Oh Acid Reflux, I Would Like To Kick You

Posted By on February 2, 2009

So remember my heartburn/tummy troubles? I haven’t really blogged a lot about them for a few weeks. Mostly because I haven’t been blogging regularly in the last two weeks. Want to know why? Because caffeine is the only way I can function.

I’ve been off caffeine for a little over two weeks. I’ve been taking that purple pill every day for like 17 days and there is marked improvement. I feel better. I’m not ingesting whole bottles of Tums. I’m really working on removing acidic foods from my diet. And I think it is all helping.

Well, until recently. See, I had my first cup of coffee in over two weeks on Saturday. It was like the nectar of the Gods. Coffee has never tasted that good. I enjoyed it and savored it and after I finished? No tummy troubles. I WAS CURED! HUZZAH! Except I’m not an idiot and knew it was because it wasn’t on an empty stomach and that one cup won’t bother me, but going back to 1-2 cups a day probably will.

And then in my coffee cockiness, probably from the high of finding a condo and because CAFFEINE IS MAGICAL, I had a burrito for dinner. I was still good after the burrito. And then I threw all caution to the wind and decided to have a Diet Pepsi AND tomato soup for dinner on Sunday. BECAUSE I’M A FUCKING IDIOT.

The result? Mild, yet annoying, reflux for the last day and a half. And that is with NO acidic foods since the soup. My stomach is just giving me a big fucking middle finger and yelling “that will teach you, Cocky McArrogantpants!”

And the plan wasn’t even to write about all of the burning that is going on right now. The plan was to talk about how I cannot function without caffeine. And how sad it is that the only 2 cups of coffee I had each day really got me through. Either that or I’m looking for an excuse to be lazy. It’s totally either one of those things.

I figured that once I got used to no morning coffee, I would be fine. I mean, I didn’t drink coffee until I was about 27 years old, so this isn’t a life-long habit. In fact, I forced myself to like coffee back then because I was only getting 3 hours a sleep a night and I actually needed something to get me through the day. And it was football season, so there was no napping under the desk.

I haven’t gotten used to days without coffee. I’m tired all day. I’ve started to go to bed earlier to help my body get used to just being well-rested and not in need of a jolt from a drug. But my body believes that the only true mark of a good night’s sleep is to sleep for 11 or more hours. And well, then I’d have to go to bed when I came home. And well, when I get home, I have to eat my boring, plain diet of things that are not acidic. Did you know that you can get tired of ranch dressing? Because all you want is Italian dressing, but you can’t because oh, the vinegar, it BUUUUURRRNNNSSS! I would gnaw off my left toe for some vinaigrette.

Anyway, so I tell myself that I should start to work out more to help with the lack of energy. Pre-crazy-cut-caffeine-out-of-your-diet plan, I was doing the 30 Day Shred. I was trying to do it 3-4 times a week and doing well. Since this diagnosis, I haven’t had the desire. Mostly because I’ve fallen into the habit of falling asleep on the couch at 8 PM. That and last week I went out a few nights and didn’t get enough sleep and drank too much alcohol.

So my goal this week is to get back into a workout routine. It makes me feel better, sleep better, pants fit better, I know this. I just have to convince myself of this when the 8 PM nap rolls around. And also, for the love of God, it’s 20 fucking minutes. The couch and TV will still be there when I’m done.

And then after that, maybe my stomach will forgive me for my transgressions this weekend and we can be friends again and we can have Mr. Dunkin Donuts over for coffee. Because that would be swell.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


29 Responses to “Oh Acid Reflux, I Would Like To Kick You”

  1. metalia says:

    I’ve also developed food issues of late. Like, within the past few years, pineapple, walnuts, and eggplant make me break out in a blotchy rash, and my throat gets all tingly. I should probably stop eating them, yes?

    metalias last blog post..Everything you’ve always wanted to know about Jury Duty: A (thinly-veiled, fake) Q & A

  2. I gave up caffeine yesterday. I made it all of 12 hours when I threw in the towel because of my pounding headache that would not go away.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Jen on the Edge of insanity

  3. Issy says:

    Have you tried green tea? When I cut out coffee I replaced it with hot tea to try and trick my body, like “hey, shut up, you’re getting your hot beverage in the morning!” It worked well enough.

  4. Sorry, I have to cut this comment short. Your post reminded me I have to go grab a cup of coffee!

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Nothing

  5. ali says:

    when i take my prevacid, i can totally drink coffee.
    just saying 😉

    alis last blog post..the difference between #1 and #2 (and we are not talking about my bathroom habits) (y’all are gross)

  6. christina says:

    Can you drink tea, there are some really good decaf teas from Republic of Tea. I swear by their mango ceylon tea.

    christinas last blog post..Snooping on myself

  7. Amber says:

    Terry once went through a stage of really bad acid reflux that lasted for months, so I feel your pain. Well, not literally, obviously, but I know how much it can disrupt your life. As for the coffee, that I really DO understand, because I can’t function without it either, so you have my sympathies there. I think the drop in energy is to be expected when you quite caffeine, though, so give it a few days to get out of your system and the working out should come easier…

    Ambers last blog post..“Blinglish” – the type of English used in blog comments

  8. Schwerer says:

    I bought that DVD last week, it is still sitting in its package on my coffee table. I should do it too, maybe then I could actually sleep too?

  9. Melissa says:

    Sounds like maybe you can indulge a few times a week just not one day after the other? How’s that for lousy advice?

    Some of the medication I was taking was giving me killer heartburn…thought I would die…I sure hope that you can get this figured out. I know giving up caffiene would probably kill me

    Melissas last blog post..Waiter, There’s A Fly In My Soup…Uh, No Really!!

  10. I get a roiling stomach and heart burn just THINKING about tomato soup! It’s the devil’s blood, I’m convinced. Same with coffee, come to think of it. Maybe you can treat yourself to various tea-based drinks from Starbucks a few times a week, to take the edge off.

    Amanda Nicoles last blog post..a weekend update to remember

  11. Giggle Pixie says:

    Oh, my heart just goes out to you! I would be soooooo lost without my caffeine!!!!

    I hope you can find some middle ground soon, where you can still get a few caffeine jolts and not upset that tummy!

    Giggle Pixies last blog post..Politically Correct Vocabulary Lesson

  12. Angella says:

    I have cut DOWN on caffeine, but no way I can cut it out.

    I hope you feel better soon, babe.

    Angellas last blog post..Grace In Small Things – Dos

  13. Sheri says:

    I’m agreeing with the try tea commenter, but then again, I drink a whole pot of coffee throughout the day about 4 days a week…..

    Sheris last blog post..The Ultimate Loss

  14. bikerchick says:

    So sorry you are going through this, KJ. I hear you about how coffee makes your life complete 😉 I don’t suffer acid reflux, but the funny woman at Nannygoats in Panties does and she just posted this yesterday. Wonder if her solution might help you out some? http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/2009/02/nocturnal-admissions-when-pillow-talk.html

  15. Jen says:

    I am so sorry because I do not know what I would do without my morning coffee. This is probably not helping you, huh? I think the tea commenter has a good idea. I am wishing for that magical day when coffee does not bother you anymore! The workout routine sounds like a good idea – a good run always makes me feel better. Hang in there!

  16. Candy says:

    Well, I can only tell you what worked for me, and I’ve recommended it to others and it works for them.

    First I told you, I only take Prevacid. It is the best of the lot. Purple pill be damned, been there done that, it’s not as good.

    Second, I supplement with over the counter Pepcid AC. I take the Prevacid daily, and as soon as I feel icky I pop a Pepcid. Works like a charm.

    If I were you, I’d take the Pepcid, and then 15 minutes later have the coffee or whatever you want, and see how that goes. And keep taking your purple pill as prescribed, but use the Pepcid like an asthmatic uses an inhaler.

    Candys last blog post..In Which I Realize there are NO Breaks to be had

  17. Hollylynne says:

    OUCH! Sorry! I dont know what I’d do without caffeine either, it truly is magical. Hopefully you’ll be able to find some happy middle ground soon!

    Hollylynnes last blog post..Monday Morning Confessions

  18. Josie says:

    I have tried to kick the caffeine habit and failed miserably every time. The headaches get me everytime.

    I’d have to agree with the tea comment.

    Other than that, fingers crossed that it gets better soon.

    Josies last blog post..25 random things about WB by WB

  19. TUWABVB says:

    I thought I had discovered your problem when you said purple pill – you see Priolec is pink and I assumed perhaps you were taking something for ED instead and that’s why you felt so bad. Then I realized that’s Nexium and so, I’m no help at all.

    I will say that foods that used to bother me in the beginning of taking a pill stopped after I had been on it for a couple of months – I hope the same is the case with you. Otherwise, I would just start shooting espresso into my veins to make it through the day.

    TUWABVBs last blog post..The Remaining 17 Random Things About Me

  20. I like The Shred…in theory. Me and Pushups have an unhealthy relationship so I had to cut that sh*t out. But I did discover if you print the workouts off her website you can do them AND watch TV.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..A Case of the Awkwards

  21. Carri says:

    Protonix is what I take daily and I can drink wine, coffee beer tom soup, etc
    you get it from the Dr. but it’s way worth it!

  22. Scarlet says:

    I got a triple grande drink before driving home and 10 minutes before i got there, i was having trouble staying awake. it’s ridic.

    Scarlets last blog post..Welcome To The Monkey House

  23. Erin says:

    Okay, I have to ask a stupid question: Did your doctor tell you specifically to cut out caffeine or just coffee? The reason I ask is that coffee is acidic by nature–even decaf stuff will murder your stomach, but there are plenty of really great caffeinated hot drinks out there that you can use to jump start your morning. Chai tea (when made with milk) is INCREDIBLY tasty, caffeinated and feels more like hot chocolate when you drink it. In fact, depending on its concentration, black tea can have as much as three times the amount of caffeine as coffee.

    Erins last blog post..A good evening.

  24. Kimberly says:

    I will die without coffee. Pain and simple truth.

    And the 30 Day Shred? I started a fucking FB group for the damn thing and have only done it twice. My fat ass needs more coffee.

    Kimberlys last blog post..I Know You Wanna See Me Salsa

  25. Corey says:

    I think you may have more serious problems if you only have one left toe.

    Seriously though, I had some heartburn troubles and lost a nice amount of weight without exercising because I pretty much went on the Subway diet. I couldn’t drink caffeine or anything carbonated, no tomatoes, nothing spicy, and nothing fried. It wasn’t fun, but I did slim down! Bright side and all…

    Coreys last blog post..The Four Way Test

  26. Rhi says:

    I’ve had heartburn every day this week. I’ve also eaten Mexican food every day this week, so I have nobody but myself to blame.

    Rhis last blog post..25 Things You Could Have Gone Without Knowing

  27. Caffeinatrix says:

    I have to agree with the commenter who recommended chai tea w/ milk or cream. It’s so. Damn. Good.

  28. Jerri Ann says:

    I didn’t read all the responses but cold drinks are the worst things you can drink if you have reflux…..for me, I’d rather take my purple pill

    Jerri Anns last blog post..Jen Lancaster – I was ready to pass out

  29. CHAYMAE says:

    coffee is like kids no matter how bad they do we will always love them.