Grocery Shopping FAIL
Posted By Kristabella on October 18, 2010
I have a lot of friends that are foodies and love to make delicious things. It’s nice, because they share a lot of tasty recipes. Which is good for me because then I’m not eating the same five things all the time.
But I am not a foodie. Nor a chef. I am a strict recipe follower. I will only ever add something that someone else may have suggested in the comments of a recipe. Sometimes, I’ll get adventurous and add spinach or black beans to something to give me more fiber. I don’t experiment. But I can follow a recipe like no one’s business! Look! I freaking made challah! And I’m not even Jewish!
So keeping this all in mind, I wanted to tell you a funny story about my grocery shopping escapades.
Back awhile ago, I happened to innocently ask some online foodie friends about kosher salt and where one would find it in the grocery store. Because, as I told them, I LOOKED in the spice aisle by all the other salt, and it wasn’t there. So I asked them where else it could be.
They laughed and laughed and laughed. (In fact, they still bring it up. Note to self, stop sharing so much.) They sent me links to what it looks like, like I was a God damned idiot. I told them, “One, I am not blind. And two, I swear, hand to God, it was not where all the other spices were, not by the salt. I DID NOT SEE A BOX LIKE THAT PHOTO!”
A few weeks later, I was trolling through the grocery store and I saw the kosher salt. It was on the BOTTOM shelf in the Jewish food aisle. (I should have known. My grocery store is in a heavily Jewish neighborhood.) It was not easy to find, AT ALL! Also, I get that it’s kosher, but it doesn’t need to be by the matzah. Non-Jews use it too!
I will have you know that the kosher salt? Now by the other salt and spices, WHERE IT SHOULD BE!
Fast forward to last week. I was doing my weekly grocery shopping and I got to two items on my list – ricotta cheese and frozen hash brown potatoes. Two relatively common ingredients, right?
So I went to look for the ricotta by the sour cream and cottage cheese in the refrigerated section. No luck. So I tried the regular cheese aisle. Nope, not there. Then I tried by the refrigerated other Italian items (i.e. pre-cooked ravioli, sauces, etc.) NO. WHERE WAS THE DAMN RICOTTA?
Finally, a light bulb went off. I thought “it must be in the fancy cheese section!” So off I went to the complete other side of the store to look for my ricotta.
What I found was no ricotta. Well, there was exactly ONE container and it was like HUGE (way more than I needed) and it was whole-milk ricotta, and I was looking for part-skim. ONE CONTAINER! In the whole store! WTDF?
I said fuck it and decided to go get the last item on my list, the hash browns. “This will be easy to find,” I told myself! “They are in the freezer section! By the other potatoes! I could get some tater tots at the same time if I want!”
I was wrong. I walked up and down the two frozen food aisles about 13 times looking for frozen potatoes. I tried by the breakfast stuff, the vegetables. And then I walked up and down slowly a few more times just to make sure. This was not going to be a repeat of the kosher salt incident! I was going to find the damned hash browns!
They were NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!
“How could this be,” I asked myself. “There has to be fucking French fries in this store. This is Chicago. We like French fries and other deep-fried things!”
I then decided to walk every dam aisle again, thinking I missed some secret, hidden frozen food case. Clearly, I did not. This store is just fucking stupid.
So after work the next night I had to make yet another trip to the grocery store. This time I went to the Brand! New! store that just opened in my neighborhood. I walked in the door and went to the first frozen food aisle and saw this:
Then I turned around and saw I was also in the cheese aisle. And I found not one, not 5, but about 10 different kinds of ricotta cheese!
And that was the night new grocery store won my heart.
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Ricotta a fancy cheese… interesting! The first store sounds like a torture test! For different reasons, it reminds me of the store close to my house. There is only one nearby, the others I have to drive 20 minutes to reach. They are frequently out of common items, or have one or two items left. Then, the items you find, you have to look at so carefully, because half of the time they are expired. If I wasn’t so lazy, I would never go there.
hilary´s last blog post ..The third time is a charm…
I do not know what it is about grocery stores in Chicago but they are ALWAYS out of totally random, common items or they put them in the stupidest places. One time the Jewel I go to was out of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Completely out. Another day they were out of chickpeas. And yet another it was lettuce. And did you know they have TWO sections where they put vinegar? Seriously. I hate grocery shopping.
Erin´s last blog post ..Worlds Largest Corn Maze Race Report
The Kosher salt story will forever be one of my favorites.
You are hilarious.
I remember one time trying to find Craisins and thinking they should be where the raisins and other dried fruit are. Nope. They put them in the cereal aisle. WTF?
The new Dominicks?
Ree´s last blog post ..Another Photo from the ‘Hood
This sounds like me at Trader Joe’s. I play the guessing game until I’m pretty sure that they just don’t stock the item or they ran out (they don’t stock baking powder, and run out of olive oil). Of course the cashier’s first question is always “did you find everything today?” and I always want to break out hysterically laughing.
mjb´s last blog post ..Knit Blazer
Now I’m going to find out where Kosher salt is at my Jewel. Just so I know.
I find that the Jewel close to me is constantly pulling bs like that on me. That is why I avoid it like a plague and if I really, really need something from Jewel I will only hit up one very particular suburban one.
My grocery store was rearranged about a year ago and I can’t find ANYTHING. The pita chips are in the produce section, The butter is next to the alcohol, not with the other dairy and there are two cheese sections across the store from each other so you’re screwed if you check the wrong one. I am always doubling back to find something that I missed and feel like I’m the only person in the store looking around with a blank look on my face.
This post made my day.
Mama Bub´s last blog post ..Little Distractions
This reminds me of when I was working in a supermarket and they changed things up a bit. Q-tips left the health & beauty aisle in favor of the baby aisle, and cough drops also left health & beauty to go to – get this – the candy aisle. All the cough medicines soon followed. What a great message!
I don’t get grocery stores either. Almost lost my mind looking for Bisquick. It was in the baking aisle not with the pancake stuff. Of course I’ve used it to make other stuff, but it wasn’t where I thought it should be…and the craisins were in the baking aisle too. We have two Jewels near my house but I don’t shop either of them. They are expensive. I just save myself some time and shop at my favorite store–Tarjay….
I’m with mjb, my Trader Joe’s is always changing things around. And I also hate when they ask if you “found everything alright today”. I never say so because I know I’d be even more annoyed for them to take time and show me. Grr…
I love you and I love this post because I *get* it. God, do I get it.
Chibi Jeebs´s last blog post ..HYC- Week 42
Don’t feel bad, the kosher salt was also in the Jewish section of a Philly grocery store. It’s Salt and, for the love of all things holy, it had Rocco Dispirito on the cover – what makes them think that it’s a specialty food item! As for grocery stores with their change-ups, oy vey! Hate when they do that.
Glad you finally found a grocery store that stole your heart 🙂 (and remind me to send you some killer recipes 🙂 )
Lys ~ Cooking In Stilettos´s last blog post ..Fab Monday Yet Again – Cooking In Stilettos Edition
(new reader here!)
My husband and I just moved to Houston, and I’m totally feeling your pain about ridic grocery stores. In my old town, everything was arranged logically, and now, the cat food is next to the bread, and that just makes absolutely no sense at all. Glad you found a better store, I hope to do that too lol.
Heather´s last blog post ..Jay Z- I think I love you
Don’t alarmed, but I’ve never even heard of Kosher salt??? Anyway, I totally identify with this blog – I too know the joy of discovering a new grocery store that has everything you need, all conveniently located in close proximity to other obvious items.
Genevieve´s last blog post ..creative juices flowing
wait…kosher salt is not called that because it’s kosher. it’s because that kind of coarse salt is used to make meat kosher…should really be called koshering salt, i think. but it’s ALWAYS with the salt and the spices. It should not be in the kosher food aisle…
alimartell´s last blog post ..Meal-in-a-Bowl
Ok, what?! My mother was buying ricotta in a rinky dink grocery store in a small town in the South in the 1980’s and you couldn’t find ricotta now? Strange. Congrats on the new grocery store!
Omg-I have had that exact same problem finding kosher salt!! I started yelling! It is ridic. Another weird item I had trouble with is…vegetable stock. Chicken stock as far as the eye can see.