Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on April 19, 2007

Oh sweet merciless glowing white screen of WordPress.com! Oh how I’ve missed you so. I feel like I’m in one of those scenes you see when planes make safe landings and everyone is so excited to be on land (Land. LAND!) that they kiss the ground.

(I may have just hugged my monitor and gave the screen a little kiss. But since I’m a lazy whore, I just got a mouthful of dust. And now I have a lip print on the screen. Guess I’ll have to dust now.)

So I’m sure a lot of you are wondering where I have been. And why for almost the last three weeks you have missed your daily Kristabella fix. (Actually, pretty much most of you know.) And I think my temporary blog that I set up and never ever wrote on pretty much sums it up. The internet can be a crazy, crazy place bitches.

A lot has gone on in the last few weeks. A LOT. I’ve talked about it endlessly. Probably too much. And I’m not yet sure I want to go into all the details just yet on here. Basic story line is what you know – the blog was “discovered”, it was locked for almost three weeks, I did a little bit of editing and now I’m unemployed.

But as with most things in life, I’ve learned a lot.

• I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason and I know that this happened because bigger and better things are around the corner for me.
• I’ve learned, as I learned when I got the boot from the Niners (Must. Stop. Getting. Fired.) that you really learn who your true friends are when you go through this. I learned that there are certain people, one in particular, who couldn’t even take a second out of their day to drop an email or a text or make a phone call, people you’ve known for a majority of your life.
• And that hurts. And I don’t think I want to be friends with a person like that anymore.
• I learned that I have a really positive outlook on life. Despite all my profanity-laden posts and rants. And that’s a good thing. Because dwelling on all this crap would have done me no good.
• But I also think being positive hasn’t really given me time to cope with this big old life-changing event that took place. Which is why I probably teared up watching The Princess Diaries on Saturday.
• Sometimes you can overshare.
• I’ve learned that when I’m super stressed, I think about blog posts as I’m trying to fall asleep. And I’m seriously at my most most creative at that time.
• I also learned that if I don’t write down this creative genius, I wake up thinking things like “dusty lipstick?”
• I missed blogging and probably should have written posts to publish at a later date. But I just didn’t have the energy.
• And I may have been a bit fearful.
• OK, a lot.
• And maybe still am just a little. But what can they do to me?
• I’ve learned there are people in this world that need to get a thicker skin and just get the fuck over themselves.
• I still hate Changepoint.
• I’ve learned (and how I did not know this before, I have no clue) that Haagen Dazs ice cream is a little piece of heaven in a pint.
• And that eating it all in one sitting turns that little piece of heaven into one fucking huge piece of hell rolling around in my tummy. And oh my God too much heaven and cream in my belly makes me want to vomit on the cats.
• Oh, and I might eat out of stress.
• And to kill the little piece of sadness inside.
• Which is why my pants don’t fit.
• Stoopid sadness.
• I learned that I’m a lot stronger than I thought.
• I learned that it is completely believable when you tell people that you want to leave your job you’ve been at for three months because IT Consulting? Seriously? I’m PR/Marketing gal. What the fuck is EQAC? And SQL?
• Which? Whew. Because if I had to go into all of THIS? I would be working at Starbucks.
• Not that there is anything wrong with that. They even give benefits.
• I’m just a desk-job-loving-don’t-want-to-stand-on-my-feet-sit-in-my-chair-as-I-feel-my-ass-getting-bigger-throughout-the-day kind of gal.
• I’ve never had an HR exit interview. I have mine tomorrow. Stay tuned.

I should stop now. I had all these grand ideas that this would be like THE. BEST. POST. EVER!!! And it is not. I should have been all “I’m back. I’m unemployed. Please keep reading. And tell your friends. Slalom sucks.”

The end.

Oh, and today is my blog’s six month anniversary. Very fitting, I think. Happy Blogiversary to me!

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