Summer of 69 09
Posted By Kristabella on June 10, 2009
Back a few months ago, I wrote a post about weather. Because when you’re one cat shy of crazy, spinster cat lady, you can talk of nothing besides cats and weather. Also, I’m preparing myself for when I’m old when all I’ll want to do is talk about the weather. Probably because weather unites us all! Especially in Chicago! We have commonalities to complain about, young and old! Huzzah!
Anyway, in that post, I basically pissed off Spring. Because she was a big fucking tease and never came around. And then a funny thing happened, some time around the end of May, Spring came. But see, usually in Chicago, the end of May is when we see our first 90-degree days. And from Memorial Day on, it’s summer. Hot, sweaty, change-your-shirt-three-times-a-day, stock-up-on-deodorant summer. People are turning on the A/C, breaking out the bathing suits and complaining and wishing for the days when it was cool and you didn’t sweat through your clothes blow drying your hair first thing in the morning.
But that hasn’t happened. Not even close. Right now, on the evening of June 10, it is in the 50s. Last night? I had to close all the windows and put on a sweatshirt because it was chilly! ON JUNE FUCKING 10!
I’ve been back in Chicago since 2005, so this will be my fifth summer back in the Land of Humidity. And every summer I’ve lived in the city, by this time, I’ve installed the window A/C unit and have turned it on at least once. I actually remember buying my window A/C unit on Memorial Day about three years ago because it was too fucking hot and I just couldn’t take it any more. This year on Memorial Day? It was rainy and barely got up to 65 degrees.
So clearly, my post about Spring really set off Mother Nature. She is not having any of my insubordination. And she’s going to make me pay. By wearing sweaters and fleece jackets in June. DURING THE DAY. And hiding the sun from us just long enough that we forget where we put our damn sunglasses. And then have to drive home from work all squinty.
This is either payback for that post or she saw me trying on those 2 new bathing suits I bought and just put out a preemptive strike for all of the world. She saw the display of massive chunks of pasty white skin, riddled in cellulite and said “Nuh, uh. No way. NO ONE needs to see that.” And she cranked down the thermostat.
Lest you think Mother Nature is fucking around, remember that I was living in a third-floor walk-up with only a small window air conditioner that I couldn’t run all the time because I don’t have piles of gold in my closets, and it was HOT all the time. Living in that apartment, I would have KILLED for it to be this cool for as long as possible. All I dreamt about was the day I would live some place that I had central air. Now that I have central A/C and do not have to worry about the SUFFOCATING HEAT INSIDE MY HOUSE anymore, now that bitch Mother Nature turns the weather cool and I can’t even turn the A/C on because it’s too cold outside for it to even kick on. Oh, the irony! I HEAR YOU CACKLING, MOTHER NATURE!
YOU WIN THIS ROUND! NOW WARM THIS BITCH UP! A-SAP!
I bet she can’t wait for us to all start complaining about the heat and humidity once she gives up this little game of hers. We get it Mother Nature! You’re powerful! GAH. We totally get it. You win. Now give us summer, for the love of God!
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I am SO ANGRY at Chicago weather right now, I could spit. I haven’t been here as long as you, but I can damn sure tell you I should have been able to go to the beach by now.
[rq=1547,0,blog][/rq]Tink-tink-tink.
I agree 100%.
[rq=2089,0,blog][/rq]Weekend update – bullet style.
Okay. I’m LOVING this weather. I know, that soon enough, it’s going to be hot. Too hot to walk the dog, too hot to go bike riding, too hot for the park, too hot for anything. I love not having the air or the heat on. Soon enough, it will come – and then it won’t go away. Hot hot hot. I can wait. I will enjoy it when it comes, but I can wait and enjoy this spring weather for a few more weeks.
[rq=2088,0,blog][/rq]The New Gym
Even though I hate the heat and humidity, I try not to curse it too much, because it makes me appreciate fall all that much more.
Please Mother Nature…could we have a nice day for the Cubs game tomorrow so I don’t need to bring my winter jacket?
Chicago isn’t the only place you messed up with that post.
Here in Los Angeles? It’s also not going above the 70’s during the day. This time of year? We’d be up to the 110’s!
Today is the FIRST day that I wake up and see the sky. The sky hasn’t been visible for about 2 weeks now! Quite amazing.
[rq=2323,0,blog][/rq]Date #1 Preview
Maybe Mother Nature heard my complaints about the heat and she either got confused as to where I live or she’s punishing ME by making it cooler everywhere but where I live.
[rq=2335,0,blog][/rq]Worst Hangover Ever
I would be thrilled to donate twenty degrees from Florida right about now. It’s been 93-97 the last few days & will be for the foreseeable future (read: til mid-October). The catch? You *have* to take some of the 96% (even though it’s sunny & NOT threatening so much as a drop of rain!) humidity too. Naaaaaaasty. I could scoop up a handful of air & lob it like a slushball!
[rq=2363,0,blog][/rq]Grace in Small Things 139:365
so…i can blame YOU for the shitty weather???
thanks, K!
[rq=2402,0,blog][/rq]Yes, pie and flossing *do* excite me. Wanna make something of it?
No kidding, I am in spring sweaters, I haven’t even taken out my summer clothes yet.
[rq=2504,0,blog][/rq]Getting ready for I don’t know what
This is why I’m moving back to Texas. Hot is a given there. And I like it that way.
Yea, thanks. I was getting ready to blame you, too. 😉
Dammit. It’s 61 here right now. At nearly 11 a.m.
[rq=2607,0,blog][/rq]I Also Found a Spoon Circa November 2008
It’s been absolutely glorious here, but I’m sure that all of my boasting will soon backfire.
And Chicago is humid? My hair is going to be AWESOME at BlogHer.
[rq=2789,0,blog][/rq]Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I live in Chicago too and it has been awful. And I like cold weather. But this is just absurd.
Oh, good. It’s not just me that feels like we’ve moved to the Pacific Northwest. Actually, I’m okay with some cool weather. But the rain and the gray? That has got to stop. And I’d like to be able to wear my new cute black sleeveless dress without a sweater and a scarf on over it. Which is how I’m wearing it today. Because it couldn’t stand hanging alone in the closet any more.
[rq=2975,0,blog][/rq]Easy as Reading a Book
Actually, I’m pretty sure this is my fault. It’s because I bought a membership at EBC specifically so I could use the pool and sundeck. TANNING FAIL.
[rq=3217,0,blog][/rq]You’ve Got Questions, I’ve Got Beach Reads
So it’s your fault. Obviously you did more than piss her off. We are all suffering! I should not be wearing long sleeves, jammie pants and fuzzy socks on the eleventh of June.
“We have commonalities to complain about, young and old! Huzzah!”
Oh, so now I can blame Mother Nature for my meetings all having to run 15 minutes long so everyone can go on and on and on, comparing horror stories about how torqued they are about the lack of spring here! She WINS again– for robbing me of my time and my patience as my co-workers prattle on about the injustice of it all. GAH is right. (FWIW, I actually prefer the cooler weather to the humidity, in case you were polling here.)
You messed up San Francisco too. Wait, San Francisco is always like this during the summer. DAMN IT.
[rq=6539,0,blog][/rq]On the Other Hand, They Could’ve Played a Lot of Harry Potter Conventions
That’s it! I’m going back to Hawaii. 85 degrees and breezy on the beach which means you don’t even realize the temp has cracked 80 until you walk off the shore. Granted, this is also how I ended up with 2nd-degree burns on my shoulders… it seriously didn’t feel THAT hot/sunny.
Please don’t piss her off anymore, m’kay?
[rq=7566,0,blog][/rq]Well hello there, Ken
I better not have to bring fucking cardigans to blogher this year.
It’s been like that here too. It’s the middle of summer and still too cold for sundresses
Too bad. We’ve been having warm (though stormy) weather here in the DC area. I’m looking forward to when it’ll hit temps in the 90s. It’s been very humid around here, and my hair has frizzed something fierce because of it.
We have a pool and the water is clear and pretty. And we can’t swim. I think it is an act of Gawd….he is trying to spare my neighbors the sight of my ass in a bathing suit….but it still sucks.
[rq=12122,0,blog][/rq]Oh Hell, I Dunno!!! I’ll Call This Mom Behaving Badly
We’ve had bizarre weather out here too. Damn El Nino or global warming or whatever we are blaming now.
i’m in idaho and the weather here is just as ridiculous as what you’re having there. it was blazing hot right up thru the end of may and now that school is out and it’s supposed to be HOT? it’s been rainy and cloudy for about 10 days. in fact, today is the first day in quite awhile that it would be warm enough to lay by the pool (and of course i chose today to work in the office instead of at home!!). it’s been so screwy that i’m usually running the AC at the same time that the windows are open and i have a fan going. i know…my mother would have a heart attack if she saw all of that happening at once!
.-= auntie´s last blog ..Inside Out =-.