Asking For A Junk Punch

Posted By on January 31, 2011

On Sunday, as I was relaxing in my house in my comfy Santa Claus pajamas, and watching as much Dexter as I could, there was a noise in the hallway outside my front door. It was the sound of my neighbor’s kid squealing about something. This is a pretty common occurrence. He’s probably 3 or 4 and is a happy, cute little kid. I see him with his dad sometimes as I’m leaving for work in the mornings.

But then the squealing didn’t stop. The kid was apparently running up and down the hall, screaming and yelling and just enjoying himself. I figured he was waiting for one of the parents to catch up with him and then he was going to go in the elevator and the noise, it would stop.

I was not so lucky. Because apparently the neighbors decided that it was too much effort to let their kid go play outside, even though it was not snowing or raining or sleeting outside. I mean, it is winter, so it wasn’t warm, but it was fine enough to have the kid go to the park or run on the sidewalk and NOT in the hallway outside my living room.

So I did what any normal person did, I went to Twitter to complain.

And then I asked the Twitter parents if this was something they would allow their kid to do. The consensus was a resounding NO. And look, I know kids need to burn off energy. If there were three feet of snow outside and no way for this kid to run around, I would be OK with it. But that was NOT THE CASE.

After 30 minutes, I just got mad. And instead of saying something to them, I just decided to make passive aggressive comments, loudly, from my couch, hoping they would hear. And turned up the TV and hoped that the little tyke was outside my door when Deb Morgan when off on one of her motherfucking, curse-laden tirades.

And even after that didn’t help, shockingly, I made idle threats to Twitter and Facebook about punching my neighbor in the throat and promising to blast my loud rap music at midnight that night, complete with explicit lyrics.

In reality, all it did was piss me off and force me to get off my ass and get dressed and go to the grocery store. So there’s that.

But still. A condo building hallway is no place for your kid to play soccer. Our front doors aren’t soundproof. I can hear it ALL. It’s annoying! Especially when I want to relax on the weekend. And what if I was trying to sleep off a hangover? It’s not just you and your kid that live in this building, people!

The next time it happens, I will take action. Or not. Let’s be honest, I will be doing the same damn thing.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


8 Responses to “Asking For A Junk Punch”

  1. Mama Bub says:

    In a shared hallway? I’m terrified that someone will find my kid annoying even when he’s behaving. I would have been mortified.
    Mama Bub´s last blog post ..Five Little Confessions

  2. You can be direct and speak to the parents or you can be indirect and speak to the building manager and ask that he/she ask parents not to use the hall as a playground. Either way, you should not have to listen to kids running up and down the hallway.
    Jen on the Edge´s last blog post ..How much is correct

  3. lceel says:

    Ambush the little fucker with your Nerf Gun.
    lceel´s last blog post ..2s Day

  4. Kate says:

    I have a similar situation going on, only it’s not an indoor hallway but a sidewalk. Yeah, yeah, kids should be allowed to play on the sidewalk! But this sidewalk runs directly against the front wall of the building — NO space between — and thus they are screaming and riding their bikes just inches from my front windows. Dislike. I am going to mention something to the building managers. There are plenty of other, better places to ride bikes around our building. Hmpf.
    Kate´s last blog post ..In Which I Declare My Own Delurking Day

  5. Angella says:

    Your site wouldn’t load for me yesterday, so I made sure to come back today. 🙂

    Those parents are being irresponsible and not teaching their kid about respecting others. Yes, kids can be loud (see: my three) but you also need to teach them that other people might not want to hear the chaos. We live in a house, which is different, but whenever we travel and stay in hotels we make sure the kids aren’t running everywhere or yelling to each other and disturbing people.

    Angella´s last blog post ..Motherhood Isn’t A Competition

  6. Kerri Anne says:

    I second the Nerf Gun idea.
    Kerri Anne´s last blog post ..Portrait Of A Year Upcoming

  7. Rhi says:

    This used to happen at my old apartments. My strategy was to open the door and glare.

  8. Don’t ambush the kid. Ambush the PARENTS. Maybe jello in their mail slot? Along with a warning letter about “Next time, it’ll be Blooodddd!!!” muwaahaaahaaaa!!!
    Tracey – JustAnotherMommyBlog´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday- OneTrue Media Style