Advil as an Appetite Suppressant

Posted By on December 17, 2007

I love my blog. I love that I’ve met all these people all over the world, people I consider friends even though I’ve never met most of them, people that I will say inappropriate and stupid things to when I do meet them. But with the very public expression of my thoughts, and learning that the hard way, I have learned that there just are some things that are off limits. Even though writing about them and talking about them would really help and be very therapeutic.

I have two posts I want to write. I want to write about how as I get older I choose my friends based on common interests (read alcohol) and I have a hard time being friends with people from 10 years ago that I have nothing in common with. Because the only reason we’re supposed to be friends is because we were friends years ago?

I want to write about how I hate liars. Especially when it is the last person on Earth that you thought would lie to you. And that person doesn’t even get why it is a big deal.

But instead of writing about those things, I’m going to write about my toothache. Because it is all I can think of. And I haven’t figure out if the pain in my head is all from my tooth, or if someone blindsided me and whacked me in the side of the head with a lead pipe in the conservatory. It had to be Col. Mustard. Or that shady Professor Plum.

So I’m having a root canal on Thursday. Because that’s the only day they can do root canals. Apparently it is dental law. I happen to have this Thursday off. Can you think of any better way to spend your day off? Because I can’t.

I had a root canal when I was younger. About 20 years ago. It was the only time I ever cried at the dentist. They stuck a shot of Novocaine right into the nerve and I felt it in my toes. It rocked me to my soul. And hurt like a son of a bitch. And I have a high threshold of pain.

This current tooth has been bothering me since early November. I was in there right before Thanksgiving to have my dentist put some filling stuff on the outside, thinking the exposed root was causing the problems.

It wasn’t.

My tooth has been getting progressively worse since Thanksgiving. It alternates between stabbing pain and throbbing. In the last week, I’ve been consistently popping four Advil every four hours. And lest I forget to take them, the throbbing and the stabbing reminds me. It even wakes me up. So it is time to get this shit taken care of.

But I am freaked the fuck out. The pain the last time I had this done was out of control. And I don’t really want to go through that again. I’m assuming that things have changed in the last 20 years and that maybe they don’t have to stab you right in the nerve to get you numbed up completely. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to it any more. That and it isn’t cheap to have this shit done to your teeth, even with insurance.

So in the meantime, I’ve lost my appetite because my stomach is full of ibuprofen. And probably small pieces of my stomach lining. Well that’s one way to lose the baby burrito weight.


Can I pass this off as a new fashion trend at work?

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to β€œHey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


13 Responses to “Advil as an Appetite Suppressant”

  1. Jules says:

    Aww man! The only thing that sucks more than dental work (and being out of alcohol) is a liar. Eventually with dental work, you’ll get some kind of pain management injection. I hope you’re feeling much better on Friday!
    House of Jules

  2. oh cmon, it’s not like we were drinking rum and cokes and that it REALLY was whiskey we were drinking, and i just told you it was top shelf rum that tasted like jack. it all came together so fast i wasn’t sure if it was happening, besides, why would i lie to you about something like that? in any case, don’t be too freaked out about thursday… all will be fine.

  3. christa says:

    i’ve had a root canal in my recent dental history. it was two hours faster than they said it would be, and hurt less than they said it would.

    and it gave me an excuse to drool for about two hours afterward, rather than just recreationally. later in the night i drank myself silly.

    i did not, however, have a crown put on the tooth and have come to regret that. my tooth broke a few months ago, and i got to have new dental work done. but everytime i eat a dorito, i wonder if i am one tasty morsel from another dental emergency.

  4. alyndabear says:

    As a terrified wimp, I know the dread that comes with visiting the dentist – but I’m sure the technology has changed since the last root canal. I’ll be thinking you, though.

    (And if you need to vent about the first two things, am only an email away!)

  5. Lori says:

    I’m sorry you have to have a root canal. I’m not a dentist fan either, so I will be thinking of you on Thurs and sending good thoughts your way.

  6. Mary says:

    I’m sorry you have to get a root canal. I had to do that a year ago and it sucked. But it didn’t really hurt and I got to watch a DVD while he did it. What hurt the most was the price (i didn’t have dental insurance at the time) One word of advice: no matter what, do not look at the tools he uses! Trust me!!

  7. carrie says:

    Oh man, that totally sucks. I’m sorry you have to go through that. πŸ™ I hope this doesn’t mean that you are going to miss the cookie party. It won’t be the same w/out you! Plus Jen L. rsvp’d that she is going to come! πŸ™‚

  8. Julie C says:

    Aw, man… Sorry to hear this! Hope you are feeling better soon and the dentist works some magic on Thursday.

    If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been taking days off work lately to write 15-page papers, and things of that nature… Perfect way to spend a day away from the job. Arrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! πŸ˜‰

  9. Christina says:

    First of all – we were friends 10 years ago and still are…thank GOD we’ve been alcoholics together for so long:)

    Second of all – tell your dentist you are WAY APPREHENSIVE about the procedure and you need an Rx for a valium so you can take 1 (or 12) before the procedure. That’s what your fello alcoholic does anyway;)

  10. Lela says:

    Tell the assistant to talk to keep you entertained. As a Dental Assistant myself, I can tell you that Root Canal’s are boring as hell and he/she will be looking for something to keep them awake.

  11. Katie says:

    Aww, I feel so bad for you. I had a root canal several years ago and I don’t even remember the novocaine shot but I do remember the dumb ass dentist knocking on my tooth with a rubber hammer asking, “Is this the one?” Twice, he did that twice! I think my teeth coming down on his hand and my howl convinced him.
    And as for not being able to write about what you really want to write about, oh, man, do I hear ya. Hang in there, hon! πŸ™‚

  12. hotfessional says:

    Sweetie, see if they’ll give you gas first. Either that, or get someone to drive you and do a SHOT or two first. πŸ˜‰

  13. I have DEEP slightly irrational fears of the dentist. But I must suck it up and go soon. It’s been an embarrassingly long time.

    I hope you’re doing okay.