Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on November 6, 2006

This post doesn’t really have anything to do with the Bears. But they did just lose to the Dolphins. And I’m not too upset by it because we knew they weren’t going undefeated. And really? Who fucking cares if they go 13-3 and lose in the first playoff game? (see the Indianapolis Colts)

So I’m here in the land where Disney threw up. Kids. Everywhere. That’s pretty much all that are on flights to Orlando. And the crazy people in Milwaukee (more on the wedding later in the week) traveling with four kids decided to give their offspring Cinnabon. At 7 AM. The sugar! On a plane! At the buttcrack of dawn! For the love of Pete!

They were actually well-behaved. Or I was still drunk from the wedding so I didn’t even notice them. They sat right behind me. The one girl who was about 7, was trying to draw a map of the United States. And she got so upset. “Mom, it’s SO hard to draw! I can’t dooooo it!” (Nice and whiny and full of tears. And by the way, that kid is SO me.)

All I can say about being here is…….the weather is beautiful. I’m not in the hotel where everyone else is. I’m part of the overflow team, down the street at the Ghetto Western. The Hilton is MUCH nicer. Only good thing about the skanky hotel? A certain tall, yummily handsome sales guy who is also staying here with me. (Please wait while I wipe the drool off the business center keyboard.)

Hopefully we’ll have more to share on that later in the week. And maybe my attitude will improve. But I doubt that. Is it Thursday yet?

Category: General | 1 Comment »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on November 4, 2006

Because they do this EVERY time I bring out the suitcase.

Yeah, they know I’m leaving. And they. Don’t. Like. It. One bit!

(And I apparently had it on some weird setting which is why it’s all blurry and shit. Photographer, I am not.)

Category: General | 2 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on November 4, 2006

I’m back bitches! And better than ever. (Not really. But I am feeling a ton better. Thanks to all my well wishers!) I’ve come to realize when I’m not 100%, I’m not funny or creative or any of those kind of things. (Hell, I’m not really all that when I AM 100%) Which is part of the reason I haven’t written as much lately. But I can’t keep the fans waiting any longer!

Oh, and my job sucks.

So while I wait for my nail polish to dry, here are just some random things I would like to share.

• I have no news with the “rude” neighbor on the first floor. Although, I did run into a few people in the laundry room and was SO wanting to ask if they live in my building.
• The new chick that moved in across from me out my back door has a hammock on her back porch. Now, I’m not against hammocks. But she moved in like 3 weeks ago. And this, is not hammock weather.
• Said hammock chick also sits out on her balcony and smokes and has scared the bejeezus out of me a few times already.
• The Bears game last Sunday was AWESOME! For numerous reasons.
  1. Da Bears kicked ASS! In orange jerseys (which I haven’t decided if I like or not, but they always win against the Niners in orange, so orange it is!)
  2. It was 24-0 at the end of the FIRST quarter
  3. They play the Bears fight song (Bear Down, not to be confused with the U of A fight song, which is called FALL Down Arizona) after every score. Which means, after a 41-10 game, I now know the words. Only took me 29 years.
  4. The Niners got spanked. Woot!
• Hotel bars are awesome! I HAD to hang out last Friday night in the Niners team hotel to pick up the tickets. And I had a grand old time (minus watching the fucking Cardinals win the World Series.) I met some really cool people, including this dude from Boston, who should be reading this blog. (I’m a shameless self-promoter. It gets worse after a few Blue Moons) (By the way, cool people usually translates to “bought me drinks”)
• Speaking of Blue Moon (it’s a beer, people), I can’t drink it anymore. The last few times I’ve had larger quantities, I’ve gotten really sick and have had the WORST hangovers. Well, maybe it’s because I’m getting old.
• I’m blaming it on Blue Moons!
• But damn they’re tasty
• Uttered by someone (maybe me) at work yesterday: “If I wasn’t already a drunk, this place would drive me to drink.”
• Also uttered by someone (after standing ALL day putting binders together and walking back and forth) “These boots are NOT made for walking! Suck it Nancy Sinatra!”
• I’m addicted to the Game Show Network. Although, that’s not really a new thing. I filled my bed-ridden sick days with hours of Card Sharks, Super Password, Family Feud and The Match Game ’74. I love it so much I could blank.
• There are weird, weird commercials on during daytime TV. But on GSN? NO political ads. Only Montel telling people about some prescription bus for people who can’t afford medicine????
• Speaking of political ads, I’m a horrible American. Since I’m out of town on election day, and didn’t think ahead, I won’t be voting in this election. And that makes me sad.
• But then again, there isn’t much to pick from here in IL. It’s like choosing between shoving pins in my eyes, or having sex with Dr. York. Pins in the eyes it is.
• I am going to a wedding in Milwaukee tonight. I’m not all that excited about it. And it’s not because of the wedding. It’s because I know that after the good times at the wedding, I’m on a plane to Orlando. For work. To baby sit grown men. Inside. And it’s 80. IN NOVEMBER.

Well, since I’m going to be gone for the next five days, I should probably pack. And get ready for this wedding tonight.

Hopefully I’ll have some down time and some good stories to share from Orlando! Peace out!

Category: General | 1 Comment »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on November 1, 2006

I know you’ve all been sitting there, constantly refreshing going “when is there going to be a NEW post?” or “Where the hell is all the funny?” or “Is she dead?”

Well, wait no more.

Oh, and I’ve been home sick. With strep throat and a touch of the flu. Isn’t that loverly?

And you know what? I’m a horrible pussy when I’m sick. I mean, where’s your mom when you need her? Oh right, at work, earning money to loan me because I don’t make any. But I do whine a lot, so that’s the sole reason why I didn’t post. Who wants to read that shit? And because it hurt to move. And swallow. And you know what, don’t tell me to drink more fluids. I KNOW this. But it huuuuurts! (See, still sick = still whiny)

But that’s where I’ve been. It hasn’t been writer’s block (hell to the no! In fact, the opposite because I actually have some stories to share from the weekend AND I didn’t even have the energy to post yesterday on how much I HATE Halloween!)

So stay tuned because not only am I sick, it’s also the busiest week at work with the huge sales meeting next week. My job is totally ruining my short-lived blogging career.

Category: General | 2 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on October 28, 2006

So I went down to go out and grab some dinner this evening and as I walked through the building’s foyer, I noticed there was a note on one of the mailboxes. So of course, I had to check it out and see if it was for me. It wasn’t. It was for the person on the first floor. And here is what it said

You are still rude and a bad neighbor. In case you had forgotten.

I don’t even know what to say about that. But I am totally hoping to run into him/her and see what the deal is.

Awesome!

Category: General | 3 Comments »
Tags: