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Bacon’s Vegas
By Kristabella | May 1, 2008
So I’m tired of listening to Bacon go on and on and on about how he wants to tell HIS story about HIS trip to Vegas. And I’m all “look, FOLDER, I showed photos of you already and took you on a plane to a different state, what more do you want?”
Apparently he wants to tell all his loyal readers HIMSELF about the time he had in Vegas. And don’t listen to him going on and on about how I’m a horrible selfish wench who didn’t let him go to a strip club, nay GentleBacon’s Club. (Can’t wait for the Google searches with that one.)
First off, Bacon spent most of his time here. Inside this bag. Under a cramped airline seat. (Note: Photo recreated tonight because Kristabella is too lazy to take a photo a folder in flight. In a bag. When there is alcohol to be drunk on vacation.)
Also Kristabella wanted to use this is a way to tell all of you that yes, indeed, that is a copy of Jen Lancaster’s new book that she just picked up this evening from the author herself. But she wanted to have Bacon tell all of you because he’s far more eloquent and she basically would have been all CAPS and SHOUTY and SQUEEEEEE!
Anyway, back to me, Bacon. And my trip inside a bag and subsequently on a hotel side table for two whole days.
So this is where Bacon normally spends all his time. Strewn about on a coffee table with unused napkins from the local Taqueria, remotes and notes for DINAO because let me tell you, Kristabella is a bit of a freak when it comes to those posts and she has to have those photos ALL BE EQUAL HEIGHT.
So you can see why Bacon was excited to get out of the house. And maybe see the sun! And if he was lucky, a booby or two. And did Bacon mention, NO FUCKING CATS FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS?
So Kristabella and her friend’s days consisted of buffets and sunshine, the pool at Mandalay Bay and buckets of Bud Lights.
Well, minus the kangaroo. Otherwise you would have seen this Bacon SIZZLE from jealousy. Because Bacon would like to have hung out with the kangaroo, since kangaroo and Hash Browns are tight, and you know how Bacon likes to “Hang Out With Hash Browns”.
Instead, Bacon just had to hang out in the hotel room, wishing he was out there enjoying Vegas and all the fun and sun and slushy drinks and half naked women.
So Bacon was stuck in that comfortably air-conditioned hotel room all weekend, getting awkward stares from the hotel’s housekeeping staff because WHAT? Haven’t you see Bacon drink beer before?
And Kristabella and all her friends were busy doing this.
And this.
And Bacon just wanted a little of this.
Bacon is hoping that his trip with Kristabella at the end of May to San Francisco is at least a little better. Like maybe he’ll get OUTSIDE the hotel. And maybe she’ll let Bacon come along for a ride on the trolley party?
But until then, Bacon will just have watch internet porn on Kristabella’s computer while she’s at work and “Tempt A Vegan.”
Topics: All Things Blogging, Bacon |
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:19 am
OMG, I am dying at the kind of hits you are going to get after this post “stripper photos” coming to mind first and foremost.
moo’s last blog post..Grayson, 21 months
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:35 am
That Simba is one handsome cat.
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:59 am
Poor, poor bacon. He’s like a hostage to your neglectful whims.
Beej’s last blog post..Fail Frenzy
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:49 am
Bacon rocks! Too bad that he gets attacked by a cat though. =)
Ashmystir’s last blog post..Photo Friday…from the heart.
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:06 am
Looking forward to the hits comments from you they should be good!
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:19 am
Ha! Bacon and strippers! (Strips of bacon!) Poor guy missed out on the damn kangaroo!!!
Danielle’s last blog post..Driving Miss Daisy
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:43 am
Poor Bacon - I hope San Fran goes better for him - tho I don’t think San Fran has as much *ahem* fun as Vegas seems to provide.
Lys’s last blog post..I Haz A Button All Of My Very Own…
May 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am
I wonder who decided that the world needed a stock photo of Saved by the Bell cast-offs enjoying poolside cocktails.
I hope the cat doesn’t destroy Bacon while he’s looking at porn.
Noelle’s last blog post..3.1 miles to glory
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:11 am
That Bacon sure is greedy… I think his Vegas trip was pretty SWEET.
Laurel’s last blog post..SFO 08, Part III
May 2nd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Bacon looks so wistful staring out that window….
Ree’s last blog post..May Day
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Tell Bacon he can come and hang out with me in Atlanta and I promise to take him to any of the finest establishments that Atlanta has to offer (so says Andre 3000)… Magic City, Pink Pony, Flashers…
The Muse’s last blog post..Braves-a-riffic
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Is bacon returning to SF in July?
slynnro’s last blog post..A Collection of Things.
May 3rd, 2008 at 7:11 pm
This was the most random and funny post I’ve read in a while.
Sorry Kristabella…I was talking to Bacon.
Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..In which I try my hand at stand-up
May 4th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Only two choices when googling gentlebacon…I’m surprised!
Scarlet’s last blog post..Stop Breathing
May 6th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Poor Bacon, being licked by a cat!
May 7th, 2008 at 3:13 am
ha, I stayed in the same hotel as you and bacon… with the same exact view. the waves in the pool were LAME.
kir’s last blog post..My space