My New Roommate

Posted By on June 7, 2010

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, this is probably not news to you. But for the rest of you, I am currently housing a 21 year old college grad in my spare bedroom. Who is that, you may ask? It is my half-sister Alix, her of the recent graduation.

So I’m like 11 years older than her. I babysat her when she was a newborn. I still think of her (and her sisters) as those little girls. But now they are adults and driving and of legal drinking age and MAN, I am OLD!

She was living in an apartment in the city with a few roommates. One of them happened to be her ex-boyfriend. He liked to sometimes hit her. So I stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. As much as I love living by myself and being able to sit on my couch with no pants on and spend hours and hours of my days watching crap reality television and picking my asshole, my comfort and lazy lifestyle was not a priority when it came to her safety.

So last Thursday, I had a roommate for the first time in six years. Although, it isn’t really like a roommate since she’s not paying rent. But I am going to make her clean for her shelter. Mostly because she likes to clean and I do not.

It is going well. I’m as shocked to admit that as you all are to read it. I actually had a very busy weekend so I wasn’t home a lot. And she was working so she wasn’t either. So she didn’t get a real gauge on the amount of TV I watch.

Thursday night we moved her in, got some dinner and I introduced her to the magic that is The OCD Project on VH1. You know she’s only my half-sister because she doesn’t watch ANY reality television. WHO ARE YOU?

She ended up passing out on my couch before 9. So we didn’t get to have the “no boys/no sex/no parties” chat. If I’m not having sex in my house while she is here, neither is she! Also, I couldn’t really allow others to sleep on the futon in my second bedroom in the future knowing she did the nasty with some dude she met at a bar on it.

Anyway, Friday night we both went our respective ways to watch the Hawks game. I was on the South side and debated about just staying over at a friend’s house so I didn’t have to drive. But then the game was HORRIBLE, I was sober and I ended up going home. It was really hot, humid and rainy, so the air conditioning was on. And since I keep my A/C at like 71 during the night, I figured I needed to let Alix know where the extra blankets were, in case she got cold. Because I knew she wasn’t going to be coming home sober.

So I sent her a text. I was such an old lady. But it gets cold in here! I am a good hostess! She finally rolled in around 2 AM, I think. I only know this because I heard her trying to get in the front door. She couldn’t figure out which was the right key. I knew the nice thing would have been to help her, but then it isn’t as funny.

On Saturday I headed out to a street fest to stand around and drink steins of beer and wish my friend Sarah good luck on her move to Ohio. Alix actually called when she got off work and wanted to meet us out. Us 30 somethings! I was shocked. I figured she wanted free beer. I think I had enough tickets for a brat.

I was at this street fest all day. I walked the trek back and forth from the ticket booth/port-a-pottys/beer line multiple times that day. And then I walked through it with a hot, young blonde and all of a sudden there were A LOT of guys talking to her and coming up to her.

Story of my life.

And to make it worse, the cats already like her better than me.I think Simba is plotting a way to get her to take him home with her.

Whenever that is. And it better be soon, right Alix? RIGHT?!?!?

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


14 Responses to “My New Roommate”

  1. You are a good woman. I would rather die than live with my sister again, as much as I love her.

  2. Angella says:

    My only FULL sister and I couldn’t live together for an hour without killing each other. My half-sisters and I get along fine.

    You are such a good sister for taking her in. Not that I’m surprised – you’re a good friend. 🙂
    Angella´s last blog post ..Sometimes No Means Yes

  3. Moose says:

    “If I’m not having sex in my house while she is here, neither is she! ”

    Best rule ever. Even insects aren’t allowed to be in the same room in my house. NOTHING WITH A CARAPACE IS ALLOWED TO GET MORE NOOKIE THAN ME.
    Moose´s last blog post ..The Incident

  4. Sarah says:

    That red and white jacket in the picture? I totally have that jacket. I don’t know why I felt compelled to share that irrelevant and uninteresting piece of information. But I did.
    Sarah´s last blog post ..Things I am not good at

  5. Alice says:

    oh man i have spent WAY TOO LONG being that girl. it’s never been with my sister (SO FAR) since we’ve lived in different states ever since both of us were of dating age, but i do have to admit i’m secretly happy that my bff from highschool is married off now, because it is NOT FUN going out next to her.
    Alice´s last blog post ..hello! i suck at health.

  6. Jacki says:

    I knew she was living with you but now that I know the WHOLE story I know I like you even more!

    (Isn’t it always a biotch about the pretty girl and pets like her better part…sorry, it happens here too.)

  7. slynnro says:

    Should my sister ever find herself in this situation, I will be forced to THROW MONIE$ AT HER cuz this ain’t happenin’.
    slynnro´s last blog post ..Hodgepodge.

  8. Jill says:

    “I’m totally that girl with the hot friend that no one cares about.” – this was so me (and sadly still is) but? I got a TON of free beer because of it. My “hot friend” was a total BIATCH and if a guy wanted to even TALK to her? He had to buy EVERYONE a beer!! LOVED her for that!!

    PS – you are a good sis – I just visited my older sis in FL and I had to get my own hotel – I love my sis – but could never.ever. live with her.
    Jill´s last blog post ..Typical conversation between Dave and I

  9. Scarlet says:

    I love that you let her struggle at the door. I lolzed.
    Scarlet´s last blog post ..Television

  10. Rhi says:

    Ooh. I should get a roommate that likes to clean. And, paint. And, do yard work.

  11. Carri says:

    This 1/2 sister thing reminds me of my 6 yr. old neice who asked her mom what half of her brother is hers. Her mom replied ok we no longer will say 1/2 he is just your brother.
    She replied well I don’t want either 1/2! HAHAHA

  12. Candy says:

    I’ve got a 20 year old daughter I could send your way, since you’re taking in homeless brats. I’ll even pay her rent for her!
    Candy´s last blog post ..Where everything is all right

  13. Kate says:

    I just stumbled upon your blog. Last night my girlfriend and I sat reading it and laughed out loud. It’s like reality TV in writing. LOVE IT.

  14. Kate says:

    Oh…and p.s. I am from Chicago and I just recently picked up and moved to San Diego so I appreciate the frequent mention of the city and all it’s craziness.

    Check out my blog at:

    (probably not the kind of blog you would like, but what the hell).
    Kate´s last blog post ..Lessons in Training