Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on October 4, 2009

I know it has been almost a full week since I got back from my vacation, and that’s probably like three months in blog time, but I’m going to tell you about it anyway. Because I started writing this last week and well, I’m lazy and don’t want to be wasteful.

In case you didn’t know, I made a trip down to the Dirty South last weekend to spend some time in Atlanta. The original reason for my trip was to go see ASU take on Georgia and experience SEC college football, but then it became more about getting away, relaxing and hanging out with friends.

It was a great trip. I had only been to Atlanta once before, for about 6 hours, on a sales trip back when I worked with the dirt company. So I had never really seen much of the city or experienced all the humidity things it had to offer.

I got in Thursday afternoon and the lovely Ali picked me up at the airport. She said it was repayment for driving up to Milwaukee on two separate occasions to hang out with her and her family. (Psssst…don’t tell Ali, but I really like hanging out with her and her family. I love her kids! And I love that they all like me (or seem to) and are comfortable around me and ask me to read to them and color with them and tickle them.) (See: single spinster woman who has no kids and lives through the lives of her friends’ kids.)

After she picked me up, we made the carpool rounds and I got to see why every mom on Twitter is constantly bitching and moaning about carpool. It’s like the military! Numbers and lines and walkie talkies! Shit, when I was in school, they stopped caring the minute you walked one step out the door.

After carpool we hit up Chick-fil-A. When Darcey asked what I wanted to do in Atlanta, I said I wanted to go to the football game, go to Flip Burger and eat at Chick-fil-A. That was it. We had Chick-fil-A in Arizona, and I haven’t had it since and, man oh man, have I missed their waffle fries. Also, McDonald’s, nice effort with your southern chicken sammich, BUT NOT EVEN CLOSE! You can’t just slap some pickles on something and call it Chick-fil-A.

The rest of the afternoon I hung out with the Martells at Ali’s dad’s “house”. I say that because you could hear an echo in that place. It’s marvelous and huge and gorgeous. Isabella entertained me with her drawings and stories and Emily performed, like she is wont to do. (I still haven’t learned the Hoedown Throwdown! NEXT TIME!) Darcey joined us after she got out of work and we sat around chatting all night and ordered pizza for dinner. It was an excellent start to the vacation!

Friday, Darcey took off from work and she and I went to the Coke Museum. “They have a museum just for Coke?” you ask. “Why, yes. Yes they do,” I say. I made the decision to hit the World of Coke over the Aquarium because 1) I’ve been to an aquarium before, I’ve never been to a pop museum and 2) Emily told me that you get to try like 60 kinds of Coke products from around the world. And then I yelled “SOLD!”

It’s pretty cool. If you’re in Atlanta, go to the World of Coke. They have movies and exhibits and all sorts of neat things. And they have a tasting room where you can try Coke products from all over the world, and they are sorted by Continent. I tried every single one. Let me tell you, don’t drink pop in Latin America. That shit was nasty.

I think I enjoyed myself, no?

Friday night Darcey wasn’t feeling well, so Ali and headed out to some super exclusive shindig as part of the Castleberry Hill Loft Tour. Ali’s brother-in-law was in town and has some sort of connection through his work. I’m not sure what it was all about. I heard “FREE BOOZE AND FOOD” and I said “WHERE DO I SIGN UP?”

We had a great time. There was GREAT food. And wine. And vodka chocolate milk. Well, I think it was supposed to be an espresso martini, but it tasted like vodka, with a hint of chocolate milk. The art gallery it was at was really nice. But it was also like 1,700 degrees in there. I know I’m not from the South, but it was hot that day and in September when temps are close to 90, and you’re going to have hundreds of people in your gallery, maybe you should turn on the A/C? Just maybe?

But a sweaty mess and all, Ali and I had a good time. And then I noticed that someone who looked like Mychael Knight from Project Runway fame was standing in front of me. But I couldn’t be sure until I heard him talk. So I didn’t really know. And the whole time I kept forgetting I was in Atlanta and that Mychael Knight is FROM Atlanta and OF COURSE he could be at this swanky event. Finally after going back and forth, some chick that was eavesdropping was all “it’s him.” And then I gave her a sweaty hug. Because I love eavesdroppers. And meeting Bravo reality show contestants.

Thankfully Ali and her BIL Joe forced me to get my photo with him. I won’t use it for my Christmas card because judging by the response we got on Twitter, no one cares about Mychael Knight and my grandma will just ask me why I’m sending out my Christmas card with me and a black man photographed on it. (She said this to me after Dusty Baker and Jerry Rice.)

Also, Mychael Knight had a PSH, a Personal Sweat Handler. Before our photo, some woman swept in and mopped his brow with a napkin. I pushed up my bangs and looked in her direction, waiting for my turn, until I realized that it wasn’t her job to mop EVERYONE’S brow.

Clearly.

And since I’ve already written over 1,o00 words about my first two days there, I’ll save the stories from the rest of my trip for tomorrow.

(That’s a lie. I’m really lazy, tired and out of post ideas so I’m all for stretching things out as long as possible.) (But sadly there were no famous people in the rest of my trip. Just rain, football and the best milkshake I’ve ever had.)

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