just want to call it all off and crawl into bed and watch TV and play Words With Friends on my phone.

BUT! This is why I did it! This is why I chose this particular Lensolution! Because I knew it wasn’t going to be easy! I knew I would always want to choose beddy bye or Words With Friends over blogging! And that is the problem! One that needs fixing!

And thank God for small miracles and shared living!

My neighbors have a dog. It’s a big dog, or it has a big bark. He’s pretty quiet. He’ll bark if you walk past his door, but other than that, nothing too bad. I’ve never had to complain. But sometimes there is another dog in there. It is a small, yappy dog. One that barks A LOT. I imagine it barks each time it blinks. That’s how it seems. And then when little Yappy starts barking, the big dog starts barking. And then my cats lose their shit. And I pray they don’t lose their shit and/or their urine all over my condo.

I think they dogsit Yappy. He’s not here all the time. This is the second time since I’ve lived here that I remember Yappy. And it is the sameYappy. Of this I’m sure. I am thankful Yappy doesn’t live here full time.

Anyway, so tonight I’m sitting on my couch, watching the Olympics, updating Twitter, playing three-letter words in my WWF games (lazy trifectaright there) and I hear a scuffle in the hallway. I hear Yappy barking, big dog barking, man yelling and then swearing and banging. I OF COURSE run to the door to listen and peep out the peep hole to see what is going on. Unfortunately I live in a long hallway and my hole peeps to an empty wall. And the action was happening WAY at the end of the hall, out of the reach of my peeping hole. So I just kind of keep listening. Whatever is going on, it’s still raging and the yelling and barking has gotten louder.

So what do I do? I do what any sane person would do. I open the door and peer out to see what the fuck is going on. I figure if anyone asks, I shall deny my nosiness and just want to make sure no one was harmed. I look out and I see a bunch of people in the hallway, yelling. I see dogs, plural, barking. I see people I think are my neighbors.

It doesn’t look like anything more than an argument. The people across the hall seem to be really upset. But I’m not sure why. I’m sure the dude is just TIRED OF THE YAPPING! And I almost thank him for saying something on the behalf of the rest of us because SHUT UP YAPPY! But decide against it and go back inside.

Things start to calm down and I figure whatever kerfuffle that happened is now over. But then, OF COURSE, it starts back up again with the barking and the yelling! So I OF COURSE open the door and peer out to see just what the hell is going on. I don’t even care that everyone knows I am nosey and can see me peering out. I don’t even care that this is what I’m wearing from the waist down:

FISH PANTS! LEOPARD SLIPPERS! And I wasn’t even wearing a bra! PEOPLE SAW ME IN THIS! MANY PEOPLE! DOGS TOO!

Finally it dawned on me that I am indeed not invisible and I should go back to my position of snooping through the peep hole and with a glass up to the door.

And then it all broke up. And I went back to the Olympics and the meatballs I’m making for the pot luck tomorrow.

After about 20 minutes or so, I heard Yappy. And I heard talking. And I heard the neighbor girl say she wanted to apologize to the dude across the hall. So I paused the TV and snuck over to the door to watch and listen to find out the scoop!

It wasn’t that exciting. Apparently Yappy tried to bite the dude, but didn’t. Because Yappy wasn’t on a leash. And madness ensued and the dude got very frightened. And the only way for them all to communicate about all of this over the yapping dogs was to YELL! And they were sorry and girl would keep Yappy on a leash.

BUT THEN! THEN! I saw girl walking towards my door and oh shit! She was knocking on it. I had a Friends moment and thought maybe she could see me peering out. But I didn’t say “I can see you!” But, I should probably answer the door. But I should wait a few seconds and shuffle my feet so she didn’t think I was standing right by the door, yes? YES!

I answered it. She was a lovely girl. She felt very bad for causing the kerfuffle. I assured her I was only looking out the door to make sure that no one was hurt or needed help or was being attacked. It had nothing to do with curiosity. I’m pretty sure she didn’t buy it. And then she walked away to apologize to the rest of the neighbors.

Thankfully she didn’t ask to borrow a plunger.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

14 Responses to “Kerfuffle”

  1. Kerri Anne says:

    Wouldn’t it have been awesome if Al Pacino (or Kevin Coster) had been in your hallway? They totally COULD have been.

    Day one of your Lensolution? Totally owned. WITH FISH PANTS.*

    *I need some fish pants.
    .-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Noteworthy =-.

  2. Denora says:

    I HAVE THOSE PANTS! Also, I regularly go get the paper in the mornings wearing those (or another of my many oddly printed pj pants) in front of all of my neighbors. I figure if they can’t appreciate the awesomeness of the pants, they can just stop looking at me.

    We have a Yappy over here too. Sadly she lives here permanently and never goes away. Thankfully, most of the other neighborhood dogs ignore her. Mostly. Except that time at 4am. Little bastard.
    .-= Denora´s last blog ..Mia Monday! =-.

  3. Deidre says:

    Those look like very comfy jim jams.
    .-= Deidre´s last blog ..An e-mail exchange with Inspector Climate… =-.

  4. Raven says:

    When I read “Lensolution” on twitter, I thought you were talking about contact solution and I was wondering what the hell kind of complicated contact solution you were having to deal with to abandon it so quickly.

    Apparently, I need to get out more.

    My jammie pants are stained by bleach, have a ginormous hole in the shin area (but they are SO COMFY) or have skulls/skeletons on them.
    .-= Raven´s last blog ..wanting wednesdays =-.

  5. Jen says:

    For the record, I adore the word “kerfuffle.”
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Finding My Voice =-.

  6. A future Kristabella blog post might be about where one might find fish pants… *hint hint*
    .-= Jen on the Edge´s last blog ..Clearly, I’m not Catholic =-.

  7. Angella says:

    I totally need a pair of leopard slippers.

    And seriously with the three-letter words…I don’t even know what most of them MEAN.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Let It All Out =-.

  8. Darcey says:

    My partner-in-crime to your fish pants are my naked-devil pants (from Old Navy). I love them. I stole them from my old roommate in college.

    Also? This is why I am both relieved and jealous that you have the condo living with neighbors. The most I see my neighbors is when I’m pulling into/out of my garage, or silently cursing them for going 1mph over the millions of speedbumps in the neighborhood. (One drives an off-road Jeep and approaches the speedbumps so gingerly you’d think she was driving a low-rider Bentley or something!)
    .-= Darcey´s last blog ..Happy Valentine’s Day =-.

  9. I find it funny that it was the small yappy dog that caused the kerfuffle. Yappy dogs= nothing but trouble
    .-= Sensibly Sassy´s last blog ..Grumble, Grumble, Grumble =-.

  10. Cass says:

    Yappy dogs really do start everything. I at one point had a neighbor w/one and he left a post-it on his door when gone to call & let him know if the dog was too loud. The nice thing about it though was I got a Starbucks card out of the deal.

    Well, and dinner etc. later & tons of older emotional baggage but at least there was free coffee.
    .-= Cass´s last blog ..Valentine’s Day, lingerie & what makes you feel sexy =-.

  11. Jennie says:

    LOL!

    That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask – can I borrow your plunger???

  12. Alice says:

    GOD i hate yappy dogs. HATE HATE HATE. i used to live with a yappy dog and i wanted to punch it in its yappy dog face EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY (which, coincidentally, is how often it barked).

    i’m impressed that your neighbor girl went around apologizing to each person. that’s so nice! my neighbors would.. uh.. not.
    .-= Alice´s last blog ..flavor trip! =-.

  13. tmc says:

    I’m waiting in the wings, your Presidentness.
    .-= tmc´s last blog ..a pre-facelift, pre-giveaway giveaway announcement =-.

  14. I’m totally a peek-out-the-door person myself but that’s because the peephole in my door is meant for someone FAR taller than me.

    At least the neighbor apologized though! That was nice of her.
    .-= Erin (Snarke)´s last blog ..How Quickly A Day Can Turn =-.