I Always Misspell Traveling With Two L’s
Posted By Kristabella on July 15, 2009
I’m currently traveling for work. I’m on a one-day trip to Pittsburgh. I’m staying at the hotel that was built for Stretch Armstrong. And I’m very confused because it is an hour later here than it is in Chicago. And I keep looking at the clock on my laptop thinking it is still early and if I can knock this post out right quick, I can get to bed SO EARLY. And then I realize it’s actually an hour later and then I make a frowny face.
The sad thing is that this has been going on ALL NIGHT.
So this morning before I left on my journey, I read Metalia’s post about her most recent work trip. And then I laughed at her running through the airport, arms flailing and thought “that will never be me.” I also thought “remember to bring socks to the airport for the security line.”
And then fate decided to slap me on the ass like a newborn and teach me that laughing at other people is NOT NICE. Because I arrived at the airport today with 30 minutes to get through security and get to my gate. And WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE TRAVEL ON WEDNESDAY AFTERNOONS?
I made it. Even had a half-second to get some Vitamin Water at the little market to re-hydrate myself from all the SWEATING I did while I sat in traffic praying not to miss my flight. WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE ROAD ON A WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON?
But I forgot about the socks. Which reminds me, I should wash my feet before I go to bed. Because ewwww.
Not only are there a lot of people traveling in the middle of the day mid-week, they are also all stupid people. And now I’m going to write letters to them to make myself feel superior to them.
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Dear People In Expert Travelers Security Line,
You are NOT experts. People go in this line because it is supposed to move quickly. Stopping asking the guy in front of you about his fucking laptop and just take your damn shoes off and move this party along. Some of us are running very late for their flights!
Sincerely,
Pissy Girl With Dirty Feet
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Dear Family Who is on the Moving Walkway Because It’s Fun and You’re Lazy,
There are RULES to the moving walkway. Same as escalators. Walk left, stand right. Learn it, live it, love it. And get out of my fucking way. And don’t ask me “would you like to get through?” YES! Because this isn’t a damn carnival ride for your overweight daughter. It’s a device to get us from Point A to Point B FASTER than just normally walking. It’s not a damn airport ferry.
Move to the RIGHT next time, lazy people.
Angrily,
The Girl Who Used to Think She Was the Laziest Person on the Planet
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Dear Creepy Married Guy on the Plane,
Stop. Just STOP. Stop flirting with that girl. Mentioning your wife every five seconds does not make your shameless flirting OK. In fact, it almost makes it worse. It means you are actually thinking about your wife while you smarmily chat up that girl who is TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.
You’re welcome,
Girl Sitting Behind You Giving You the Evil Eye
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Dear Asshat in the Seat Next to Me,
How hard is it to turn off your iPhone? No, really. I don’t understand why you couldn’t have it off for the 10 minutes it takes to take off and reach a safe altitude. Yes I know the rule is bullshit because we used to have our electronic devices on the whole flight during our 49ers charters. But still, the fact you are HIDING it means it is WRONG. Just shut the damn thing off. Turning it to airplane mode IS NOT THE SAME. The power is still on, genius.
Also, PUT YOUR SHOES BACK ON, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! And if you’re going to take your shoes off, DO NOT CROSS YOUR BARE FOOT OVER YOUR LEG IN MY DIRECTION! I DO NOT need to see your gross, dirty bare-ass feet. I also DO NOT need to have them anywhere close to me. We are in a confined space. IT IS TOO CLOSE. DIRTY, BARE FEET TOO CLOSE TO MY PERSON! ABORT! ABORT!
Grossed out and thankful you didn’t crash the plane,
Kristabella
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Dear Pittsburgh,
Stay Classy.
Love,
Kristabella
About the author
So. The two L’s? You make this Canadian girl proud.
All of the “Dear” letters made my day.
.-= Angella´s last blog ..My Pop Culture Confessions =-.
Oh dude, you know how much I love travel letters. Have fun!
.-= Ree´s last blog ..Honest Rebellion =-.
You should have found a way to ‘spill’ a drink on the asshat and his nasty ass feet. There are just some places wehere it is NEVER ACCEPTABLE to remove your shoes.
In Australia, travelling is spelt with 2 l’s.
.-= jen´s last blog ..Post holiday post =-.
Yup, two L’s is the Queen’s English… 😉
.-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Oh, my aching head! =-.
There were two kids and their mother in the row in front of me on my PHL to PHX flight. Kids were roughly 10 and 7. How did they keep the kids entertained? BY playing Uno. Loudly. With a talking Uno toy thing. Oh, and by opening and shutting the window shade and pressing the light buttons and futzing with the air. As we were deplaning the mother asked where the kids had their DSis and all I could think about was how much I wanted to hit that mother because there was something they could have been doing silently.
.-= Nic´s last blog ..Faith =-.
Loved the letters!!! What an interesting afternoon you ended up having!
Oh, and EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW on the feet. I was picturing dirty man feet with hairy toes. EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!
I am sooo about THE RULES of moving walkways. They are not amusement rides. They are methods to get across a long-ass terminal, but SOME PEOPLE do not get it and it just infuriates me. The same goes for escalators, move to the side if you are stationary so I don’t have to yell, “EXCUSE ME!” just to get around you.
.-= kirida´s last blog ..imagined conversations with a three-year-old =-.
If I had known THAT’S where you were going, I would have told you to ask about this pub that’s set in an old Catholic church…..
.-= Jules´s last blog ..Oh, What a Night (and Day) =-.
Soooo….when people do not get out of my way on the moving sidewalks, I do not feel bad if they get run over by my suitcase.
.-= fifi´s last blog ..Top Chef Tweets, #2 =-.
Wow, you had one heck of a trip so far. I haven’t travelled (two ls) for work in ages but I used to go at leawst every 4-6 weeks and there would be some issue. I am so glad we have a corporate mandate to restrict travel.
.-= christina´s last blog ..17 days left =-.
The bare foot Asshat would git an awakening from me for sure!
.-= The Urban Cowboy´s last blog ..Cowboy Bowling =-.
I also misspell traveling with 2 Ls. Canceling usually gets 2 Ls from me as well.
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That =-.
You’re in MY time zone now, bitch!
Ain’t it great?;)
.-= Scarlet´s last blog ..A Rush Of Blood To The Head =-.
All of this makes me so look forward to dealing with the Atlanta airport next week (week from today! Weeee… in fact, I’d be arriving in an hour).
Try hanging out in the airport for 6+ hours, trying to get on a standby flight… and dealing with the airport law of averages when it comes to the number of idiots you’d encounter.
eww I hate seeing bare feet in public! Anytime I see a coworker sans shoes I freak out.
yuck yuck yuck.
=)
.-= Cis4Connie´s last blog ..A quick prayer before I go =-.
everything should have two l’s
just sayin’
.-= hillary´s last blog ..I Woke Up In A Strange Place Music So Loud That I Spilled All My Beer =-.
KJ, we should totally travel together. You are the only other person on the planet who appears to be as much of an idjit magnet. We could have a contest: “Who can attract more outrageously WRONG and un-PC people in the next 30 minutes?!” Sorry your trip is so trying. Traveling for business sucks under the best of conditions, and you don’t need to acquire a foot fungus to show you are a warrior. p.s. – WTF is up with making you remove FLIP FLOPS to go through airport security? Is the TSA senseless enough to think that the alleged shoe bomber dude could make a firecracker out of a pair of RUBBER BEACH SHOES???!!!
And just think, I get paid to deal with traveling assholes like that! You forgot to mention the complete IDIOTS that sit/lay on the floor in the terminal! I cannot tell you how much that makes me want to puke. On them of course.
I ALWAYS misspell travelling too. I think that’s the way we should spell it in our slacker club.
So, wait, misspell has two S’s but travelling only has one L? That’s fucked up.
.-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Violated For My Own Good =-.
On my last flight, I had the lucky fortune of sitting in the exit row. The woman across the aisle was very thankful too, seeing as how she preferred to get out of her seat and sit on the floor during the flight, consistantly tripping people walking up and down the aisle.
yes, ma’am, the double l is THE Canadian way. travelling. 🙂
also? I cannot handle people who take their shoes off on airplanes. EW.
.-= ali´s last blog ..when it rains, it pours. and apparently, the old man sleeps. =-.
man-o-man do i hate feet. period.
.-= gorillabuns´s last blog ..tell me what you want, what you really, really want =-.