I Wish My Brain Had An Off Switch
Posted By Kristabella on September 8, 2011
I’m uber tired today. I did not sleep well at all last night. (Doo, doo, doo doo, doo.) Mostly because I tossed and turned worrying about anything and everything. (I was tossin’ and turnin’, tossin’ and turnin’ all night.) I hit the limit at 4 AM, when I was wide awake, staring at my sleeping cats, wondering if I should just get up and do something productive.*
I did not do this. I checked Twitter and Facebook. Checked my email. Looked through Instagram photos. Read my book on my phone. Finally about 30 minutes (and 10 boring Steig Larsson pages) later, my eyelids were heavy and I was back asleep.
Of course, as soon as my mind wasn’t focused on the book or Twitter or anything else, it went right back to stressing about work things and tables at the Expo booth and printing large posters and what will I wear to City Hall on Friday.**
Why is it so hard to shut off one’s brain? Do you have this trouble? Back when I first acknowledged that I had severe depression, back in 2004, it started with the sleep. My therapist gave me this cassette tape (no really) of her talking for some relaxation techniques. I’d listen to this tape on nights like last night if a) I still had a walkman and b) I didn’t hate that bitch and the sound of her voice.
Nine out of 10 times, I can turn my brain to mush. I can think of Don Draper or Eric Northman and my brain empties out completely and then I have lovely dreams. In other instances, I revert back to what I learned when I got hypnotized (that post is actually in a book!) in college to help with the relaxation and brain dumping. But usually I then think of that damn therapist who tried to sue me for like $180 dollars when there was an insurance snafu and I was UNEMPLOYED AND DEPRESSED.***
But unfortunately there are some nights like last night, where I just can’t get all that stress and worry to go away. Thankfully those nights are very rare. But it doesn’t make the next day at work any easier. And it makes my wallet lighter with all the monies spent on the extra coffee I need to function.
What are your tips to shut your brain off when you’re trying to sleep?
*I do not understand people who do this. You know those people who are all “I’m awake, might as well get some shit done!” and they clean the house and write a novel or get ready to go into work. I am not this person. I will never be this person. I will fight my body tooth and nail to fall back asleep at 4 AM, even if I only fall back asleep in time to hear the alarm go off and then hit snooze.
**I have a meeting at City Hall on Friday (not with Rahm), but what better place to MEET Rahm then at his office, right? So I therefore must look cute and professional and not a slovenly mess like normal. And this kept me up. YES IT DID.
***BITCH.
About the author
I don’t know the answer to this, but if you find it, let me know. I’ve been up since 4:30 am FOR NO REASON. (everyday for the past 3 weeks!)
Sorry, no help from me….I WILL be checking back here to see if anyone has any good ideas cuz none of the stuff I try ever works.
PS If you meet Rahm, make sure to get a picture of the two of you.
MEE TOOOOO. sleeping is one of my only real talents, so the fact that i’ve been so shit at it for the past week is really pissing me off.
although i think i finally realized last night it’s because my misaligned ribs are causing me so much pain i can’t fall asleep. which.. you know… it would be great if i had a cause to treat; but also: WTfuckingF.
Alice´s last blog post ..a post for the nosy
This happens to me a lot and this week alone, I’ve had three nights during which I’ve been awake for 2-3 hours when I should have been asleep.
For me, I get out of bed and go read in another room. I don’t get on the computer. I don’t clean. I just read something and try to relax.
Jen on the Edge´s last blog post ..Cubed
gosh, this happens to me every so often. Usually I do as you do, play on my iphone etc. But sometimes that doesn’t work and I sometimes get up and do stuff like blog but I try to stay in bed and get back to sleep but that usually stresses me out more.
Sensibly Sassy´s last blog post ..Sassy Sidenote: Who Knew?!
Ok. So I admit I’m copying and pasting this straight from a comment I made on Swistle’s blog a few weeks ago. But it is what I do when I can’t sleep and it generally helps faster than trying to will myself to sleep.
Describing it sounds goofy but it usually works pretty well to help me clear my mind if it won’t stop. I will count in my head up to 100 or 200 then backwards, fast enough that theoretically you can’t think of anything else. If my mind wanders, I start over. You can make it more mentally challenging if you count by multiples of whatever.
Or I’ll imagine a chalkboard. And I’ll imagine writing numbers on the chalkboard sort of writing them with my eyes (so behind closed eyes you are sort of moving your eyes to do the writing). Then after you write the number, you erase it and continue with the next number. Same thing as before, you start over if your mind wanders.
My method is similar to Andrea’s in that it involves counting. I count my breaths, but only up to 5 and them start over. It’s a meditation techniques I learned in college to deal with migraines. I have friend, though, who swears by mentally shoe shopping.
gosh, this happens to me every so often. Usually I do as you do, play on my iphone etc. But sometimes that doesn’t work and I sometimes get up and do stuff like blog but I try to stay in bed and get back to sleep but that usually stresses me out more.
I’ve read over and over that you shouldn’t get up and turn on the lights and especially don’t sit in front of the computer because that messes up the melatonin that makes you sleepy. When I can’t clear my head of all the work-related stressful stuff swirling around in there, I have to replace it with something else. So I usually call up memories of a fun vacation and mentally re-take the vacation. I re-do all the fun parts of the vacation like it was the first time I was doing it. And because I’m always planning the next vacation even if it’s years away, I’ll picture the things I will be doing once I get there. My mind is still busy but it isn’t a stressful kind of busy, which lets me fall off to sleep eventually.
Here are two techniques. My personal go back to sleep method is to try to feel the air in the room moving across my skin (face, whatever is not covered). In order to FEEL it, I cannot actually engage my brain in fruitless rumination. As soon as my thoughts wander, I go back to the mission.
My husband plays the alphabet game. So he picks a topic, like fruits and vegetable, countries, cereal, etc… and then goes through the alphabet thinking of all the fruits and vegetables that start with A, then B, etc…
All of this fails, Tylenol PM. 😉
I’m five days late (we were away) but I usually get up and get a glass of milk. 🙂
Angella´s last blog post ..This Is My Kind Of “Camping”
My brain is like that nine times out of ten. It won’t shut up, it won’t slow down, and it always kicks up a notch when I get comfy in bed. I really wish I knew the answer to conquering it. Taking long, slow, deep breaths helps, but it’s still hard when my mind is racing.
Coffee is kind of my best friend.
Liz´s last blog post ..Why I Just Deactivated My Facebook, and Why I Won’t be Coming Back