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  • « It’s Time for the Grand. Prize. Game! | Home | Bittersweet Symphony »

    Am Suck An Asshole

    By Kristabella | December 28, 2006

    (I promise you, that title is not meant to be dirty. And I should change it. But it’s funny. I promise you in a few short paragraphs, you’ll see the funny too.) (Oh, and I can’t wait to see the hits I get off of Google with this one!) 

    And I was worried I wouldn’t have anything to write about today.

    So I figured I would send out my farewell e-mail to all my work peeps today, in case I forget and don’t get around to it tomorrow. You know with all the crying celebrating. And the clock watching.

    So I compose a very nice e-mail. Telling everyone how to get a hold of me. And that it was a pleasure to work with all of them. And that I’ve really enjoyed my year and a half here. And keep in touch. KIT! BFF! Have a kick ass summer!

    Two seconds later, my phone rings. And I’m all “man, I’m so loved at this company. They just couldn’t wait to wish me a fond farewell.”

    Um, no. Am an idiot. Who, despite years as a self-proclaimed proofreading Nazi, had a bit of a slip in my goodbye e-mail.

    It went something like this:

    I hope I’m lucky enough to work with suck great people at my next job.

    (Suck. SUCK! Oh, the humanity!)

    And then I crawled under my desk. To die of embarrassment. Because karma is a bitch and struck me down for making fun of my cousin. Although, mine was totally on accident. I know the difference between suck and such.

    It seriously must have been a Freudian slip. I mean, it was a complete line of bullshit. I hope I work with much cooler people. And nicer. And younger. And people who don’t bitch about every little thing. And who all look like DD.

    But to diffuse my error, I sent out another e-mail. To inform everyone that yes, I am already drunk. And will be under my desk the rest of that day. In the fetal position

    Thank you. Here are all my red pens back.

    Topics: General |

    2 Responses to “Am Suck An Asshole”

    1. Jenn Says:
      December 28th, 2006 at 2:58 pm

      How funny! That sucks.

    2. Jenny Says:
      December 29th, 2006 at 9:54 am

      Holy vagina that cracked me up! Totally something I would do.

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