Brotherly Something

Posted By on October 19, 2011

I used to live with my brother and his family. Did you all know that? When I moved back to Chicago from California, after getting the boot from the 49ers, I lived with them from March to July. Noah and I became super close, I got to know my SIL so much better and I was the first person to know about little Skyler, who was gestating in my SIL’s belly at the time. (She is now six, people. SIX!)

So from time to time, I still get mail there. Most of it is not important. It’s usually free address labels from charities or credit card offers. Nothing I need. And since it has been SIX YEARS and I’ve lived in two places since then, he usually just throws it all away.


So last night I get this text message with a photo from my brother.

“I tore this up and then saw your name. Thought you could use it.”

It was this credit card offer that had a really nice balance transfer offer he thought I might be interested in, since I’m trying hard to get out of debt. Nice, right?

The picture? Looked like this:

(Clearly I replicated it. And wrote “words, words, words” on a piece of paper and tore it up.)

I replied:

“Oh thanks! Is there some link or code you can email to me for the offer? Or, never mind, just hold on to it and I’ll pick it up this weekend when I’m over! Thanks!”

He wrote back:

“It’s in the trash. Look at the picture. The link and number are clearly legible.”

At first I thought he was kidding. Because really? Hahahahaha! It’s a torn up piece of paper and a photo message on my phone! You’re kidding, right? TINY, TINY PRINT!

But he wasn’t.

I wrote back:

“Wow. OK. Thanks.”

Thanks for thinking of me enough to tell me about a piece of mail you tore up that you were already throwing in the trash! What’s next? Telling me about the dirty Kleenex you just snotted in that you will be throwing in trash can?

I bet there is a Hallmark card just for this. Maybe I’ll get it and take a crap in it before I give it to him.


About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


7 Responses to “Brotherly Something”

  1. Mahnee says:

    That is soooooooo Mike!!!

  2. Alice says:

    Haaaaaa oh boys. So “helpful.”
    Alice´s last blog post ..milestones

  3. Andrea says:

    Ha! Important enough to tell you about it, but not important enough to save it from the trash.
    Andrea´s last blog post ..13 things about me

  4. alimartell says:

    You replicated it!

  5. The EOB says:

    Classic…I had this a few weeks ago…Me (on a Monday): When did you mail my new running shoes? Him: Tomorrow Me: My race is on Sunday Him: Oh

  6. Suzanne says:

    I love that your bog brings me back to childhood when things were so mu ch simpler yet, oddly, much the same.

  7. Angella says:

    Your brother sounds like my sister… 🙂
    Angella´s last blog post ..What I’ve Been Doing Instead Of Sleeping