N to the Izzo, L to the Izza

Posted By on June 25, 2009

For those of you who don’t speak Jay-Z, that spells NOLA.

(I love Jay-Z. He is hands down one of the best rappers ever and knows how to make a hit record. And a fucking smart businessman. So naturally I love all his songs, even H to the Izzo. But is it true he is rapping about being a Jehovah’s Witness? HOVA. Like JeHOVAh. Not that I have good taste in music, I mean I’ll listen to anything with a good beat, but something about that just seems weird. But not celebrating holidays and birthdays also seems weird to me, so who am I to judge?)

This is going to be a short post because I’m tired. This week has been exhausting. I blame it all on the heat. Because the heat came out of nowhere, we didn’t have time to get acclimated. (I was wearing long sleeves last week!) (Maybe not, but it wasn’t in the 90s, there was no talk of heat indexes and putting coolant in my car was but a distant thought.)

Anyway, being out in this heat, even just driving to and from work, or walking to the bus stop, takes it all out of you. On top of that, we have a big event next week for work, so I’ve been getting prepared with all of that this week. So I’m tired. And I just wasted an hour-plus of my life watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion only to be told NOTHING! So then of course, I read their blogs over on Bravo’s website because you CANNOT END IT LIKE THAT! CURSE YOU BRAVO! YOU ARE JUST A PROSTITUTION WHORE!

So, back New Orleans. I leave on Saturday for Nawlins. I have never been to New Orleans. Ever. One of the drinking/partying meccas of the world and I’ve never been there. SHOCKING! I KNOW!

I’ve been getting recommendations from her. She lived there and grew up there and knows everything about NOLA. So I have a huge list of places to drink and eat at. I would also like to take a streetcar ride, preferably past the Real World house because I like to do that when I go to cities where The Real World was filmed. (I have a photo of the Seattle house. The Chicago one is apparently a gym now or something.) (Also, I’m almost 32, WHY DO I STILL CARE? And why do I remember the people that were on Real World New Orleans? Including that cute blonde who married Bailey from Party of Five. Why can’t I remember things that are important, but yet I remember that?) (There was also the gay dude, dating the guy in the military, and Julie the Mormon and Melissa, crazy, crazy Melissa. And was that the season with David? And his weird songs?)

ANYWAY, I need suggestions! I don’t have a lot of free time, since I am going for work, but I’m going to try and fit in as much eating and drinking as I can in the little time I do have. I’ll have a hurricane at Pat O’Brien’s because I think you have to at least once, but not outside because I’ll forget to get a refund on my glass and some hooligan New Orleans native will steal it from me (I’m from the Midwest, we don’t do those kinds of things!) (But also, we’re too drunk in Chicago to care about a glass refund.)

So leave any good suggestions in the comments! Thankfully Mother Nature is preparing me for the weather down there, since we’ve had the SAME weather in Chicago as New Orleans this week. So hopefully I’ll have some energy to meet locals and take photos and get passed-out-in-the-gutter drunk.

A girl has to have goals.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


26 Responses to “N to the Izzo, L to the Izza”

  1. Raven says:

    Lafitte’s Blacksmith Bar! It’s one of my fave places to go in NOLA. Usually our hotel is right around the corner (and once directly across the street) from there so I always go by at least once. Of course beignets at Cafe du Monde. The Clover Grill is a greasy diner run by a bunch of queens (at least it was the last time I was there) and I love it.

    Other than that, much of NOLA is a blur for me since I don’t even remember a whole bar we were in, oopsy!

  2. Oh my god, that was my favorite Real World season too! And Kelly (who ended up marrying Bailey from Party of Five, like you said) was having a relationship with some handsome doctor and was basically never on the show. I loved Mormon Julie too.

    When I was in Denver, I went to the Real World house and it was the biggest letdown of my life. It’s a bar now and there’s basically nothing there that even RESEMBLES it. The barman let us peek into the men’s toilets, because apparently they’re the same, but I don’t know, it wasn’t ringing any bells to me.

  3. New Orleans was both one of the most fabulous vacations I ever had, and one of the worst. I spent the entire time alternately hilariously drunk and terribly hungover, and I did spend one entire night in the bathroom regretting drinking 6 Hurricanes.

    But seriously: the Haunted History tour. VAMPIRE BARS!

  4. Angella says:

    I know it’s not Mardi Gras (Or is it?) but I’m hoping to see some photos of you with party beads 😉
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..She’s A Big Girl Now =-.

  5. Bailey says:

    The Chicago house is at North and Damen and is now a Cheetah gym.

    I saw David from the NOLA cast on a bus once. Didn’t he get busted for allegedly soliciting a prostitute on North Ave.? He was also on “Chapelle’s Show” once. Why do I know so much about David?

  6. Have a great trip!

    And, thanks for making me download some Jay-Z. You owe me approximately $7 now.
    .-= living with lindsay´s last blog ..Light and Airy Rooms for a Hot Summer Day =-.

  7. Janice says:

    I would recomment a drink called a grenade cause I remember enjoying it but that was after a hurricane or two and I did end up at the end of a girls gone wild video– NOT voluntarily, found out two years later– so maybe the grenades are not a good idea 🙂 (it was just usual bourbon street activity, nothing like those videos now)
    Have a great time!

  8. lceel says:

    Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

    (Since you don’t know me very well, yet, you have no idea just how liberating that directive really is.)
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..Haiku Friday – Thirty Two With You =-.

  9. Amity says:

    Drink Abita Amber drafts and eat an oyster plate at Cafe Maspero on Decatur. And anything at Johnny PoBoys. And some debris at Mother’s. And sit at the chef’s counter for a wonderful meal at NOLA (one of Emeril’s places–the best IMHO). And if you see “The Rooster” or Dwayne Dopsie and the Zydeco Hellraisers performing on Bourbon Street, get a drink and sit/dance a while. Also, Rock and Bowl. *JEALOUS*

  10. I haven’t been to NOLA since I was of legal age, pre-pre-Katrina, BUT. I am going for my bachelorette party, so how about you give me the recommendations when you’re back? =)
    .-= Camels & Chocolate´s last blog ..Photo Friday: Magic Kingdom, Florida =-.

  11. Lori says:

    i am so jealous, i love new orleans. we were there for halloween – good, but crazy, times! we did a vampire walking tour (fun!) and ate and drank and ate and drank. po’boys are a must, as are hurricanes, beignets and cafe au lait at cafe du monde. i also remember going to nola (fried chicken – yum!) and brennan’s (gumbo – yum!). don’t forget to bring back pralines. have fun!

  12. Ree says:

    Never been there, so I can’t give you any advice except…don’t lift your shirt up. 😉

    Well, unless you want beads or something.
    .-= Ree´s last blog ..Haiku Friday – Michael Jackson =-.

  13. Curlatini, Esq says:

    I went to college in New Orleans.

    #1. It is called a Hand Grenade, not a grenade.
    #2. Do not drink Hurricanes. They are disgusting and you will wonder why you wasted so much money on something so disgusting.
    #3. If you want to eat at great restaurants here are a few: Jacques-Imo’s (in the Garden District by Tulane), NOLA or Irene’s (both in the Quarter), or Commander’s Palace (off of St. Charles, and really expensive)
    #4. If you are there on Sunday morning, go to the Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues. It’s awesome.

  14. -R- says:

    You forgot Jaime the Extreme Sports Guy who Julie and Melissa fought over and Matt the Virgin. That was one of my favorite seasons.

    I think Chicago was the last season I watched. I just couldn’t handle it ever that.
    .-= -R-´s last blog ..It May Be Rude To Do This, But I Only Realized That After Typing All This Out, And I Don’t Want To Waste All That Time By Deleting It Now =-.

  15. The Tutugirl says:

    Beware the mango “daiquiris.” Let’s just say I had to be carried back to my hotel room after one of those led to oh, about ten more drinks. Don’t be surprised if you see women walking around topless on Bourbon Street. Go to Cafe du Monde, but watch out for people with sticky fingers. Try to get dinner outside of the French Quarter- most of the places there are tourist traps. Have fun! It’s a blast.
    .-= The Tutugirl´s last blog ..TLC, we are DONE =-.

  16. ali says:

    i am so jealous. i have never been!

  17. ali says:

    also, can we talk about this offensive blogher ad on your page?!?!? oh my god.

  18. I went once with my grandparents when I was in 6th grade. Obviously too young to enjoy the drinking, but I did have some awesome gumbo and rice pudding. Have an awesome time. I hope you get to take in some great music!
    .-= Anonymous New York´s last blog ..Beef. It’s what’s for dinner. =-.

  19. J says:

    New Orleans is my favorite city in the world. My suggestions:

    Camellia Grill or Joey K’s for breakfast.
    Mother’s (on Poydras, I think) for dinner. The line is always very long, but the po-boys are the best.
    And of course, beignets from Cafe du Monde are a must.
    .-= J´s last blog ..Time to Play Catch Up =-.

  20. JRM says:

    Take the hurrican glasses with you as a souvenir. They empty them into a “to go” cup and put them in a box when you leave. Pat O’s is mostly an outdoor bar with an indoor piano room. Otherwise drink and eat. Ride the streetcar through the garden district, browse through the antique shops on Royal.

  21. Kimberly says:

    I also love me some Jay-Z…and this title – which makes me love you even more.

    My all time favorite is “Threat” of the Black Album. So awesome.
    .-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Thanks for the Music =-.

  22. Rhi says:

    Melissa from Real World New Orleans has a blog that I love. http://www.princessmelissa.com/weblog/
    .-= Rhi´s last blog ..Hey Jealousy =-.

  23. Sarah says:

    Oh, my, I had the hugest crush on Jamie from Real World NOLA. I’m not the least bit embarrassed to admit that.

    But that’s not what I’m interested in commenting on. I, too, was left wanting more from the Real Housewives reunion. What did Danielle do that was so disgraceful?? I think I have an idea from online forums, but still, I would have liked to know more. (And, no, I’m not embarrassed to admit that I read online forums about the Real Housewives. I have no shame, really.)

    But, more importantly, what drug was Danielle on at that reunion? Seriously, woman was like a shell of herself, so subdued and freaky.

  24. auntie says:

    just don’t end up in the next Girls Gone Wild video. unless of course that’s one of your goals. in which case, get ready to flash those ta-ta’s!!
    .-= auntie´s last blog ..Where’s the Pepto??! =-.

  25. New Orleans has always been on my list of places to go but I still haven’t been! Just thinking about all of the delicious food they have is making my mouth water.
    .-= La Petite Chic´s last blog ..Jimmy Buffett Summerzcool Tour – Camden, NJ Edition =-.

  26. jcristg says:

    Little late on my google-reading but twitter says you had a blast.

    Wanted to thank you for putting H to the Izzo in my head. I will now be singing it for the rest of the damn day (and I have mad love for Jay-Z too).