Posted By Kristabella on December 14, 2009
This morning as I was getting ready, I was listening to one of the local Chicago morning radio shows. A topic came up about a recent news story where a kid was at a house for a birthday party or something, and the kid grabbed a knife. And the adult of the house apparently slapped the kid or hit the kid and then screamed at the kid for picking up the knife.
So the discussion on the radio was about slapping a kid that is not your own and have you done it, would you do it, is it wrong to do it?
The one co-host of the show is a mom and has a young daughter, about four or five. She was adamant in the “never slap someone else’s kid” camp. And she thought, even in this situation, where a kid was wielding a knife, that you should NEVER touch someone else’s kid. And if you do, you should be sued.
As I was listening to this and all the callers calling in, with half being OK with the slapping, the other half NOT OK with the slapping, I started to think where I stood. Obviously there are a lot of things that go into the equation. If I was this woman at the party and some kid picked up a large knife, around many other children, my first instinct would be to snatch the thing out of his/her hand. Especially if that child’s parent didn’t happen to be attending the party. Would I purposely slap the kid, or the kid’s hand, in that situation? If kids were in danger, what would I do in that situation?
I’m sure I’m going to piss off all the mothers out there, but in a situation where someone is going to be harmed, especially someone I love, I’m going to do anything to protect my kid/loved one. I’m not a mom, but I have the Mama Bear instinct and it comes up when it needs to.
Last year I was at the park with my niece Skyler. It was actually her birthday and I was taking her to the park to get her out of her mom’s hair, while my SIL got ready for the party. And since I am not one to say no to any time with my favorite niece, I of course took her. It was a Friday afternoon and there weren’t a lot of kids at the park. Most of the older kids were still in school. It was just Skyler and another little boy, who was probably about her age, maybe a year or two older.
Skyler will talk to most any kid at the park. She’s definitely like her Auntie in that way. But this little guy, he was a little weird and wanted to do things like throw sand and wood chips and not actually play on the playground equipment. He was at the park with someone who appeared to be his nanny. Nanny was on the phone at the very edge of the park with her back turned, not paying one lick of attention.
Skyler and I played on all the slides and jungle gyms. I’m the best Auntie ever because I LOVE playing at the park! This little boy kind of followed us around. I felt bad for him because he was clearly craving attention. So I tried to include him.
At one point Skyler wanted to go on the swings. So I was pushing her and we were talking, you know, very philosophical discussions about Barbie and Dora and ice cream. While I was pushing her on the swing, this little boy came up and was talking to us. I tried to entertain him. He didn’t want to swing, so he just stood next to me as I pushed Skyler. Since Skyler uses her inside voice outside, I always push her on the swing from the front, so I can hear what she is saying.
So as we were chatting and swinging, the little boy starts talking to us. He’s talking little kid nonsense and I’m trying to amuse him. And the next thing I know, he picks up a really big rock, and looks like he’s about to throw it at Skyler’s head. At first I tell him to put it down. I tell him NOT to throw the rock because that’s not nice and someone can get hurt. I look over at nanny on the cell phone, yell louder to the kid to PUT DOWN THE ROCK. He clearly isn’t listening. And then I see him cock back his arm and aim that rock for my niece’s head.
And that’s when I slapped the kid’s hand. I slapped the rock out of his hand so it deflected and did not hit Skyler. And I would do the exact same thing in that situation if it happened again tomorrow.
I know enough moms and have been around kids enough to know that there are so many sides to scenarios like these. If I sent my kid to a birthday party and some other kid picked up a knife, I would hope the host would do something about it. And if slapping the kid’s hand is the way to keep all those other kids safe, then OK. But I also know that some people resort to slapping and screaming as a first line of defense, when that isn’t always the right thing to do.
But I also don’t believe that slapping someone else’s kid is always a bad thing. Again, I’m not talking about SMACKING or physically hurting a kid. I’m talking about an example like the one I mentioned above with my niece and the rock. A situation where I thought slapping the rock out of his hand was the only option of keeping my niece out of harm’s way.
I’m sure most parents are going to say they are so glad that it wasn’t their kid’s hand that I slapped a rock out of. And how dare I? But I stand by my choice. I stand by protecting my niece, first and foremost.
(This would probably be a good time to put a plea out to Ali for her to tell you I’m actually very good with kids! And I don’t actually go around harming kids on purpose! And that kids love me! RIGHT ALI????)
But this all makes me wonder, what is you opinion on this? What are your thoughts on someone else disciplining your kid? Is it because I’m not a parent that I even thought about, let alone actually went through with, slapping the rock out of that boy’s hand? What would you do in this situation?
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