It’s A Blogstravaganza!

Posted By on July 13, 2008

I am livid right now. I just wrote this whole fucking post about my weekend and it fucking disappeared. And I’m not happy about it. The fucking internet has been screwy today and on top of it, my god damned DVR blew up. Which means that everything I had taped on it is gone and that I can’t do anything but watch live TV until I get a new one.

And you are all “cry me a fucking river, it is a DVR.” But you know what? It is irritating. Especially since I leave for San Francisco on Thursday and who knows if I’ll have it by then. Which means it will be sitting in a box in my god damned entryway to my apartment and most likely won’t be there when I get back from my trip.

I hate sitting here trying to re-create something that you already wrote. Especially when I don’t ever have an idea how it is going to come out. It just does. And when I’m in a pissy mood, I tend to write like a pissy asshole.

And on top of it, my teeth are all hurty because I’m a vain asshole and thought I should whiten my teeth before BlogHer next weekend. And after one application, my teeth hurt so bad I would like to pull them out one by one with needle-nose pliers. So everyone will have to deal with my non-white teeth that will just be purple from all the red wine anyway.

Deep breaths, deep breaths. I will tell you about my weekend. And I’ll try to be in a better mood. 

This weekend I met up with some fellow bloggers. And now I am more prepared for this coming weekend because those people did not go running and screaming after meeting me. There was some running, and maybe a little yelling, but no screaming.

On Friday night, I dropped everything, which consisted of plans to sit my ass on my couch and watch TV, to go meet Heather B. out after work. We obviously went to a wine bar and sat and talked and poured fermented grape juice down our throats.

After our bellies were full of nothing but wine, I hesitantly asked her if she wanted to maybe get some dinner so that she didn’t spend the evening puking up said wine. But mostly I asked her to go to dinner because I didn’t want our night to end! It was the best first date ever!

So we went down the street to Harry Caray’s. Which was funny because she didn’t know who Harry Caray was. So I think I told her. Or I may have just said “it’s a famous place with good food, let’s eat!” We both ordered pasta and were full and happy. I even made her take a photo of us by the statue of Harry’s head because I was all “I want proof that I hung out with Heather B.!” And she was all “we’ll see each other in less than a week.” Because she still actually makes sense after a few too many glasses of wine.

After dinner, we walked back to her hotel and I totally invited myself for a nightcap because I didn’t want our date to end. On the way to the hotel, I even got to meet her mom. Which was a little fast to be meeting the parents, but I figured our relationship was on a fast track.

We headed to the hotel bar, where I made Heather talk to strangers. Heather does not like to talk to strangers. (Consequently, this is one of my most favorite things to do.) So we talked to some dude, helped him try to flag down a bartender and then he made some idle chit chat with us.

Stranger: So how do you two know each other?

Me: *blink blink blink*

(turn to Heather)

Heather: *blink blink blink* “Through mutual friends.”

Me: *giggling uncontrollably* “We’re actually lovers.”

And then we went on and on about our strained relationship and how we are trying to work things out and we’re actually going to San Francisco next weekend to really work on trying to fix the relationship and reconcile and move on. And then he was like “well, that seems like the perfect place to work on a special same-sex relationship.”

And then Heather murdered me for EVERY TALKING TO STRANGERS IN THE FIRST PLACE. And that was the end of our perfect first date.

Saturday night was more blogger fun, as the ladies on the Mom Road Trip made a pit stop in Chicago. They are driving to San Francisco for BlogHer, picking up fellow bloggers along the way and documenting it. You can read all about it here.

I am not that familiar with most of the people on the trip, but Sarah from Sarah and the Goon Squad was there and once I knew that, I had to go stalk her! I pink puffy heart her.

She is fabulous and we hit it off right away like we were old pals. And I’m seriously so happy that I have met a few people now that will be there next week so maybe I won’t spend all my time behind the ficus at the conference. I’ll at least come out to refill my beverage.

Today I did some shopping for some last minute things for my trip. And then I fought with the Dish Network people because their solution for everything is to shut it off and turn it back on. And when that doesn’t work, they tell you to unplug it for a minute. And what was more irritating is that I did all this before calling because I actually TROUBLESHOT (TROUBLESHOOTED?) on my own so that I wouldn’t waste their time. And instead the woman was asking me all these stupid questions like “is it on? Is it plugged in? Did you push the SAT button on the remote? What do you see?” So I said “my foot kicking in your face.”

Actually I yelled “I LOVE MONEY IS ON TONIGHT!” and hung up on her. Because bitch, I don’t remember what it is like to live without a DVR and not be able to pause live TV. What do normal people do when they have to pee when they are watching TV?

So I made banana bread. Just like in the olden days, before technology.

And finally, as I was sitting her writing the LAST post that disappeared that was substantially funnier, my home phone rang and some dude left a message. (Note, I do not answer my phone at home. My family knows this and will leave a message to tell me to pick up when they need to talk to me. I also don’t answer my cell phone most times. I hate talking on the phone. I would rather spend 40 minutes texting with someone than have a five minute phone conversation.)

Anyway, this drunk sounding man is leaving a message and he’s telling whoever he thinks he’s calling to call him back. He leave his number, pauses and then says “you don’t sound like my sister either. Hmmmm.” And then he hangs up.

Thankfully he said that, otherwise I would have thought it was one of my cab driver lovers.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


30 Responses to “It’s A Blogstravaganza!”

  1. jodifur says:

    So jealous! I love Sarah and Devra!

    jodifur’s last blog post..Somewhere Between an Apple and Poop

  2. The Muse says:

    I have a feeling the first post had all the garbaldy-gook from the latter half off the ILM convo. Y’know, the part where I got drunk on boxed red sangria from Target (it is really good, I swear!), and then my bf tried to take over my keyboard… while I was still typing.

    Maybe that will make for a good post today. Yesh.

    The Muse’s last blog post..Snort.

  3. Lauren says:

    Ask them to either ship the DVR on a certain date because you’re going away and you don’t want it to get stolen or request that it be sent to a family or friends house.

    Lauren’s last blog post..Ten Ways to NOT Break Up With Someone

  4. Mahnee says:

    You can always have the DVR shipped to me…sorry I don’t have time to stop by your place to see if it was delivered but if you can get in touch with them, have them send it by me.

  5. Raven says:

    You know this weekend is going to be great because I am going to be there. (there should be a way to make the I more important in that sentence) We are already deeply in love, what with our 100 daily e-mails!

    Did you buy clothes? I am trying to figure out what sized suitcase to bring. Fuck me this trip is all complication and shit.

    Raven’s last blog post..the final roomate

  6. Ditto on hating to talk on the phone. I worked at an online university for a year, so all my contacts with my students was via phone. Urgh! It is a challenge to soung polite while you are stapling your hand to your desk, so I am now a self-proclaimed texting queen.

    Banana bread? You’ve go skillz!

    thecoconutdiaries’s last blog post..You’re So Vain, I Bet You Think This Blog Is About You

  7. Ashmystir says:


    I love banana bread. I hope you put nuts in it or I will have to hunt you down and beat the crap out of ya!


    Ashmystir’s last blog post..It’s Monday and I’m up. Now give me a cookie!

  8. Nancy says:

    I’ll be hunting you down … I don’t know anyone either … but I like talking to strangers too … after a few glasses of wine =)

    Nancy’s last blog post..Cuffs

  9. Angella says:

    I am SO ENVIOUS that you got to meet HB’s Mom!

    And that you met HB, of course 🙂

    Angella’s last blog post..Three Posts In One

  10. Katie says:

    Ahh, I’m so jealous of your special first date! I enjoy talking to random strangers too so we’ll have to make sure we do that this weekend.
    P.S. Those teeth whiteners do the same thing to my teeth. They do get them white though!

    Katie’s last blog post..Jumping on the Wagon

  11. ali says:

    awesome. about meeting Heather B and the other bloggers…not so much about the pvr…:)


    ali’s last blog with Emily…*sigh*

  12. Sheri says:

    Weren’t you giving up wine???

    Just sayin’

    I heart Harry Caray.

    Sheri’s last blog post..Down on the Farm

  13. Candy says:

    I never drink red wine but the other night I ran out of white and so was forced to imbibe. I woke up in the morning with purple blotched lips. How do you people put up with this??

    Candy’s last blog post..If only I had had an Acme Spigot to prove my point

  14. Dingo says:

    I could not live without a DVR, not for all the wine in winedom. Nosiree.

    I, too, hate talking on the phone. I have been known to instruct people who call me to IM or text me. Yeah, I’m just that obnoxious.

    Dingo’s last blog post..Go Find the Funny Contest

  15. Noelle says:

    It seems like you recovered your post just fine… But to have a post with hyperlinks disappear, that would piss me off rightly, too.

    Noelle’s last blog post..7. The Loft

  16. Erin says:

    Wow, I could NOT live without my DVR. I feel for you!

    I also would rather text than talk on the phone. This drives my friends KRAZY!

    Erin’s last blog post..Whip It Up! Week 1

  17. Amber says:

    Argh, I hate it when a post dissapears like that. And the teeth-hurty feeling – I know exactly the sensation you’re talking about…

    Amber’s last blog post..The One Where I Fall On My Ass

  18. Kristie says:

    OMG, I DIE without DVR access. Those people pissed me off a few months ago when my DVR bit the dust. They did not understand the enormity of losing ones lifeline to the outside world. Asshats.

    Kristie’s last blog post..I know, I’m stealing this from many other bloggers.

  19. Laurel says:

    Funnest weekend ever! I wish I was going to BlogHer… boo hoo! Let’s have our own mini BlogHer after August 1, okay?

    Laurel’s last blog post..Happy Birthday, AS!

  20. Swishy says:

    I never answer my home phone either. EVER. I do answer my cell phone, though. Usually.

    Swishy’s last blog post..Hey, Brad … call me!

  21. jen says:

    The DVR that erases itself drives me batsh*t crazy. The one in my bedroom has erased itself after power surges on more than one occasion. It’s always such a surprise also – it’s like that cookie you saved only to find out your roommate ate it a day ago, or stepping in cat vomit with bare feet.

  22. HouseofJules says:

    Would you believe that I was at House of Blues and Hotel Sax with friends (& Eric Jerardi, who totally hung with us after his show!) on Friday night and thought, “Hmmm, I wish I had KJ’s number.” I totally would have called you to see if you wanted to meet up and now I read that you were literally AROUND THE CORNER from me the whole night?! Insane. Sorry about your DVR. I cracked up at your “I LOVE MONEY IS ON TONIGHT”, but only because I know how you feel. It’s like a drug.
    House of Jules

    HouseofJules’s last blog post..They’re so big that AC/DC wrote a song about them

  23. slynnro says:

    HAHA. I’m whitening my teeth now and they are fucking KILLING ME.

    slynnro’s last blog post..Happy Birthday to me!

  24. Evil Genius says:

    OMG, this was hysterical! It sounds like you had a great weekend. Oh, and I hope you get the damnable DVR machine thingie working again soon. I’d just hate to think of you trying to kick the dish network tech support guy/girl through the phone. That would definitely leave a mark.

    You really got my attention when you said you don’t like answering or talking on your phone. ME TOO! I’ve actually blogged about it before. It’s almost like a phobia, I panic because I’m going to have to make small talk INTO A TINY METAL BOX!

    Nope, give me texting or email or even SNAIL MAIL for chrissake, but please don’t make me talk on the phone! 🙂

    Evil Genius’s last blog post..M-Utterings

  25. Heather B. says:

    I didn’t expect for you to discuss our troubled relationship so publicly. That said, I’m hoping that our trip to SFHo will bring us back together.

    Heather B.’s last blog post..If I’m Not Here…(Volume 1)

  26. Coast Rat says:

    Bummer to lose your post. I’ve had that happen when emailing a number of times, so now when I do any lengthy email, I hit Save, several times as I am doing it. I do the same thing now with my posts. I think WordPress auto saves, too, but I won’t chance it anymore.

    Have a great time in SF!


  27. Cara says:

    We actually have two Direct TV dvr’s and Tivo as a backup, because if we were to miss something it would be catastrophic. Now THAT is pathetic.

    Cara’s last blog post..Hours Days Months Years

  28. Vanessa says:

    The DVR is the second best invention evah! Second only to the internet!

  29. Lys says:

    OK – what’s this – Red Sangria in a BOX? Seriously? I need to get my happy behind to TarJayyyyy.

    You know that I Love Money will be repeated umpteenth times already. When the DirecTV People start talking me through troubleshooting stuff I always escalate to a manager. I’m sure they have my account marked “Former Cable *itch” but eehhhh. Sounds like you did it correctly the first time – they are just off their rockers

    Lys’s last blog post..It’s [Nordstrom’s] Anniversary…

  30. I pink puffy heart you too!

    (And yes, I am three weeks behind on my blog reading.)

    Sarah, Goon Squad Sarahs last blog post..All That and a Baggie Full of Ham