Tales From The Bus
Posted By Kristabella on June 26, 2008
Recently I started taking the bus to work. It mostly was because of the rising cost of gas and the fact that a 14-mile commute each day ROUND TRIP cost more per week than taking the bus. I hit the limit of what I was willing to spend on gas each week.
There were some other bonuses to it too. One, it is better for the Earth and two, it forced me to actually move my fat ass more steps than just leaving the couch to go fill up my wine glass or stuff my face with cheese because I had to walk to the bus stop.
My bus ride is interesting, to say the least. I start on the Western bus up near my house on the north side of Chicago and take it deep into the heart of the south side of Chicago in one of the not better neighborhoods of the city.
The first few times I took it, I would look at all the different passengers – the kids riding the bus to school, the people heading to their jobs, the homeless people you can smell before you get on the bus. I am a nosy son of a bitch and I like to look at people and judge and figure out their story.
I stopped doing this rather quickly. People don’t like when the white girl stares at them. They stare right back because what the fuck is she doing on this bus in this neighborhood anyway? And then I get frightened.
So I learned to just keep my nose in my book, whether or not I’m actually reading. In fact now I wear my sunglasses at all times as to not make eye contact with anyone.
It has been fine. I take it during rush hour with other people from my office and generally it is just people trying to get from one place to another.
There was the one time when I was deep into reading Jess Riley’s Driving Sideways (if you haven’t read it yet, go read it now! It is SO good!) and was engrossed in the book, but would be pulled out of my concentration every now and then by the conversation going on in the back of the bus. Two really ugly women were going on and on about their babies’ daddies. And then they were talking about their C-sections, which prompted one MAN to stand up and say “I don’t know how you do it. I could never have babies.” Exactly. You have no uterus.
I go back to my book. A few stops later, I’m trying so hard not to pay attention. But I hear “there’s a lot of hot white guys in thie neighborhood. I’d fuck ’em. I wouldn’t marry ’em. I’d fuck ’em though.” As if someone was asking.
At this point I stopped reading and glanced over my shoulder at these two rather obese women, one missing a few of her front teeth, the other wearing black socks with flip flops, creating a camel toe effect, and wondered silently to myself the kind of men that slept with these women.
Thankfully they got off soon after that because I really wanted to read (seriously it took THAT stuff to stop me from paying attention to the book).
My only other weird encounter was this week. A normal looking, albeit possibly drunk or stoned, man got on at a stop after mine on the way home from work. He was dressed in khakis and a polo and had the paper with him to read. He sat in the seat in front of me that just happened to be perpendicular to my seat, so he was half-looking at me.
I was just sitting there, minding my own business, engrossed in my book (Jennifer Weiner’s Certain Girls), when I feel penetrating eyes burning a hole in my soul. I glance up, not moving my head, and look at this man who just got on. He has half-turned his torso so he is full on staring at me with his mouth half open. STARING. MOUTH AGAPE. Like for a good few minutes. It was creepy.
He finally turned back. Then, a few minutes later, SAME THING. Was he checking to make sure I didn’t go anywhere? Was he wondering when God sent this angel down from heaven to sit next to him on a bus? Was he a closet fan of Jennifer Weiner?
And then he passed out. About 20 minutes later the bus stopped at Fullerton and he got off. I watched him as he got off and stood on the street corner looking like he didn’t remember how he got there, like he forgot the past 20 seconds of his legs moving and propelling him off a Chicago bus. I was just thankful he was far enough from my neighborhood. And that there was no more OPEN MOUTHED STARING.
We’ll see how tomorrow’s ride goes.
:::
In other news, I got my hair did tonight. I asked for something a little different, a little red in my hair since Jodifur just did it and I want to be like her.
Close up for the color. What do you think?
It’s a different cut, a little, kind of shorter, but I like it.
This is my “I shall ask you using an eyebrow raise if you like my sexy new hair, even though the humidity has fucked it up already and I’m additionally trying to conceal my double chin” pose.
And now looking at these photos it probably looks no different to any of you.
Bacon says he likes it. But he’s just trying to butter me up for more Bacon-centric posts.
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Love the new cut and color … you look purrrrr-dy.
Nancy’s last blog post..Come Hither… Step into My Boudoir
The most horrifying thing about all of this? Socks with flip flips. It’s actually making my toes curl just thinking about it…
I think you’re really brave to take on the bus, though. I hate all forms of public transport, which makes it a good thing I never actually have to go anywhere.
Love the hair 🙂
Amber’s last blog post..Stuff. And nonsense.
Both pictures are good, but bottom picture is really good.
I love it. Adorable!
It’s a bit longer than mine, but a great cut!
jodifur’s last blog post..Parenting in the DC ‘burbs of Montgomery County means…
Love, love the color. Maybe the drunk stoner dude was entranced by the beautiful red locks?
So you’ve never told anyone on the bus to shut their fucking meat face?
Dingo’s last blog post..Phone Company Grass
I have TONS of CTA commuting stories but the one that comes to mind is from my youth…think 17 years old youth…riding the bus from downtown and sitting and reading my book. The bus was really crowded so people were standing….when I glanced up from my book, what should be at my direct eye level but an exposed penis. Yep. Crazy dude on the bus must have decided Woody needed some air cuz there he was in all his (small) glory. Freaked me out. I no longer EVER glance up from my book.
LOVE LOVE the new cut and color. VERY becoming!
People are weird, man. I’ve stopped trying to figure them out. (OK, not really. Don’t you KNOW me by now?)
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I LOVE that color on you. The red goes very well with your skin tone.
I need to work on my “concealing the double chin” pose.
I like the hair. It’s very pretty. And I can tell it’s shorter, very flattering.
Okay, so I have hair envy. snort.
Ree’s last blog post..One Hit Wonders
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the hair — the cut and the color. And I think the new color really brings out the color of your eyes. Very nice!
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..Open house
hair = hot.
shit…does this mean i need to get my hair done before blogher. there’s way to much to do…
ali’s last blog post..swiper no swiping, ali is naked, and the mouths of babes
I like the color and the cut!! Dr. Hottie is going to want you for sure now!! 😉
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Cute hair! I have never taken the Western bus myself but I can only imagine the crazies. Last year on the Ashland bus some crazy guy showed me all of the “treasures” (aka crap) he had found-a ring, a white sox hat, a necklace, etc.- and then told me I had fat fingers so the ring probably wouldn’t fit me. Once on the Clark bus, there was a guy passed out and as the bus made a short stop he fell out of his seat and his 40 oz. rolled away from him. And then there was the bum who mooned me getting on the Braodway bus. And those are just 3 stories from my 10 years as a CTA rider!
Bailey’s last blog post..The World of Reality
I have so been thinking about bussing to work, but you just talked me out of it.
LOVE THE HAIR! The darker color is amazing on you, and I love love love the red. Good choice!
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Love the color AND the cut. They both look very good on you!
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I love the color and the cut. They rock!
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ha! oh the p-trans. many stories. also, the bus is faster than the El? i guess it depends on where your apt is and where your work is. I have the wonderous glory of getting to not only ride a bus to work but that is after I transfer from the Metro (train). Oh, I get both honey. I have had fewer crazy experiences on the train than on the bus personally. When I lived in NYC i was convinced the buses were exclusively for the mentally handicapped because that is how many of them were on the bus everyday. (i know that sounds terrible of me, but it truly was that bad.)
Love the hair.
michele’s last blog post..I’m gonna burn this shirt
Cute cut and I like the color – but wait! Aren’t your eyes blue? That color makes them look so green!
I like the red in your hair!
My bus to work goes down Fifth Avenue, so there are usually a lot of fancy people on it. Good to know that the fancy people still take public transportation!
Laurel’s last blog post..Today I Discuss Facebook…
I really like the color. And taking the bus, but I haven’t taken a bus in a long time.
Noelle’s last blog post..Someone’s getting mailed to Abu Dhabi
Oooh, I like the red.
JRM’s last blog post..Left Foot, pt. 2
Ohh…I like the color! I’ve been feeling that my hair is a little mousey right now and I’ve been thinking of trying to spice it up. Maybe I’ll copy you.
Allison’s last blog post..He Don’t Look Like The Boss
I LOVE the new color! I am so tempted to do some color on my own because it’s so dishwater/dirty blonde and B-O-R-I-N-G!
As for the open-mouthed guy, OMG…that would totally creep me out for the rest of the day! Ewwwwwww!
Evil Genius’s last blog post..Thank You, Hooked on Phonics!
Love the hair color! And ew, open mouth druggy guy needs to never get on the bus again. I ride the train into downtown Portland each day for work and every single day I think “ok, now YOU’RE the oddest person I’ve seen … that is, until tomorrow.” Public transpo baby, gotta love it.
Serendipitous Girl’s last blog post..S.S.G.F.D.
The color makes your eyes pop (lucky!). My husband is white so maybe the ladies on the bus heard his little mantra to me: Once you go white, you’ll never walk right. Though, he has some standards about the girls he pokes and I’m pretty sure the C-section scars, missing teeth, and socks-with-flops are all deal-breakers.
thecoconutdiaries’s last blog post..Inked
I love it!
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah’s last blog post..Consider Me Stimulated
I really like your hair.
I love the bus. But my boss is almost exclusively suburban commuters, with the occasional college or high school kid thrown in randomly.
-R-‘s last blog post..Plates = Best Present Ever
Ooo I love the hair cut! I was thinking of getting my hair cut like that but now you are the third person I know with that cut. And you know how I hate to conform!
Lela’s last blog post..Registration Renegade
Oh, it’s cute!! And the color is divine!
And, dude – good job riding the bus and all. You’re much braver than I.
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I love your hair! It’s a great color on you!
Stop!-you do not have a double chin!
Danielle-Lee’s last blog post..Woohoo!
Love the do. Can totally see the difference! Love the color…I put a little red in mine too..for sass.
Sarah’s last blog post..Goin’ To The Drive-In
Love the color babe! The length looks good too.
So great to have another fine, upstanding citizen join the ranks of CTA-ers 😉
That’s a hott color!
I can’t read on the bus-not that I ride it, but I can’t read in the car either. Or the metro.
Scarlet’s last blog post..Hot Stuff
Public transportation is always interesting. I highly recommend an iPod. Love the hair color too!
That’s a great color on you, it really makes your eyes pop.
Melina’s last blog post..In the Most Unexpected Places
Lookin’ HAWT, girlfriend!
Angella’s last blog post..Keeping My Cool
Bus rides these days are something else. I should do a post on a Greyhound ride my wife and I took several years ago from Denver to Rock Springs, Wyoming, when I was convinced the driver was having a heart attack while he was driving. Your hair color looks very nice!
Coast Rat’s last blog post..WEEK #17 – MISSISSIPPI GULF COAST BLUE BIRD UPDATE
I did the cut & color. I, too, am a fan of of the going red, which I’ve been doing on and off for a long time (since I started coloring my hair at 14)… there have been moments of blonde, chocolate brown and near-black.
If you haven’t gone red before, know that it washes out more quickly than any other color, it is also more photo-sensitive than other colors, and every time you add red to it, it helps it retain the color better than before, especially if you’re not using a shade lighter than your natural hair color.
If you are familiar with the clan of the red-heads, then happily ignore the advice that you likely already know. 🙂
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I love red hair. You look smashing!
Kristie’s last blog post..Fuckity Fuck
LOVE the color.
The guy was a mouth-breather. Don’t date mouth-breathers. Your life will be filled with Wal-Mart and Monster Truck Rallys. Just say no.
girlplease’s last blog post..Code help
You look great. Love the hair. I’ve been on Chicago public transportation once. That was enough for me. You are a brave woman.
I love the new cut and color, and also: you’re adorable.
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Love the new cut and color! I can totally tell it’s different in the pics 🙂
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