Tough Enough
Posted By Kristabella on November 22, 2011
I consider myself to be one tough cookie. I mean, I have to be. I live alone and have to do everything for myself. Plus, I like to think that moving 3,000 miles away from home to go to college where you didn’t know a soul and then up and do it again four years later after you graduate shows a bit of toughness.
I’ve always been tough. I didn’t have the easiest upbringing and I kind of figured out at an early age that it is just easier to do shit yourself than depend on other people.
I also have a high threshold for pain, so it is very easy to seem tough because a few Advil will solve most any problem. This is who I am. I am tough and strong. Rawr.
So when I get a chink in my armor, it is very upsetting to me. Like I have some fatal flaw. It’s just not allowed.
This oral surgery has kicked my ass. I have had oral surgery one other time in my life, back when I was 22 and had my wisdom teeth out. It was the only time I’ve gone under general anesthesia and it was relatively easy. I was back eating solid foods like two days later.
But that was an easy surgery. My teeth weren’t impacted. All four of the teeth were actually in, so it wasn’t that bad of a surgery. I probably could have done it under local, but was not offered the option.
This surgery was not easy. My tooth had rotted and there wasn’t anything left above the gum line. And because he was doing a bone graft and later an implant, he had to make sure he was careful in removing the tooth (all of it) and preserve as much of my jaw bone as possible. This all sounds easy until the whole thing got started.
There was sawing the tooth in parts to remove. There was banging, BANGING, with what sounded like a hammer, to MOVE MY JAW BONE OUT OF THE WAY. Like STRETCH it, so there was room for him to like cut the gum and get the tooth out and I just passed out thinking about all of this again.
I expected this recovery to be like the last time. I expected to be fine by Sunday and had even planned a trip to Target. (HAHAHAHA!) I didn’t expect such debilitating pain. And I didn’t expect to be out of my pain meds before Monday. I didn’t expect this much pain AT ALL.
But I forgot the fact that I’m 12 years older. I forgot that this is a whole different, more intensive surgery. I forgot that I grind my teeth at night, which is giving my jaw not as much time to heal, since I’m constantly putting pressure on it throughout the night.
I went back to work on Monday. I was feeling OK. I wasn’t taking my Norco during work hours, so I had to rely on Advil alone. And Advil wasn’t doing much. Add to that the fact that I hadn’t been awake for more than four hours at a time and you can see why come 2 PM on Monday, I was not feeling good.
I told myself to tough it out. I’m tough! It was just a tooth extraction! I have had three days to recover! SUCK IT UP, PUSSY!
But I couldn’t. I caved. I left early yesterday and went home and slept. And iced my jaw and slept some more. And it was exactly what I needed. I tried to do too much, too soon. And it came back to bite me in the ass and my body told me it had enough.
I may have had to turn in my Tough Girl Card. But at least I was smart enough to go home. Because sometimes tough = stupid.
