Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on November 28, 2006

In January 2005 I was unfortunate lucky enough to have been “laid off” by the 49ers. And by laid off, I mean, they booted my ass out the door. Laid off was just the nice term they gave it, which I appreciate because when you get fired, it doesn’t sound so good when you look for another job. And they also showed me some respect finally, for putting six loooong years into the 4949.

Anyway, since that time I’ve had lots of experience in looking for gainful employment. It took me four months to find my current job. I’ve also been looking since July, so I’m in month four of my current search. Which I’m hoping will be ending soon.

I’ve had two interviews with two different places this week. And I’m hoping one of these is the one. Since I hate my current job. And the commute. And the pay. And would really like to do more than make coffee and mail shit.

I HATE looking for a new job. It is No. Fun. The job search in 2005 was really rough. My job at the 49ers was my first job out of college. After I graduated, I had no less than three job offers, but REALLY wanted the Niners gig. I had my choice and people were knocking on my door. I knew this wasn’t going to happen again in my life, but I also know how awesome I am and people should want me to work for them. Um, helloooo!

So I’ve been on a lot of interviews. Some good. Some bad. Some memorable. Some I wish I could forget. It’s good experience. When I first started looking after I moved back to IL, I was in bad interview shape. I had some phone interviews where I would have loved to see the face of the person on the other end. But I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason.

The highlight of my last job search was an interview with a head hunter downtown. They were looking to hire some sort of coordinator for the Jewish Society of Chicago or something (I don’t really remember the name. It’s not important. Jewish, though, is important.) So this head hunter is telling me how this job requires someone with a high attention to detail and someone who can multi-task. The following is an excerpt from that conversation:

HER: “They really want someone who is very meticulous… There are going to be name cards of very important people at events, big donors, and everything needs to be correct. They want a really good proofreader.”

(MY BRAIN: “We are SO money! It’s what I do best! Ask The Jenk.”)

ME (outloud): “That’s great. I’m a proofreading Nazi.”

(beat)

ME: “That’s probably not a good thing to say to the Jewish Society of Chicago (or whatever).”

HER: “Yeah, maybe don’t use those terms when you interview there.”

I didn’t get the job. But it wasn’t because of that. They thought I was over-qualified. Which I probably was. And they were paying squat. Bygones.

Monday, I interviewed with a prestigious University here in Chicago. It’s for an Alumni Relations position. I would pretty much be perfect for it. I mean, I epitomize what people want as an alumnus. I mean, minus these kinds of things.

I think it went well. The only problem is that I’ve been battling a cold. I stayed inside all weekend. So pretty much all the talking I did in the interview was the most I did since Thanksgiving. And I? Love. To. Talk. So my throat got a little dry and I started coughing. A little. I tried holding it back, and the tears were building up in my eyes because I was horribly in pain. And then I let a few loose. Which OPENED THE FLOOD GATES! It was like I swallowed a bug as big as my fist. I could not stop coughing!

Interviewer lady (who was a crazy starer and NEVER blinked. I think it was to make me uncomfortable. But I totally called her bluff. And stared back!) freaked. I mean, she tried to do it politely, but I think she was afraid I was going to keel over. She ran to the kitchen to get me some water. And then I was fine. But so much for coming off calm, cool and collected. Now, when she’s going through her notes, I’m so going to be the “coughing spaz” girl. Oh well. As my mom said, maybe that will make me stick out. In a good way.

Tuesday I had an interview downtown with a consulting firm. And I’m so in luurrve with this job. It’s an account manager position, which means I would get to do a whole bunch of things (read not bored) and would have some say and responsibility (read not secretary like current job). And did I mention it’s downtown? Like I DON’T have to drive?? And I can like walk around downtown Chicago and the River and the Lakefront on my LUNCH BREAK?!?!? I so want this gig.

And the lady I would be working for seems super cool. And is young. And like the whole office is young (read not the old people I work with now.) And I think they want to hire soon! So I could have a new job, like before Christmas. I am. So. Excited. People!

Wish me luck!

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