I Need A Little Sassy Kay In My Life*

Posted By on October 9, 2008

I always write my blog posts at night. At the very earliest, I think I’ve written posts in the late afternoon, possibly in a Word document to post when I got home in the evening. I am not a morning person and this translates to my creative time. I can barely keep my eyes open in the morning, let alone be witty and form sentences. In addition, I’ve noticed I’m much better at interviews that take place later in the morning or afternoon. Starting around 4 PM in the afternoon is my “funny time”.

So that is why I always write later at night. A lot of times things will come to me in the middle of the night or right before I go to bed, which is why I keep a notepad by my bed. I need to be ready when genius strikes. Plus, I always wanted to see if it was true that if you just started writing the minute you woke up, you would remember your dreams. Too bad when I get up all I’m thinking about is either crying or when I can go back to bed. I could give two shits about my weird dreams.

Today after I got home from my interview at the churchy organization (it went well, I really liked the people. It’s just too bad that I would hate the actual job and not be able to do it) I was doing a few dishes and as I was scrub-a-dub-dubbing, I had all these funny zingers to write about in my head. I didn’t write them down otherwise I’d end up with a pile of wet paper which would probably only be good for spit balls or papier mache. But, I figured I would remember them because they were SO FUNNY.

Guess what? I have no idea what was so fucking funny that I was snickering in my soap suds.

It might have had something to do with the new litter box I bought for my cats. Which they were not sure what to do with. It is bigger than the last one and I think they are overeating and drinking bowls of water on purpose just to hang out in the roomy litter box. I think I caught one of them napping in there. Now they can throw raves in there with the neighborhood cats, if I ever get a job and leave the house again, they tell me.

It might have had something to do with the slacker hippies below me that smoke a lot of pot. I know I’m home during the day now, which is during peak pot-smoking hours for the slacker community, but it’s starting to get fucking irritating. I’m tired of that acidic smell. It gives me a damn headache. It’s like they forget that smoke wafts upwards! I so want to tattle on them because GROW THE FUCK UP AND GET A JOB! SAYS THE CRAZY UNEMPLOYED WOMAN WHO ISN’T WEARING ANY PANTS!

But I don’t remember any of these things because my brain cells are dropping like flies from lack of use. Not from alcohol intake. Even if it is always Beer O’Clock in Unemploymentville.

*Sassy Kay, the most famous puppy on the interwebs.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


14 Responses to “I Need A Little Sassy Kay In My Life*”

  1. Seriously girl, you have got to deal with the potheads. Give me the number to call and I’ll do the deed.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Life is short. Don’t make it shorter.

  2. Candy says:

    Heh…even when you don’t remember what you’re talking about you crack me up. I bought our cats a new litter box, with a door on it, and my smallest, most timid cat just kept staring at it and then back at me, wondering who was going to open the door for him. Because he had NO INTENTION of touching it.

    Had to finally rip that thing off its hinges. The things we go through for our kids…er…cats.

    Candys last blog post..Current Events

  3. Scarlet says:

    The other day I was complaining to my mamasita that I hate getting up in the morning. Like HATE IT! She said, “Well, get a job that’s at night!” Um, does she know me at all? I said, “THAT’S MY PRIME TIME!” Night is when I’m alive. 9pm+ is ideal for me.

    Scarlets last blog post..I Wanna Grow Up To Be A Politican

  4. Melissa says:

    Beer O’Clock in Unemploymentville….PRICELESS…I laughed out loud.

    Melissas last blog post..Wordful Wednesday or How I Spent my Tuesday

  5. slynnro says:


  6. Rhi says:

    I am going to see you in ONE MONTH.

    That is all.

    Rhis last blog post..Things that have made me cry recently for no apparent reason

  7. Mahnee says:

    I just downloaded an autumn kitty cat screen saver but none of the kitties are in litter boxes. I think Simba used to lay on fresh litter in the litter box even when the box wasn’t brand new.

  8. Career Option #2: DEA agent. So if the sommelier thing doesn’t work out, you’ve got a back up.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Lefts of Passage

  9. Elle Charlie says:

    Maybe all the weed is going to your head and making your forgetful? I say blame the tokers.

    Elle Charlies last blog post..Is that Eau de Feces you’re wearing?

  10. Elle Charlie says:

    Maybe all the weed is going to your head and making your forgetful? I say blame the tokers.

  11. Kristie says:

    I think of funny things too, blog about them, and then no one thinks it’s funny. But I entertain myself!

    Kristies last blog post..Almost 2 years later

  12. Evil Genius says:

    I’m one of those disgusting morning people that everyone loves to hate. I think it’s why my first husband left. Seriously! 🙂 Okay, so maybe that had more to do with the 17-year old he was schtooping, but I’m sure my morning-person-annoying-ness played into it somehow. lol

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..This Meme is for the Worms

  13. whoorl says:

    We are total opposites on the time continuum, which means we could be the Ultimate Team of Hilariousness. 24/7, dude. Snickering in our soap suds. The whole gamut. Let’s charge people and get RICH.

    whoorls last blog post..Dream Journal

  14. Ree says:

    Sassy Kay is a cutie-pie!

    Rees last blog post..Don’t Ask – Just Tell