Where I Try Not To Mention BlogHer More Than 10 Times

Posted By on July 14, 2008

I am really trying to write a post that isn’t all consuming about my upcoming trip to San Francisco for BlogHer. Because that’s all I talk about on email and to anyone who will listen. And let me tell you, the elderly woman in the dressing room at Target is scarred for life because she didn’t even know what blogging was and she did not need to see my in my skivvies when I asked her if going naked to BlogHer was an option. I don’t think that poor woman has seen that much cottage cheese since the buffet at the nursing home.

But I do have a ton to do before I leave butt-ass early on Thursday morning. Because in true Kristabella fashion, I waited until the very last minute to do everything. And I am still freaking out that I do not have the right clothes. Even though I don’t care and will probably end up in jeans and my Bacon shirt every day. Because then I won’t even have to hand out business cards. I’ll be a walking billboard.

So then, what else can I talk about besides BlogHer? Nothing. That is the answer.

I can tell you how Heather B. made fun of me for my commenting spreadsheet. And I know it is only because she’s jealous.

See, I read a lot of blogs. And since I’ve been so bored at work lately, I’ve been able to catch up on the posts in my reader. But there are only a select few that I can actually comment on at work that aren’t blocked. So to pass the time, I decided that I would star the posts I wanted to comment on and remember to comment on them when I got home. This was all fine and good, but when I got home hours later I had all these starred posts and no idea what I wanted to share with the world through my awesome commenting ability. Which was frustrating. Because I apparently had THINGS TO SAY. And then I would have to re-read and really, I have the attention span of a crack ho, so that just meant I unstarred everything without EVER COMMENTING. THE HORROR! *Gasp*

So I decided to start typing out my comments in Word. That worked OK, but then to alphabetize and everything was becoming a big hassle. So then I had the GENIUS idea to type all my comments in a spreadsheet. I could sort them by blog name, post title or inane comment. Then I star the posts that I want to comment on in Google Reader and then copy and paste my comments into those starred blogs when I get home. It is an awesome plan! Even more so because then it looks like I’m working because I’m constantly typing away in Excel. BRILLIANT!

And just typing this out now makes me realize why Heather laughed so hard when I told her this. It is a bit anal and neurotic. But it is the only way to be able to keep reading blogs and not just Mark All As Read. I do it for all of you. I am the Crazy Spreadsheet Comment Lady out of LOVE.

Go ahead, you can laugh too. But you won’t laugh when I stop spreading my inane drivel in your comment boxes.

In other I’m-Not-Going-To-Talk-About-BlogHer news, I have reached a bad point at work. I have reached that point where I just do not care. I do not want to be invited to meetings, I do not want to meet potential vendors, I do not even want to come in. Do you realize how hard it is to come in every day to a job that decided you were not needed anymore?

And on top of it, I’m BUSY. What the figgity fuck? We have a sales conference at the end of the month and instead of showing someone else how to do it, I’m just doing it myself because have I mentioned I have no patience? And it won’t get done right unless I do it?

OK, maybe I do care. Just a little.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


35 Responses to “Where I Try Not To Mention BlogHer More Than 10 Times”

  1. THAT is an AMAZING idea. I should try that comment excel sheet thingee, and then I’ll be able to remember what I want to say to people. You are brilliant.

  2. Genius. Pure Genius! 🙂

    Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..Everything Went Well!

  3. Angella says:

    The spreadsheet idea IS genius…and kind of funny 😉

    Angella’s last blog post..Don’t Judge Me

  4. Raven says:

    I have nothing to talk about other than BlogHer.

    I can’t even THINK about anything other than BlogHer.

    I might go freaking crazy before Thursday.

    Raven’s last blog post..brain is stuck on BlogHer, here have some pictures

  5. Nancy says:

    You’re cracking me up.
    I look forward to meeting you at BlogHer =)

    Nancy’s last blog post..Cuffs

  6. I vote Bacon shirt all the way at BlogHer!

  7. Melissa says:

    See now, I think your commenting spreadsheet is genius!! I gotta get me a bacon shirt and wear it to se Dr. Hottie next time…;)

    Melissa’s last blog post..Yeah, That Went Well…My Doctor Quit Me…

  8. slynnro says:

    Fuck it. What are they going to do? Fire you?

    slynnro’s last blog post..Cute Husband Award

  9. Katie says:

    BlogHer is all I can think about right now too, so I completely understand! And regarding your job, I would be so checked out too. I probably would have checked out as soon as I knew I was leaving.

    Katie’s last blog post..The Real Reason Jon Married Me

  10. Amity says:

    “I don’t think that poor woman has seen that much cottage cheese since the buffet at the nursing home.” You crack me the h*ll up. THANK YOU.

    Also, so with you on this: “I have reached a bad point at work. I have reached that point where I just do not care.” Hence the reason I’m commenting on your blog from work instead of creating my own spreadsheet for home use. 🙂

    Have an awesome time in San Fran.

  11. Doing the conference work yourself? Maybe they’re realize you are indispensable and keep you on. Start searching porn so they have no reason to keep you!

    thecoconutdiaries’s last blog post..You’re So Vain, I Bet You Think This Blog Is About You

  12. Sheri says:

    Wow. Excel huh???? Can you come over and maybe help me organize…..something????

    I’d probably feel the same way regarding work. Have you found anything else???
    Screw em.

    Sheri’s last blog post..I Am So Easily Amused

  13. Sarah says:

    Excel…you’re fancy. I think it’s a great idea! I speak for all my fellow comment whores out there when I say “whatever works to make you comment!”
    I’m new to blogging. I wish someone would tell me about Blogher.

    Sarah’s last blog post..Book Reviews

  14. ali says:

    i saved everything until the last minute too, of course. i DID attempt to pack last night..but that didn’t happen…

    also? the spreadsheet. Bwahahahah!

    ali’s last blog post..memory is a gift. cherish it.

  15. Michelle says:

    Your new post showed up at the top of the page! I didn’t have to scroll all the way down to find it!

  16. girlplease says:

    I better be on that friggen spreadsheet.

    And don’t feel too geeky about BlogHer. I’m going to a convention for 2 days as Cleopatra. Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

    girlplease’s last blog post..Kids say the darndest things

  17. Bailey says:

    Have fun at Blogher! Work’s going to be mighty boring at the end of the week with nothing to read.
    I feel your pain about work. I have 9 weeks left (but who’s counting) until my leave, and even though I’m busy, I am just not motivated to do anything. Maybe I should start the blog comment spread sheet too so at least I look busy.

    Bailey’s last blog post..Two in One Day!

  18. J says:

    I know exactly what that’s like, as Bethy (www.bethysworld.com) apparently told you yesterday. I come in knowing that I’m going to be fired soon. I saw an email from HR on my boss’ computer (I was not spying… well, maybe a little) that said, “please send along your description for the replacement.” I’m the only person who works under him, so there’s really only one possibility.
    While I can’t wait to get out of here anyway, I’m still walking around paranoid, thinking every little thing is a sign that I’m being phased out. It’s no way to live! Plus, of course, I’m not exactly productive. Hell, I’m commenting on a blog entry about job dissatisfaction, while at work!

    J’s last blog post..Where to begin…

  19. Laurel says:

    OMG, this spreadsheet has just increased my love for you by 300%! Soon you’ll be planning out your weekly outfits JUST LIKE ME.

    Laurel’s last blog post..Whip It Up #2: Chocolate Sour Cream Cupcakes

  20. Yes, wear the Bacon shirt to BlogHer. Make sure you get lots of photos of yourself with other people who will clearly be in awe of your fashion sense.

    Love the spreadsheet idea!

    Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Summer school

  21. The Muse says:

    Did I mention how jealous I am that you’re going to BlogHer and I’m not? Seriously. Jealous.

    And I’ve so had “short-timers syndrome” in the past, too. Its no fun. Not at all.

    The Muse’s last blog post..Gobbledy-gook

  22. Nic says:

    I LOVE your commenting idea. I am SO bad about commenting and worry that I often look like a negligent jerk in the blog community because of it.

    I’m ignoring all BH speak because of my SEARING JEALOUSY.

    Nic’s last blog post..What makes you interesting? Audience participation required.

  23. Amber says:

    A comment spreadsheet? I love it! And I also love the whole “undertaking blog-related activities and making it look like work”. Used to do that ALL the time…

    Amber’s last blog post..The One Where I Fall On My Ass

  24. Sheenah says:

    That is an awesome idea. I am totally neurotic as well, which may be why I think it is brilliant.

    Sheenah’s last blog post..Where Did The Indie Bloggers Go?

  25. Vanessa says:

    I LOVE you drivel in my comment box! ;-). Seriously, I can’t stop talking BlogHer too and it’s making everyone a little crazy. Can’t wait to see you on Thursday!

  26. Kristie says:

    You are better then me, I’d just say to hell with it and leave no comments. I’m lame like that.

    Kristie’s last blog post..Ah hell no

  27. Cara says:

    I’m totally okay with all of the Blogher talk, even though I am not going. Just one thing: what am I going to do whilst all of my fave bloggers are gallivanting around San Francisco and not keeping me entertained with tales of their fabulous lives?

    And the Excel spreadsheet is genius, sounds exactly like something I would do.

    Cara’s last blog post..Bean Look-a-Like Meter

  28. A. says:

    GAH! The remark about cottage cheese made me cringe.

    Of course, I bet this is karmic payback for the time I told my best friend that the cottage cheese she was eating looked like a yeast infection.

    A.’s last blog post..Sharing, But Not Like With Needles

  29. Missy says:

    Whatever dude, talk about BlogHer. I just got to SF and I’m waiting!

    Missy’s last blog post..BH&B: Tuesday 15th. Again.

  30. Chris says:

    See? I’m nice, I’m not even going to rag on your spreadsheet! I AM going to commiserate on the “Don’t care-ness” (I feel like E. Gorey’s ‘N is for Neville who died of ennui’ these days).

    At least you’re showing up! When I was informed I was being laid off, I BARELY did that!

    I’d even have a drink in commiseration, but I didn’t save enough WW points for it, dammit…

    Have FUN at ‘the convention that shall not be named’ 🙂

    Chris’s last blog post..The phone call

  31. Erin says:

    I’m so jealous of all of you going to Blogher! I wish I were going! 🙂 Drink one (or a lot) for me!

    Erin’s last blog post..Four Years – Part 2

  32. DM says:

    Oh my GOD! That is so brilliant! Brilliant! Because I’m not supposed to blog or comment at work and yet, I am still doing it. But if I did this comment spreadsheet, I would be able to leave the comments I want and not worry about the stupid keyboard at home that hates me and likes to think that keyboard is actually spelled kybrd. Is it my fault that you can’t keep up with my mad typing skills, keyboard? I think not!

    I am also jealous about you going to Blogher. I think it could be fun. If I actually knew anyone.

    DM’s last blog post..This is before caffeine

  33. Senor Beavis says:

    Just please promise to use your collective forces for good and not to write more Sex and the City knockoffs. “Daria had the perfect life, but there was one thing missing …” Except for Sex and the City — The Horror Movie. That would be awesome.

    /awaiting angry mob

    Senor Beavis’s last blog post..Dropping the Spirit Stick

  34. Lys says:

    I’m jealous. Y’all are at BlogHer and I had no idea what BlogHer was about until y’all started talking about BlogHer and now I’m green with envy.

    OK – I said that word enough – moving on… 😉

    As for the job, when’s the last day again?

    And SPREADSHEET?? Do share, Ms. Kristabella.

    Lys’s last blog post..It’s [Nordstrom’s] Anniversary…

  35. regan says:

    I love the comment spreadsheet! I think you need to make it downloadable from your site