Am Suck An Asshole
Posted By Kristabella on December 28, 2006
(I promise you, that title is not meant to be dirty. And I should change it. But it’s funny. I promise you in a few short paragraphs, you’ll see the funny too.) (Oh, and I can’t wait to see the hits I get off of Google with this one!)
And I was worried I wouldn’t have anything to write about today.
So I figured I would send out my farewell e-mail to all my work peeps today, in case I forget and don’t get around to it tomorrow. You know with all the crying celebrating. And the clock watching.
So I compose a very nice e-mail. Telling everyone how to get a hold of me. And that it was a pleasure to work with all of them. And that I’ve really enjoyed my year and a half here. And keep in touch. KIT! BFF! Have a kick ass summer!
Two seconds later, my phone rings. And I’m all “man, I’m so loved at this company. They just couldn’t wait to wish me a fond farewell.”
Um, no. Am an idiot. Who, despite years as a self-proclaimed proofreading Nazi, had a bit of a slip in my goodbye e-mail.
It went something like this:
I hope I’m lucky enough to work with suck great people at my next job.
(Suck. SUCK! Oh, the humanity!)
And then I crawled under my desk. To die of embarrassment. Because karma is a bitch and struck me down for making fun of my cousin. Although, mine was totally on accident. I know the difference between suck and such.
It seriously must have been a Freudian slip. I mean, it was a complete line of bullshit. I hope I work with much cooler people. And nicer. And younger. And people who don’t bitch about every little thing. And who all look like DD.
But to diffuse my error, I sent out another e-mail. To inform everyone that yes, I am already drunk. And will be under my desk the rest of that day. In the fetal position
Thank you. Here are all my red pens back.
About the author
How funny! That sucks.
Holy vagina that cracked me up! Totally something I would do.