Pain In The Neck. Literally.

Posted By on October 14, 2009

Do you guys watch The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo? If so, you’ll realize that Rachel does not know the correct meaning of literally. She says it for everything. She “literally dies” at least seven times each episode. Which, if it were literal Rachel, you would be dead. Or a cat with 27 lives.

God I love that show.

Anyway, that wasn’t the point of my post. My point is that I have a sore neck. Literally. Like I’m not just saying that the cats are a pain in my neck, or that annoying neighbors are a pain in the neck or doing dishes are a pain in the neck. I’m saying that I turned to answer the phone at work today and literally died. No, wait. I literally had a sharp, shooting pain in my neck appear.

And people wonder why I’m not a phone person.

This made for a rather shitty day. I had to be perfectly still most of the day, lest I move and be reminded of said pain in the neck.

Here are a few things I realized:

  • I totally get where the expression “pain in the neck” comes from now. Because ugh, it hurts to move. And some things, like winter and humidity, are almost literally like a pain in the neck. Bananas.
  • I’m not good at sitting very still for a long period of time.
  • Apparently I have a tendency to fidget A LOT when I’m at work. Be it from staring at a computer screen for too long, or sitting in the same position, whatever it is, I want to move around. This is not so easy when you have a sore neck and moving = HURTY PAIN.
  • I also apparently like to shake my head A LOT to get my bangs out of my face. And since I’m about a week overdue for a hair cut, MY BANGS ARE IN MY EYES A LOT! This means a lot of shaking of my head to get them out of my face. Which I do subconsciously, CLEARLY, since I kept doing it all day and then grasping my neck in pain.
  • When it hurts to turn your head, that will be the day a lot of people come up to talk to you at your desk, since talking to them requires you to turn around.
  • Backing up in your car to get out of the work parking garage won’t be such an easy task with a sore neck. You may almost hit someone because it hurts too much to turn your head to see if there is anyone behind you.
  • Cats should be trained to give neck massages. I mean I feed them and clean up their poop, the least they could do is do that push-push/kneading thing on my sore muscles.

And now, I’m off to bed with a bag of frozen peas on my neck. And hopefully my neck will be better by tomorrow because I’m going to this and I want to be able to laugh on a moment’s notice and shake my head while doing so, if I so desire. But at least I’m comforted in knowing that the event tomorrow has wine which will dull any lingering neck pain. And probably cause me to re-injure it or result in some other hurty pain. Because that’s just how I roll.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


24 Responses to “Pain In The Neck. Literally.”

  1. JRM says:

    I love the Rachel Zoe show. Even though she is a bit wacky I still find her entertaining and interesting.

    I’ve had a pain in my neck forever as well. The last time I went to the chirpractor he said something like “you always have this pain, just due to stress you are now feeling it” I try to streth it, warm compresses, etc. but it still comes back. wahhhh me!

  2. Noelle says:

    I wonder if neck pain is transferable through the internet, because I’ve had the same problem for the past few days. The only thing that helped was heat. (I have a little bean bag I made out of a sock and rice that I put in the microwave for 30 seconds and relief!) Hope you feel better soon!
    .-= Noelle´s last blog ..Well, to be honest I’ve never been so scared. But at least I have a husband. =-.

  3. Raven says:

    Roger does it too! I expect him to be the “smart one” in their situation and yet, he literally isn’t.
    .-= Raven´s last blog ..feeding through a crisis =-.

  4. Three suggestions:

    1. Advil or Tylenol
    2. Heat, not ice (Relaxes the hurty muscles)
    3. Some of that lotion that athletes and middle aged men use on their sore muscles (Ben Gay?)
    .-= Jen on the Edge´s last blog ..Blog Action Day 2009: Climate Change =-.

  5. lceel says:

    Sending soothing massage vibes your way.
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..100 Word Challenge – Rain =-.

  6. Just Shireen says:

    Ick, neck pain is the worst. Hope it’s better soon!
    .-= Just Shireen´s last blog ..What Are You? HE’S A VAMPIRE! DEAR GOD HE’S A VAMPIRE! =-.

  7. Missy says:

    Duuuuuuuuude. I feel ya. Owie hurty crappy neck pain sucks ass. Even worse? Hurty owie sucky neck AND shoulder pain! So there’s that. Hope the frozen peas do the trick, if not, I’d opt for scotch as a pain reliever. Literally.
    .-= Missy´s last blog ..The NEW Commandments =-.

  8. Angella says:

    DUDE. Hope it’s better today. Have fun tonight! Wish I could join you.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..The Annual School Photo =-.

  9. bikerchick says:

    I (literally) second the advice to use heat on your owie. You can buy this awesome thing at Walgreen’s called, “Bed Buddy” for (literally) $12 that you shove in the micro for 2 mins and be happy for (literally) the rest of your life. Go! Shop!

    I also love watching her wackadoodle show, but mostly because the drama between Tay and Brad. She and Roger are just a little too disconnected from reality to qualify as reality TV stars in my book. But Brad has to be the most entertaining thing on teevee and I bet he’s a really nice guy, too. If you don’t read Project Rungay, all Brad fans should at least need this entry Cause literally? I die!

  10. Candy says:

    That Rachel Zoe is crazy. I do watch it, but against my will.

    Sorry your neck hurts. It’s probably because you’ve been such a pain in MY neck lately.
    .-= Candy´s last blog ..Yeah, nothing. =-.

  11. paperdiva says:

    I literally feel your pain. I funked mine up the other day and I still can’t fully turn to the right. Getting older sucks.
    .-= paperdiva´s last blog ..bad. =-.

  12. Jennie says:

    Aw, feel better soon, amiga!

    Is there any Zen that cannot be achieved through frozen peas???

  13. TUWABVB says:

    I get the WORST neck pains when I’m stressed out, etc. I can’t even turn my head. I find that wine helps to relax my muscles (or just makes me care less, who knows). I hope you feel better and had a great time – I just finished “Pretty in Plaid” and was in love, once again, with the author.
    .-= TUWABVB´s last blog ..He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not =-.

  14. witchypoo says:

    Extended computer usage with improper posture can cause damage. Physio helped me get off the wine.
    .-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Old Hurts =-.

  15. Scarlet says:

    My sister LITERALLY had the same observation the other day and like 43890 people commented on her FB thing. Hilarious. I died. Again.
    .-= Scarlet´s last blog ..Fashion Victim =-.

  16. ali says:

    I use literally totally inappropriately all.the.damn.time.
    I can’t help it. It’s my inner valley girl. or something.
    .-= ali´s last blog ..I guess preschoolers don’t notice laugh lines or crow’s feet. =-.

  17. I would recommend a heating pad instead of ice- that always helps with my back! Oh, and a hot masseuse. That also helps, but in a different way.
    .-= nancypearlwannabe´s last blog ..This Really Only Warrants Bullets, But Here You Go =-.

  18. Herman says:

    The neck pains are the worst. Then they affect your head, your back, your muscles, just everything. It’s up there with the most annoying pains I have to deal with – although carpal tunnel might get the nod because I do write/type for a living. That’s an ouch. Hope you feel better.
    .-= Herman´s last blog ..Snake Proof Boots: The FAQ =-.

  19. Jackie says:

    I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but you’ve gotta stretch your neck to help ease the pain. Slowly turn your neck as far as you can toward the pain (use your hand to help if needed) and hold for 10 seconds. Now the other direction. Repeat.

    Follow up with heat, ice & wine.

  20. Deb says:

    Neck pains are the worst. Literally. 😉 Hope you’re feeling better!

  21. Rhi says:

    Her husband also says ‘literally’ too much. I am taking that word away from them. Have you tried the Thermacare wraps on your neck? I find they work wonders.

  22. Darcey says:

    Ok, we call the moving the entire body thing the “Lurch Syndrome” – as in Lurch from the Addams Family who never turned his neck and scowled all the time.

    Also, ice is for the first 48 hours, THEN heat. Trust me on this. You need the ice to bring down the inflammation and then you can use the heat to relax the muscles. If you do heat first, you’re sending even more blood flow to the area which just increases the sensitivity.
    I am the Queen of Neck Pain. I KNOW. 😉
    .-= Darcey´s last blog ..Dad v Frigidaire =-.

  23. Kristan says:

    Lol!! You’re funny. 🙂 And yeah, the misuse of literally literally drives me nuts. I am in a psych ward RIGHT NOW. Figuratively.
    .-= Kristan´s last blog ..What you can do for the blogger you love =-.

  24. mouncie123 says:

    Hey KJ how’s the neck? Let me tell you two months ago I woke up with a stiff neck it progressively got worse and two weeks ago I had surgery for a herniated disk. When the arm and hand get all tingly and you think ahhh just a pinched nerve it will work it’s way out….I am here to tell you it doesn’t. Two shots of cortisone didn’t help it either. Be cautious, really.