DINAO Round 3 – The Heartthrob Edition
Posted By Kristabella on February 14, 2008
So I’ve been a tad non-existent on here the last few days. I’m battling a severe case of the winter blahs. Probably because is like a real Chicago winter and not one I’ve been used to for quite some time. Like when I was 12. Why did I move back from California?
I’m tired of the cold. I’m tired of wearing my ugly boots that do NOT go with anything I own. I’m tired of hat head and wearing a hat in general because I look like a fool. I’m tired of ice. I’m tired of brushing snow off my car every morning. I’m tired of you, Winter. You can go suck on some donkey’s balls.
I’ve also been mad busy at work which is causing me to have some weird stomach pains, which I have self-diagnosed as an ulcer or cancer. One of the two. It’s like some sort of alien baby is going to bust out of my gut and do a dance on the table a la Space Balls. And then add on to it my sudden onset of Narcolepsy and all of a sudden, you have cvndas’lbv f0ew-at4u29 jgdkla;mfke;wGNRWIPabnk’NGIRWPO][J’H.
Sorry. There was a bout of it right there. I can’t get enough sleep lately. This, too, I blame on winter. You know you’re in Chicago if people are blaming things on the weather. Bad knees? Winter. Runny nose? Winter. Third nipple? Winter.
And sadly it is only February 14th. That’s a lot more winter days. Two words – De Pressing.
On top of all that whiny, woe is me bullshit, my damn tooth is hurting me again. That means, yet again, the dentist got it wrong. FAIL.
So to warm me up, I have decided to make this week’s Death Is Not An Option the Heartthrob edition. In honor of all things cold and wintry. And also because it’s Valentine’s Day or something. Which only means it isn’t a day off from work and that my mom sends me a card because I’m sad and pathetic. But you know what? Pity money pays for the wine the same as regular money.
So on with the show!
(Refresher for any newbies is here and here. Feel free to vote for past rounds. We had a tie in the first round that Lizarita recently broke for me.)
Round 3
The Pirates of the Caribbean Edition
Johnny Depp vs. Orlando Bloom
The Good Will Hunting Edition
Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon
The Aussie Edition
Russell Crowe vs. Hugh Jackman
The Just Because They Are Hot Edition
Matthew McConaughey vs. Ryan Phillipe
The America’s Sweetheart Edition
Julia Roberts vs. Reese Witherspoon
The Kate Edition
Kate Winslet vs. Kate Beckinsale
The Gossip Girl Edition
Chace Crawford (Nate) vs. Penn Badgley (Dan)
The Entourage Edition (aka easy choice for Jules)
Adrian Grenier vs. Jeremy Piven
The Hot Musician Edition
John Mayer vs. Adam Levine
The Grey’s Anatomy Edition
McDreamy vs. McSteamy
So there you have it. A perfect way to end a week. And warm up all your insides.
About the author
Orlando
Matt Damon
Russell Crowe
Matthew McConaughey
Penn Badgley
Jeremy Piven!!! (MY HUSBAND!!)
Adam Levine
McSteamy
Jules
House of Jules
Johnny
Matt
Russell
Ryan
Julia
Winslet
Chace
Jeremy
Adam
MCSTEAMY
matt damon.
i used to think quite seriously that if matt damon just knew me, he’d love me. i almost saw him once in rochester, minn. he was hanging out near the barnes and noble where i worked.
Hooray, this just melted my cold winter heart!
J. Depp
Matt Damon
Hugh Jackman
Ryan Phillipe (although I don’t care for either)
Reese
Winslet
Penn (I don’t know these people, but by GOD he is smoking)
Adrian
Adam Levine
McSteamy
It was not a pity Valentine!
Orlando
Matt
Hugh
Matthew – THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reese
Kate
Penn – young hottie!
Adrian
Adam
McDreamy – no contest!
I know. I’m sick of winter too. Definitely ready for Spring. Oh, and I’ve been blaming every bad thing on winter too.
~Orlando~
~Matt – this was a hard one, but I’ve had a MAJOR crush on Matt since Good Will Hunting.~
~Russell – I wouldn’t want my man to start going all Fosse on me.~
~Matthew – Ryan broke Reese’s heart.~
~Reese – Julia would be fun too.~
~Kate W. – She seems a lot nicer than the other Kate.~
~Chase~
~Adrian~
~John – Although, he makes sex faces when he sings…wich is kind of a turn off.~
~McDreamy – without a doubt!~
So many awesome people to choose from Ugh Can I just take them all!?!
This one was HARD. Okay. Here we go:
-Depp’s teeth kinda creep me out. I’m going with Bloom.
-Damon. Hands down.
-Crowe is a dick. And as long as Jackman doesn’t grow those weird wolverine sideburns, I’ll do him.
-Mattie all the way baby!
-Can we make this a threesome? I love them both more than a fat kid loves cake.
-Beckinsale.
-I have no idea who either of these people are. But Crawford is HOTT!
-Piven.
-Levine. But only if he sings “Sunday Morning” when we’re finished.
-I’m probably the only person on the planet that doesn’t watch GA. I’ll go with McSteamy.
You know the answer to the first one, my dear Johnny
-I’m fucking Matt Damon
-I gotta go with Hugh (even with the gay speculation)
-Ryan (Matt M seems to be a dick and a stinky one-hot though damn him)
-Reese
-Kate B (mmmmmm Underworld HOT)
-I don’t watch this show so Dan?
-PIVS!
-John (please let him have the good hair and not the mongrel dog hair)
-McSteamy (too many memories of McDreamy as nerdy boy in Can’t Buy Me Love or Pizza Delivery boy in that other movie)
Okay…
Orlando
Matt – but only because I want to sing the I’m Fucking Matt Damon song. Trust me, I would sing it at the top of my lungs.
Hugh
I’m going to have to say Ryan because if Matthew says things like “We made a baby” in the press, he’s got to be more of an idiot in bed
Julia
Kate Beckinsale
Chase
Adrian
Adam Levine
McSteamy
Orlando
Matt
Hugh
Matthew (with duct tape over his mouth)
Julie
Kate Winslet
Chace
Adrian (I’ll leave Jeremy for Jules)
Adam
McDreamy
Orlando
Matt
Hugh
Matthew (only after he takes a bath)
Julia
Kate
Chace
Adrian (I know better than to pick Pivs)
John
McDreamy (of course)
Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!
Matt. I usually take dark over blond any day. But Mr. Bourne gets me with that sexy mole near his mouth. Yum.
Yes! Either or, please. Gotta love the Aussies.
Ryan Phillipe. Matthew needs to tone it down a tad. He’s everywhere. And he’s always shirtless.
Reese – she’s naturally beautiful.
Kate-Dub. Yeah for women with curves!
Penn.
Adrian.
Adam. He’s an “older and wiser” quiet sexy.
McDreams.
Ooh, this is such a good one! Here we go:
Orlando–why I love Johnny, Orlando just seems cleaner.
Matt–he didn’t sleep with J-Lo
Russell–he’s a dirtbag, but I’d bang him for sure
Matthew–I’d like to play his bongos!
Reese–Julia’s too Hollywood
Beckinsale–she’s always been one of my girl crushes!
Penn–Chace is prettier than me
Adrian–ohh, his hair!
Adam–the faces John makes when he sings scare me
McSteamy–we share the same last name! well, my maiden name at least
I’m starting an I Hate Winter club. I think I will burn my scarf and gloves when it FINALLY warms up.
This one was hard because I would answer both to most of these….
Johnny Depp-so brooding and mysterious
Matt Damon-I’ve loved him for-ev-er
Hugh Jackman-Wolverine!
Reese
Kate Winslet-Love her
Penn Badgley
Adrian Grenier
John Mayer-Oh.My.God
McSteamy
– Johnny Depp vs. Orlando Bloom
Johnny Depp. Anyone who can turn a lover tattoo into “Wino Forever” wins my heart. (Side note… my favorite name for a wine store is “Wine Knows.” Say it out loud and snort along with me.)
– Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon
Ben Affleck. He’s been my #1 on my get-out-of-jail free card since high school.
– Russell Crowe vs. Hugh Jackman
Hugh Jackman. So I can have my Wolverine fantasies. (What, TMI?)
– Matthew McConaughey vs. Ryan Phillipe
Gotta go with the former MamaPop Mascot, Matthew McConaughey.
– Julia Roberts vs. Reese Witherspoon
It’s all about Julia here. I’m not a fan of blondes. I don’t know why.
– Kate Winslet vs. Kate Beckinsale
Kate Winslet. Good heavens, she’s gorgeous. If I could have her figure, I’d be eternally happy.
– Chace Crawford (Nate) vs. Penn Badgley (Dan)
Eh, I don’t know. They both look way too young and way to “perfect,” especially Chace who probably plucks his eyebrows more than me. Fine, I’ll choose Penn.
– Adrian Grenier vs. Jeremy Piven
Jeremy Piven. It’s the dirty-boy thing. (Adrien is too dirty, what with the Parisite Hilton thing.)
– John Mayer vs. Adam Levine
John Mayer. Adam Levine just squicks me out.
– McDreamy vs. McSteamy
McSteamy. Again, we’re talking about who we’d get it on with… and something tells me, he’s pretty fantastic.
1. Johnny Depp…Orlando is a mere boy in Johnny’s presence.
2. Ben…I hate blonds, sorry Matt I know you’re disappointed you don’t get a shot with me.
3. Russell, he’s such a man…we could throw telephones at each other’s head and then have brilliant make up sex and nurse the goose eggs on our heads afterwards.
4. Matthew…I don’t do cheaters
5. Reese…I have a severe loathing for all things Julia Roberts. Reese is probably a bitch (just a feeling I get) but I won’t have the urge to feed her carrots like I would with Jules.
6. Beckinsale–she’s everything I dream of being…while I sit here with my hair unkempt and wearing a hoodie
7. They both look like they might want to raid my makeup bag a little too much for my liking. I pick Chase because the other one has duck lips.
8. Adrian. He’s adorable
9. Ick, they both make me want to run and get an AIDS test. I’ll take Adam because John Mayer’s lips are too purple-y…and that means that his penis will be too purple-y, kids I was a slut in my former days and it’s a proven fact that purple lips equal similar colors down below!
10. I will take them both! Oh no, I can’t? well then I’ll take McSteamy…even though he’s a little blonder than I like.
Johnny – the tiebreaker was that I’ve been in love with him since 21 Jump Street. Orlando – In love with him for a shorter time?
Matthew
HUGH – I luf him!
Matthew
Reese
Kate dub (props JR)
Chace? They both look like they are 12!
Adrian
Adam
MCDREAMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Depp
Damon
Jackman
Phillippe
Reese- I HATE JULIA ROBERTS. Remember that time I told you about the company that threated to sue me? She’s a spokesperson.
Winslet
Uh? Chace? Don’t watch that sow.
Piven (Both are totally gross to me though)
Levine- Why do people think John Mayer is hot???
McDreamy
Johnny (of course)
Matt Damon (although I like Ben much more in the post-Jennifer Garner years)
Hugh
Ryan (although, admittedly, I’d probably ask him mid-deed, “So, really, what happened with you and Reese?”)
Reese
Kate W. (because one of my all-time favorite movies was Sense and Sensibility)
Penn (his name is PENN which is awesome, no?)
Adrian (although, if it were Ari and not Jeremy, I’d be seriously conflicted)
Adam
McSteamy
Johnny (I am a sucker for 21 Jumpstreet)
Matt Damon (Affleck squicks me out – I think its the squinty eyes)
You mean I have to choose between Russell Crowe and Hugh Jackman? You’re evil. Hugh, I suppose.
Matt McConahey if I had to pick one (really, neither do anything for me)
Reese
Kate
Jeremy Piven
Andrew Levine
McDreamy
Generally, I like them dark. But Affleck does NOTHING for me.
Chace
Somehow that formatting got messed up. It can’t be the wine. Nope.
Johnny
Matt
Hugh
Matthew
Julia
KW
Chace
Adrian
OH PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME DECIDE BETWEEN JOHN & ADAM! I MUST NOT MAKE A DECISION ABOUT THIS!!!
McDreamy
Love your attitude! 🙂
Orlando
Matt Damon
Hugh (YUM)
Matthew McConaughey… although, poor Ryan. I would have picked him if he were up against pretty much anyone else!!
Reese
Kate Winslet
Chace, I suppose. Who are these two?
Jeremy Piven
John Mayer
McSteamy
– Johnny Depp (I think OB is totally feminine looking; I am also alright with being alone in this opinion).
– Matt Damon
– Hugh Jackman (Wow, NO competition on this one. . I find RC completely unattractive).
– Matthew McConaughey
– Reese Witherspoon
– Kate Beckinsale
– Chace Crawford
– Adrian Grenier
– John Mayer
– McDreamy
Fun game!
Johnny – because there’s something about all that black eye makeup …
Ben – because I have a soft spot for him.
Hugh – because he’s a family man. (and doesn’t throw phones at people.)
Matthew – because he is a caveman.
Reese – because she’s beautiful.
Beckinsale – because she’s beautifuller.
Penn – because he’s tall, dark & handsome.
Piven – because the other one is linked to paris.
Mayer – FUCKING OATH, MAYER!
McDreamy – because … oh i don’t know. can’t I have both?
Oh the hotness.
As long as McDreamy is on the page I can’t focus on any other people on there. I loooove him!
omg…what?
huh?
uhhhh….
dddrrooooooooollllll…..
winter? what time is it? where am I?
don’t let this dreamy post every be over…..
Okay, tag, you’re it!
Is it too late for me to vote? Good.
Johnny Depp, unless Orlando decides to die his hair blonde for me, and wear elf ears.
Ben Affleck. He’s the brains of that combo.
Russell Crowe. Hugh Jackman is gay.
Matthew McConaughey. Yummmm.
Julia Roberts. Cause I love her.
Kate Winslet. Cause she’s real.
Chase Crawford, even though I have no idea who he is and I would probably end up in jail for statutory rape.
Jeremy Piven. If Jules doesn’t kill me.
Adam Levine. Because John Mayer is an ass.
And McSteamy. Because. Just because…
Orlando. The Deppster is too fey for me.
Matt… the dimples, they get me!
Hugh, can’t deal with Russell’s anger issues.
Matthew, CAN deal with a loopy hippie boy. Bring on the bongos!
Reese, I just love her.
Winslet, cause she is SO good at acting
PENN! Dan Humphrey 4 Life!
Grenier… although I have a friend who went to hs with him and she says he’s a douche
Mayer, cause Levine probs has more STDs (they’ve both done J. Simp, though!)
And, of course, McDreamy. duh.
Depp
Affleck
Crowe
Matt
Reese
Winslet
Nate
Vince
Mayer
McSteamy