Well That Was Fun

Posted By on May 10, 2009

So I’m all moved in. Once I go to bed tonight, if I ever get to bed, I will be spending my second whole night in my new home. MY home. As in the home I OWN. As in the home that I’m particularly anal about. The home I have been inspecting with a microscope because HOLY SHIT I OWN THIS! And unless I live here for the rest of my life, as a spinster with 17 cats, I will have to resell it and no one will buy a house with a scratch on the hardwood. YES THESE ARE THINGS I WAS THINKING THE MINUTE AFTER I MOVED IN. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

The move went awesomely. I hired awesome movers who moved me in two and a half hours. That included moving a WHOLE apartment down three flights of stairs. Everything was wrapped and taken care of and the three dudes just rocked. Nothing was damaged (that I can see. There are still MANY boxes to open.) So if anyone is in the Chicago area, I highly recommend Jay Movers. They were awesome and so reasonable. I think I paid about the same price I paid when I ended up moving myself.

After I moved in, my good karma continued and the Dish Network guy called, two hours early and was all “hey! What’s up? I’m in your neighborhood, can I come by early?” Hell yes you can! Which actually worked out well because I forgot how long it takes to install that thing, what with drilling through a brick wall and all. So that dude actually took longer than the movers. And by the time he finished, I was ready for bed time because at that point I had been up for like 8 hours and I was tired from standing and supervising and unpacking. It felt like 7 PM when it was 2 PM.

After I was tranquil with the sounds of television, I took my mom home. She came out to help me supervise the move because I didn’t want to get murdered. There were a lot of duffel bags I could have been stuffed into. I clearly had nothing to worry about, but better safe than sorry. On my way home from dropping my mom off, I went to pick up the cats. I knew this wasn’t going to be fun, but they needed to be in the new place and get adjusted. Little did I know that my good karma would end here and that this would be a nightmare.

When the movers were in the apartment packing up, I locked the cats in the bathroom because they had the back door open and I didn’t need them getting in the way. Well, the movers are loud. They wrap everything in that plastic, saran wrapey type stuff and then tape it. It’s a LOUD process. I can only imagine how bad they were freaking out when they were locked in the bathroom and were surrounded by that NOISE!

(Side note, I loved that there was all this noise at 8 AM on a Saturday morning, right above the sleeping pot smokers.)

After the movers left, I let the two cats out. Simba ran out and then was met with rooms filled with nothing. I followed him into the bedroom and he turned and looked at me and was like “mew.” Which meant “where is everything?” So then he ran into the living room and then turned to look at me again and was like “MEW MEW!” Which meant “WE WERE ROBBED! WHY ARE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT, WOMAN?”

Meanwhile Kitty Kitty was hiding behind the toilet in the bathroom and would not move. She was not pleased, to say the least. She’s a fragile little being.

When I went to pick them up, Simba was ready. He wanted something to sit on besides hardwood floor. Since I only have one cat carrier, I put Simba in a duffel bag. He didn’t much care for it, but we were only going two miles. Kitty Kitty, on the other hand, was trying to melt into the corner of the top of the kitchen cabinet. When I went to get her down, I’m pretty sure she left claw marks in the woodwork.

I figured once we got to the condo, they would be fine. Same furniture! Things with their smells! Same big boxes! Now, with added carpet! I was wrong.

Simba was fine. He started exploring and was good with the change. He’s moved a few times in his life. This is old hat. Except for puking on the carpet not six hours in, he was good.

Kitty Kitty, well, she was not fine. Not in the least. She hid under the bed all day and night. Finally, around 11 PM on Saturday, she came out. I figured she’d be fine, explore, have some food and just get acclimated while I slept. Right before I went to bed, I caught her squatting to pee in a duffel bag, so I grabbed her and showed her where the litter box was. Then, not 10 minutes later, I caught her trying to again pee in that duffel, then she hissed at it and then panted like a dog. No, really. Panting.

She meowed A LOT during the night. This loud, whiney, piercing meow that means “I AM UPSET. I DO NOT LIKE THINGS. PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!” But I figured it was her way of adjusting and really, cat, suck it up. This is not the worst thing in the world. Deal with it!

This morning I got up to go spend the day with my mom and my family and as I was getting in the shower, I noticed her getting friendly with the clothes in the laundry basket. Then I took a whiff and realized the bitch peed on my clothes. PEED! ON MY CLOTHES! So much worse than puke! So I put her in the closet. Because it was the only room without carpet and that had a door because I had to shower in the only other room sans carpet with a door.

I figured she was just traumatized from the move. So while I was away today, I left her in the bathroom all day. She seemed to need the confined space.


But at least I took a photo of my bathroom so you could see that.*


That would be the shower curtain I bought last night at Target. And didn’t realize until I got home that I forgot the rings, so I had to go back to Target at 9 PM. After being up and packing/unpacking since 6 AM. I was not pleased, to say the least.

Anyway, back to the cats. I stopped at FOUR pet stores this afternoon to pick up some Feliway, which is a cat pheromone that is supposed to discourage spraying and calm cats down. It seems to be working. Kitty Kitty is out of the bathroom and now sitting in the living room with Simba and me. Except she still smells like cat pee, on the fur around her lady bits. Which means any number of things:

  1. The smell just stays and it is from this morning when she peed on my clothes.
  2. She peed somewhere in the bathroom while she was locked up all day.
  3. She peed somewhere else in the house that I have not found yet. Please, do not let this be a possiblilty.

And now my life is consumed with cats and their pee and making sure my house is not RUINED because some cat is nutters and can’t handle a damn move.

Now I must go to bed. Because I do actually have to go to work in the morning. Which I kind of forgot about because don’t we get a free day off for moving? Because shit, I need it.

*I promise more photos and video of the place to be coming soon. Once I stop obsessing with all things urine. And writing about something besides my cats.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


34 Responses to “Well That Was Fun”

  1. Not that I was ever going to get a cat, but you just reminded me again why it won’t be happening. (Well, that and I’m allergic.)

    I’m glad the move went well!

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Swimming with the toothy fishes

  2. Congrats on the new place.

    Welcome to homeownership!

    And don’t worry, Kitty Kitty will adjust. They always do.

    Sarah, Goon Squad Sarahs last blog post..Unnecessary Ellipsis…

  3. Wow. I didn’t think cats really cared about being in a new space! What happened to the whole cats/curiosity thing?

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  4. Sheri says:

    Sounds like a fun weekend. I’ve only had dogs–dogs that insist on crawling up my arse every waking moment, so I have no sage assvice for you. Your shower curtain rocks though!!!

    Sheris last blog post..Oh Hell, I Dunno!!! I’ll Call This Mom Behaving Badly

  5. Rhi says:

    When we move, Gelsey will usually meow when she can’t find me. Then, I call her name and she comes running and looks relieved, like, “Dude, I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for you.” Except she’s morbidly obese and lazy, so really she probably just lifts her head and doesn’t see me anywhere, and then freaks out. Also, I think she peed while I was gone. Checking phone records to see if she called Kitty Kitty.

    Rhis last blog post..Hey Baby! Let’s go to Vegas!

  6. -R- says:

    Did you have the movers use the little buzzer for the potheads’ apartment every time the movers went in and out of the building?

    -R-s last blog post..Two Things

  7. bikerchick says:

    Yay for moving! Yay for rockin’ help! Yay for KJ’s new home! I thought of you yesterday and knew you’d have good luck, cause you sure got good, cool weather for a move. I’m not a cat person so I can’t help on Kitty Kitty’s tantrums, but I feel your proteciveness of your new digs. She will get over it. Meantime, score some Nature’s Miracle to neutralize pissy odors. Yecccch.

  8. Summer says:

    Glad the move is over. Your bathroom set is very nice. Sucks about Kitty Kitty. I’m sure she’ll get over it soon enough. Cats are so quirky. That’s probably why I don’t own one. 🙂

    Summers last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day

  9. Sarah says:

    Isn’t hiring movers the greatest thing? I really enjoyed the day I moved into my house, sitting on the front porch, eating the take-out lunch my nice friend had brought me, and watching 3 strapping young men do all the heavy lifting? And they took better care of my furniture than I ever have! I will never go back.

    Sarahs last blog post..Sigh

  10. Dawn says:

    My old roommate, a long time ago, had a cat. She ended up getting a kitten later which *really* ticked off the first cat because apparently he didn’t like to share his litterbox with the new one. So he decided to get even. He peed on the roommate’s feather bed. She had to throw it away. He didn’t care. He just peed on her bed the next day. And when she closed her bedroom door after that, he decided to pee on the couch (which was thankfully hers & not mine) and also on the jacket she left on a chair. I was so glad I made a habit of keeping my bedroom door shut prior to all of this starting. I also have never been so happy to move out of anywhere in my whole life.

    Dawns last blog post..exercising cautious optimism

  11. ali says:

    i think you need to get rid of your cats.

    also? you moved. that’s awesome. and stuff.

    alis last blog post..the yin and the yang (I still can’t believe I just wrote that…)

  12. TUWABVB says:

    I wish we were given a certain amount of minutes during our liftime that our animals could understand us. We could use up like 30 seconds at the kennel (“I’m not leaving you here forever, I’ll be back in three days), at the vet (“It’s for your own good and I’ll spoil you afterwards”) and when we move (“We are ALL going to live here”). God, I remember the torture of having two dogs wiht little to no walking room wbefore the boxes were unloaded. We all almost killed each other.

    TUWABVBs last blog post..An Early Mothers’ Day Tribute to My Mom (or Why I’ve Been Going to Professional Waxers Since the Young Age of 17)

  13. Christina says:

    Congrats on a sucessful move, now you can take your time to unpack. I have 3 boxes that have still to be unpacked and I have been in my place for over a year!

    Christinas last blog post..Tired woman

  14. Cass says:

    Congrats on getting all moved into the new place, and for hopefully waking up the neighbors (who completely deserve it!).

    I feel your pain with Kitty Kitty, it will take some time for her to adjust but hopefully it will all work out. Poor girl doesn’t handle change well (a little after my own heart).

    Casss last blog post..Who needs a new pen??

  15. Mahnee says:

    Can’t say enough good things about Jay’s Movers. Unreal…they weren’t the biggest guys but man…could they hoist the heavy stuff. I will be telling the story about the little dude carrying your freaking HEAVY TV on his BACK down three flights of stairs for a long time.

    I have nothing to say about Kitty Kitty except that I hope the peeing is all over and done with.

  16. So glad to hear the move went well! (except for the cat pee part) Now, go enjoy your new home 🙂

    La Petite Chics last blog post..The First Things to Go

  17. Deb says:

    Hi-Just a thought about Kitty Kitty….my cat NEVER went outside of the litter box. Then one day I found him peeing on my comforter. I took him to the vet and he had a raging bladder infection. Maybe KK is feeling well? Congrats on the move BTW.

  18. Julie K says:

    Congrats on the move AND on the shoutout in Pretty In Plaid!

  19. gorillabuns says:

    man, i barely have a shower curtain in my spare guest bathroom and i’ve lived here for 9 years!

    sad to say, i’ve had this experience with petulant pee-pots. Unfortunately, they only have two legs and take way longer to figure this shit out than a normal animal.

    congrats on the new digs!!!!

    gorillabunss last blog post..nine out of ten

  20. Carri says:

    I pity, kitty kitty for messing with your new digs! She is literally piised off at you.
    Glad your in, and no more second hand smoke from your POT friends.

  21. Marianne says:

    very very pretty! 🙂

    Mariannes last blog post..Kindness of Strangers

  22. Angella says:

    You are my favorite cat lady 😉

    Love the curtain! Can’t wait to see the rest.

    Angellas last blog post..Diesel Is Not Just An Alternative Fuel

  23. metalia says:

    You know what would make my life complete? Another post from the point of view of teh kittehs, this time, as they explore their new abode. I GIVE YOU GOLD, KRISTIN.

    (Congrats on being all moved in! Seriously.)

    metalias last blog post..Questions, comments and confessions about spices, most of which I did not know I had until hiding in my pantry while on a call five minutes ago.

  24. Ree says:

    Cats do NOT take moves well. 😉

    I love the shower curtain.

    Rees last blog post..MM – Spirit

  25. Miss Jones says:

    I wish I couldn’t relate to your cat issues! How about a blacklight for a housewarming gift?

  26. Lauren says:

    Brilliant post! Definitely coming back to this blog. Also, the very best stories on all the blogs I read seem to be animal based – they really must do the silliest things!

  27. tutugirl1345 says:

    My family once adopted a cat from a family friend when she realized her son was deathly allergic to it. The cat was not so happy about the move, and displayed its displeasure every. single. day. by peeing on our oriental rug. Never anywhere else.

    After a year, the cat retired to Florida.

    tutugirl1345s last blog post..Perhaps I should just nail myself to something

  28. Julie C says:

    Gawd, and YOU felt bad for me, single-parenting it during spring training??!! You poor thing! Moving sucks enough as is… I hope Kitty Kitty is taking a liking to her new drugs and mellowing out. Hang in there!

    Julie Cs last blog post..No?’s Dunking Day

  29. Okay, I need to find out more about this Feliway stuff because my cat has been banished to the backyard due to his inappropriate peeing. He’s done this for, oh, TEN FREAKING YEARS at this point, so I know he’s not sick (which is totally the first thing everyone always says to me). Keep me updated on the whole Feliway working thing.

    living with lindsays last blog post..Teach Me Tuesday: Recovering a Thrift Store Chair

  30. Kristie says:

    Poor Kitty Kitty! I hope she adjusts and does it quickly so you don’t have to keep worrying about pee. That’s no fun!

    Kristies last blog post..Meal planning

  31. Kerri Anne says:

    I cannot even tell you how much I want to buy a house right now, which is quasi crazy because I never considered myself a “must-be homeowner, now!” type. But the amount we pay in rent every month has begun to sear my soul.

    Kerri Annes last blog post..Tom Petty, Prophet

  32. regan says:

    I bought some kitty tranquility treats for Molly that seem to work. They are the hippie version of prozac for cats according to a vet friend. She hasn’t been peeing on the floor anymore, although that could really be thanks to me locking her out of the second bedroom and not because of the hippie kitty treats.

    Yay for moving!

  33. Scarlet says:

    love that shower curtain. mine has maps and postcards on it.

    Scarlets last blog post..Via Chicago