Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on November 2, 2007

Day two and this writing every day thing totally blows. Especially since it is 11 PM, so I’m on a bit of a deadline.

This week really took a lot out of me. I was actually pretty good, going to bed pretty early (for me) almost every night. Because I knew that I had to be rather alert each day. Like I said yesterday, these conferences at hotels, away from the office, are more work. With more to go wrong. Which means me being on my toes at all times.

But then it causes this internal dilemma inside because more stress and?more awareness requires less partying. Which goes against my entire being. Especially since I do enjoy free booze. And this group is a group that I had already partied with and gotten to know really well.

I mentioned once how I hate to miss out on things. It’s my insecurities with always wanting to be loved and being a people pleaser. But with this group, with the two-month lapse in the time between sessions, this group got really tight. And they chat at least weekly and I quickly became an outsider. It wasn’t that they ignored me or didn’t invite me out. When I went out, I had a good time. But I always felt on the fringe, on the edge of the group. And they only wanted me there because I had the corporate credit card.

I’m torn because I am 30 and a professional and my job requires me to be in charge of the logistics of all these sales trainings. And like I said, I enjoy it. But when am I going to get over the need to feel like I have to socialize with everyone and try to be Corporate Semi-In Charge Girl AND Fun Drinking Girl at the same time? Because it is kind of hard. I like all these people from this week. I WANTED to hang out with them. And they are comfortable with me. Because they are honest with me about things. Almost to a fault. Like telling me you might go up to your room at lunch and throw a few beers back before the afternoon session.

But then again, it is a good thing that they tell me those things. They look at me as one of them, even though I am Corporate Girl. And by spending time with them, I tend to side with them. Because it goes towards the always wanting to please the group. Which is definitely frowned upon in Corporate World.

But my job, my livelihood, requires that I am on my game every day of these conferences. It doesn’t matter if I’m hung over or not. I HAVE to get my job done. There are no excuses. And staying out partying until the wee hours of the morning is not conducive to this.

It’s just this battle that I’m faced with. And this is the first time it really presented itself. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I already knew these folks, they already knew each other and I knew they were coming back and was looking forward to it. Which is rare because most of our trainings are not two weeks.

And maybe it had a little to do with Winky. Because even though I’m not obsessed with him like I was, there is just something about him. Even a guy I work with was like “I can totally see why you’d be attracted to him. He’s just so charming.” And he is. He’s smart. And funny. And there is just something about him that I am drawn to. It’s not as crazy as last time and I’m fine with seeing him every so often in the cafeteria. And believe me, I was really happy that things weren’t weird between us. And that he actually talked to me. And made me part of his group. Because I hate awkwardness.

I just wish I didn’t have the feeling that if I don’t go, I’m missing out. I mean, I didn’t go out Wednesday night and it was good. But the next day, when Winky was showing me all the photos of their costumes and telling me about how much fun they had and asking why I didn’t come, I was mad at myself for missing it. Even though I had a valid excuse. Because vomit was NOT part of my costume.

Basically, I just need to grow up. And I think my liver will thank me for it.

(Also, apparently the reason why I don’t post every day is because of the rambling.)

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, NaBloPoMo, Worky Work | 6 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 1, 2007

First off, I want to tell everyone that I did NOT go out for Halloween. I got the worst stomach pains and was puking most of the night. So I stayed in. And watched bad TV. And it was good. Because I felt like a million bucks this morning. But I did miss one of the sales reps dressed up as a woman. In a dress and fish net stockings. And if I knew that? I SO would have battled the tummy ache.

Secondly, this has been a really crazy week. And I’m so glad that they changed their minds and let me stay at the hotel this week for the conference. Having these conferences away from the office creates a lot more stress and a lot more work. That falls all on my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. This stuff is my calling. But it is also a lot of depending on hotel staff and I trust no one. Scully and Mulder told me not to.

So, I apologize for being non-existent in the blogosphere this week. I haven’t read one blog. And I’ve barely had time to read my comments. (I even won an award of some sort.) And usually, I try to reply to most of my comments. Because I want people to love me and say nice things about me. And they’ll do that if you’re nice to them. And also, I don’t get that many comments so is feasible. But I’m not ignoring you, just mad busy. Stuck in the back of a hotel meeting room working on my sudoku skills. (I suck.)

Thirdly, today starts NaBloPoMo. And I now have to post every day from now until the end of the month. Which scares me just a tad. Because I run out of things to talk about. And I hate to just drone on about stupid shit. I like to entertain. But every damn day? That is hard work people! I need to get to drinking! And crazy situations! And there must be some falling involved!

And I’m going to do it right. I am going to write every day. I may start a weekly photo post just to make one day easier each week. But I’m definitely not going to post ahead. Is against the rules. And I am scared of breaking rules. Am a total square.

So yeah. That’s all I have time for. We’re going to Second City tonight. And the bus is leaving in like 10 minutes. And I am IN CHARGE.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, NaBloPoMo | 5 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on October 31, 2007

I planned on writing this last year. But then I got the sore throat of death and was stuck in bed resting watching the Game Show Network.

Because I hate Halloween. Really do.

Now, I always dressed up as a kid. I was an 80s rocker most years because you teased your hair into a rat’s nest, sprayed some of that color shit in it, and you were good to go. I’m not creative so that was the best I could ever come up with. Mostly because I didn’t want to make any effort.

Some of you will remember that I mentioned my costume for this year in this post. And it is cute (I think) and I’m supposed to go out tonight and wear it. But I really don’t want to.

It’s funny because I’ve always said I’ve hated Halloween. I never dress up. Never went to parties. October 31st is just the day after Jason’s birthday in my book. (Happy belated birthday The Jenk!) Never went to The Castro in San Francisco. Which was good because you know, that means I’m still alive and am not a shooting victim. But see, I never knew why I had such a dislike for the stupidness that?is?Halloween.

It wasn’t until I thought about it and finally nailed it. See, back when I was probably around 8 or 9 or so, when my parents were going through their divorce, my dad promised to take us to a haunted house. And I was absolutely overjoyed. I couldn’t wait. A haunted house AND I got to spend time with my dad? Could it get any better for a nine year old girl?

Well, this was around the time that my dad was drinking ALL the time. Hence the divorce. So while me, my brother and my sister waited in line to get in the haunted house, my dad decided to pass the time at the bar next door. Not too big of a deal, I thought. Until there were scary men running at us with chain saws. And my brother egging them on and scaring me because, well, he was an older brother and a bit of an asshole. And all I wanted was to feel safe, you know like having a PARENT there, and I didn’t have it.

Add that to the fact that once we got to the front of the line, we couldn’t go in because we were KIDS and didn’t have the money and oh yeah, that’s our father passed out in the bar, we should probably go get him. Which meant we had to get out of line. And we didn’t get to go to the haunted house.

And THAT is why I hate Halloween.

Jesus Christ that was depressing. I SHOULD go out tonight. And start creating good Halloween memories. Even though I still really hate the whole dressing up thing. And my costume is stupid.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, All in the Family, Rants & Rants | 15 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on October 30, 2007

I know you are all wondering where I have been. Because you all know how much I drink. And really, would any of you be surprised if I was?passed out in a gutter or checked myself into rehab? Because I wouldn’t be.

We have a sales conference this week. And we are at a hotel, a hotel that charges $350 a day for wireless internet access in the meeting room, so I haven’t been online since Sunday night. Add that to all the drinking, and you get Kristabella passed out on the lobby couch looking like a cat shit in her mouth from all the red wine.

It didn’t help that I started drinking at about 8:30 in the morning on Sunday before the Bears game. And continued to drink the entire way through that debacle. And then took a 45 minute nap, checked into my SUITE at the hotel, and went back to drinking.

Or it didn’t help that I went to a going away party last night for a colleague at a wine bar. And proceeded to drink my weight in Zinfandel and eat a sliver of pizza. Which then led me to passing out in my room. At 11 PM. Which I don’t remember. Because when I woke up at 4:30, still in my clothes from the day before, with my cell phone in my hand mid-text, I had no fucking clue where I was. And why I was staring at the Chicago skyline. And maybe I should possibly set the alarm.

So that is my life. And why these sales conferences are going to accelerate the liver damage. Because I have to go out tonight with the group. And drink more free alcohol. It’s in my job description.

And it makes the interactions with Salesboy Formerly Known As Winky way less awkward. But hey, at least there’s no more winking.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, Hooch Hilarity, Worky Work | 13 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on October 26, 2007

So I was totally going to write my post today incorporating the Friday 5. Because, well, I was hoping it wouldn’t take much thought. From girl who can’t think a creative thought to save her soul.

Turns out, Friday 5 is my sworn enemy because the site? Isn’t working right now. And I? Am a little drunk. A God damned shocker, I’d imagine.

So I’d like to just point out that the thought that is consuming my mind right now:

Why is it that the guy I sat across from at lunch last Friday, like a week ago Friday, the dude I sat with for a good hour lunch, introduced himself to me tonight? Again.

Am I not memorable?

Seriously. I was with the SAME people from that?lunch. And buddy? There are not?that many cute, tall, young, brunette girls that work for this company. It’s a big company, but hello? Am memorable.

Don’t worry. I called him out on it when he left tonight when he was all “nice to meet you.” And I told him we met. On Friday.

And he declared himself an asshole.

As long as I didn’t have to do it.

And I declared myself the winner. Of the world.

The end.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, Hooch Hilarity | 12 Comments »
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