Where’s The Day Celebrating Childless Spinsters?

Posted By on May 11, 2008

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. And as my sister told me, I am allowed to celebrate today because I’m a mother. A mother fucker.

(I know you’re all scratching your heads wondering how we could even be related.)

In return I broke the plate I was washing and went to STAB her in the eye with the pointy piece of plate in my hand. Until she reminded me she brought the American Idol Karaoke game for the Wii. And all was forgiven as I sang out my anger on a lovely rendition of “Come Sail Away” by Styx.

We also had ribs for dinner, which was a great way to stuff my childless, spinster face. And celebrate the moms all at the same time. Nothing says “Thanks Mom!” like a full slab of ribs and a baked potato.


In other news, I wanted to let everyone know that my five-mile walk for the American Cancer Society is next Sunday! And I’m still $130 away from my goal. So I’m now resorting to BEGGING to get me to my goal. Because the $1,000 milestone is a lovely cooler as a prize, which I will be raffling off to all of my blog readers that donate! (Read original begging here.)

So do you see that lovely, cute button over there on my right-hand sidebar? Click there and donate! It can be $5 or $10 or whatever you want to give to such a great charity like the American Cancer Society!

Thanks to all the lovely people that have donated! I am AMAZED by all your generosity! I’m so excited to walk my ass off for your donations. I’m planning to plan hilarious photos along the walk to share with you next week. Possibly after an Irish Coffee or two.

So if you can, please help me and click here or on the button on the right to help me get to my goal and help kick cancer in the balls!

Plus, you might also win a cooler! A cooler that will hold beer or other refreshing adult beverages.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


12 Responses to “Where’s The Day Celebrating Childless Spinsters?”

  1. Dingo says:

    As I was standing in line for my bagel this morning, some woman asked me if I was a mommy. That’s what she said, “Are you a mommy?” I said yes and showed her my pictures of Dingo Girl. She was not amused.

    Dingo’s last blog post..West Nile is not a Vacation Destination

  2. Jenn says:

    I rounded out your total donations. I am anal and needed a nice round number!! Cheers to being anal!

  3. Ree says:

    Y’know what I hate about that Come Sail Away song? Singing “Come sail away” about seventy times in a freakin’ row.


    Ree’s last blog post..Sons

  4. I just made a donation to the cause – – I’ve lost too many dear friends to cancer, and would like to see it kicked to the curb!

    Good luck with the Walk! 🙂

    Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day

  5. deemarie says:

    Yeah, I’m a non-mom too. We went to a Brunch yesterday and all moms got flowers. The guy asked if I was a mother, and I said no. He looked at the huge bundle of flowers in his hand, the clock (which said there was only about 20 more minutes before the brunch was over), and said, “Sorry. Moms only.” Nothing like a day to remind me once again that I’m not married, and have no kids… (my nephew/sister did get me a certificate for a pedicure!) “Come Sail Away” would have totally made my day better! 🙂

    deemarie’s last blog post..Random Stuff

  6. slynnro says:

    I like your sister.

    slynnro’s last blog post..Mothers and Sons and Dads and Bears. OH MY!

  7. Raven says:

    Yikes! I’m a total slacker and owe you a donation!

    I’ll get that done today. Kick my ass if I don’t.

    Raven’s last blog post..state of the Raven (aka me)

  8. Laurel says:

    I need to donate, too! Please don’t stab me with a broken plate!

    Laurel’s last blog post..Updated Blogroll

  9. jen says:

    Did you sing in in the style of Eric Cartman (which the only way I hear the song in my head now…)

    On the very quiet fight to CA, the Cartman version of the song came on, I put one of my earbuds in my friend’s ear and was rewarded with a loud guffaw making everybody turn around to see what was so funny.

  10. Jenn says:

    I’m not sure if it was worse to get the “oh, you’re not a mom? then you sit here” seat. That was RIGHT NEXT TO the hairy 3-piece band. With the drummer who managed to drum with a ciggy between his fingers. OR watching ‘the band’ ogle the table of college girls in booty shorts and Uggs who were sharing a pancake.

  11. Candy says:

    I just donated 10% of what’s in my account. Please don’t stagger and die when you see the donation of $1.23 from Candy.

    Candy’s last blog post..Things That Keep Me Up At Night, Part Two.

  12. Vanessa says:

    I’d like the cooler to be filled with wine please! Red wine if I may be so specific!