Posted By on November 24, 2009

This is my 600th post. I’m sure most bloggers have written more posts than that in three-plus years, but that seems like A LOT to me. Thankfully my mom is like the only one that has been here since the beginning. I truly hope none of you have gone all the way back to the beginning because wow, there are some bad posts.

For my 200th post, I wrote something stupid. (See what I mean about bad posts?) The next day I wrote a 201 Things post. (If you want to know almost everything about me, then read that.)

For my 400th post, I gave away some bacon goodies.

For my 500th post, I complained about being tired. Which pretty much sums up this blog in a nutshell.

And for this, my 600th post, I give away nothing!

No! I kid! Come back!

I actually decided that I’m going to give away not one, but two, COUNT ‘EM TWO, Bacon shirts. To TWO lucky winners!

So I have two Cafepress stores. They both sell Bacon items. One contains items that don’t have the word fuck on it, the other store contains only items WITH the word fuck on it.

You get your pick! Without:


Or with:


(That’s actually a mousepad, but shows the design better.)

So browse the two shops and pick out one shirt (or mousepad or bib or onesie) to call your own, if you’re one of the two lucky winners.

To enter, you just have to leave a comment (only one entry per person. Sorry, I’m a comment whore, but not that much. I mean, I am President of the Lazy Club.) It’s that easy! To make it even easier, your comment should contain 600 words EXACTLY about why I am the most awesomest person in the world.

No! I kid! I keed!

But, if you need help on what to write a comment about and don’t feel like blowing sunshine up my ass (although, that is always welcome! Such a refreshing feeling, sunshine up the ass!), please tell my your favorite breakfast cereal. Today mine is Cookie Crisp. Because that is what I had for dinner. I even braved the grocery store two days before Thanksgiving with all the idiots of the world in order to acquire said Cookie Crisp.

Good luck! And have a happy BaconThanksgiving everyone!

Fine print: Contest will close at midnight Central time on Monday, November 30 sometime on Tuesday, December 1. Whenever I get around to it. Winners will be chosen from comments with use of one of those random number generator thingys. If you win a shirt, you have to promise to actually wear it. And possibly photograph yourself in it. Or I’ll take it back. Bribes are accepted. But have no bearing on the outcome. Because winners are chosen randomly. Note to potential bribers – I like cookies. And Swedish fish. And cake without fruit in it. And booze. And money.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


41 Responses to “600”

  1. Sheri says:

    I really need some new clothes…you see, my fat ass has started to run and walk everyday, and I’ve lost 30 lbs…don’t get too mad, I’m faaaattttt and have like 90 more to go so…. Anywhoo, I really could use a shirt!!! I promise if I win, I’ll wear it when I run my next 5 K…..Free advertising!!!!

  2. Raven says:

    I have friends that are bacon fiends and they would ENVY me in that shirt. Muahahaha.

    Also: Chocolate Chex is the best cereal in the world.
    .-= Raven´s last blog ..and the funk starts already! =-.

  3. Bren says:

    All I can say is mmmmmmmmmmm bacon! Congrats on 600 posts!
    .-= Bren´s last blog ..Me see! =-.

  4. Scarlet says:

    One time my sister said, “Scarlet loves bacon more than anyone I know.”

    True story.

    Congrats on a shit load of posts!
    .-= Scarlet´s last blog ..Remember The Time =-.

  5. Mahnee says:

    I already have a shirt, thank you.

    Fave cereal? Post Raisin Bran. Only Post. Has been and always will be my fave.

    Congrats on the 600 posts!!!!! I’ve enjoyed every one of them.

  6. Andrea says:

    Oh, you know I DID go all the way back to the beginning, and there are no bad posts! My favorites are the ones that are All About Drinking, and the one starring the cats, where KItty Kitty pukes a million times and Simba calls her a fuckwit. I love it! More cats, please!
    Marshmallow Mateys, the generic Lucky Charms, is my all time favorite. You can get ten times your daily allowance of sugar in just one bowl!
    .-= Andrea´s last blog ..It’s no Man From Nantucket, but… =-.

  7. My favoritest breakfast cereal is Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch. Even though it always feels like it cuts up my mouth.
    .-= nancypearlwannabe´s last blog ..Living Proof That Martinis Only Make You Stronger =-.

  8. Kristin says:

    Congrats on 600 posts! Woo Hoo! Favorite cereal – Lucky Charms. I love the Bacon women’s t-shirt and I love bacon. I’ll even take a picture of myself wearing the shirt.
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..Waiting =-.

  9. Alicia says:

    I recently started following your site and I LOVE your blog. They make me laugh daily…or monthly based on your blog activity HA! I am guilty of starting from the begining due to boredom at work and sheer nosiness. You do have a gift for writing and have inspired me to do a little bit better job of posting on my own blog.
    Reason why I should win the shirt – I guarantee NO ONE from Maine has ever seen a shirt like that! I would be the envy of all. and…I love bacon. Who doesnt??
    .-= Alicia´s last blog ..Seemed to have forgotten I have a blog… =-.

  10. Missy says:

    I’m not saying I should DEFINITELY win, but fruit-less, booze-filled money cookies ARE my specialty when I’m not making double-chocolat cake with white chocolate-buttercream frosting, that is. Swedish fish? Can’t help ya there.

    But I *do* promise to faithfully wear the shirt (should I win) and photograph myself in it. Most likely in one of thso awkward “hold the camerin in front of the bathroom mirror and cut your own head off” kind of pics. Or I’ll let my 2-year-old take the picture. Same results.

    Happy Thanksgiving!
    .-= Missy´s last blog ..MAAP – The Not Much Happened Edition =-.

  11. lceel says:

    Although the notion of blowing sunshine up your ass is really, really tempting (and pleasant), (Oh God, please help me maintain my train of thought) (no, not THAT one!!!) (Sheesh) my favorite breakfast cereal is … WHEATIES!! With milk, only. No sugar or anything added – except, maybe, a sliced banana.
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Season Over =-.

  12. Lori says:

    Hey chica – I have been commenting since November 2006, when you came out to AZ and we decided Ann Arbor is a Whore. Sure, I’m a lazy commenter now, but I was great back in the day! And of course I’ll comment for a bacon shirt. Though Lola would rather have the folder. She misses him. 🙂

  13. Lori says:

    Oh! I’m not double-commenting, just forgot to tell you my favorite cereal right now is Cinnamon Chex. But I like to switch it up. Last month is was Special K with chocolate bits. Yum.

  14. Angella says:

    Pick me! Pick me! That shirt would be awesome to wear around my small town.

    And forget cereal – I I’d much rather have bacon for breakfast.
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Money Matters =-.

  15. Carrisa says:

    I love the large bacon mug (the PG version). That rules.

    My favorite cereal of the moment would probably be Honey Nut Cheerios.

  16. CisforConnie says:

    I WANT THAT SHIRT. Ohh, the things I could do and places I could go in the bacon shirt! Bacon cheeseburgers would taste so much baconier with the shirt…it must be mine!

    Congrats on 600! I hope to one day hit that mark, you’re an inspiration to us all! (and there’s your sunshine) =D

    My fav cereal was Kaboom! but I’m pretty sure they don’t make it anymore. It had circus themed marshmallows and such. Now my favorite breakfast food is omlettes…with bacon.
    .-= CisforConnie´s last blog ..Have your self a Merry Little Thanksgiving… =-.

  17. Schwerer says:

    I have read all of your posts and I love them all, and you!

    Shutyourf*ckingmeatface and have a great Thanksgiving!

    Oh, and my favorite breakfast cereal is a tie! Either, Oh’s -love them and they are cheap… or Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds – yum!

  18. Kerri Anne says:

    I’m thankful for you, friend.

    Also, for bacon.

    Also, for t-shirts touting a love of bacon.
    .-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..“This is out daughter Dottie. And this is our other daughter, Dottie’s sister.” =-.

  19. Cass says:

    Happy 600, I know that’s gotta feel like a mega accomplishment. 🙂

    My fav cereal (despite having 433456546 different types I *love*) is probably Frosted Mini Wheats, but only if there’s fresh blueberries. Otherwise it’s probably something like Life…mmm…Life.
    .-= Cass´s last blog ..If I stitch fast enough, does it count as aerobic exercise? =-.

  20. 600??? Crazy talk! I’ve been blogging just under 2.5 years, and I’m only to 350! Something tells me I won’t be catching up with you by my 3-year birthday =) Congrats!
    .-= Camels & Chocolate´s last blog ..Photo Friday: Israel, a Teaser =-.

  21. Denora says:

    Lucky Charms. End of story. My childhood love for them has never died (or I’m still really a child). I had them for dinner a couple nights ago and I’m not ashamed to admit it!

    Your blog is hilarious. I did go back and read from the beginning, and like another commenter, have been inspired to write better on my own blog. Thanks for the entertainment and inspiration! Happy 600!
    .-= Denora´s last blog ..Spewing at Sportsmen =-.

  22. i do want one of those shirts. i have thought that idea was a hoot since you made the shirts. (no idea why i haven’t bought one. treasurer of the lazy club!)

    those chocolate chex slynnro always talks about ARE DELICIOUS. but i don’t eat them from breakfast.

    breakfast faves are honey bunches of oats. the vanilla clusters ones are good too. and i like multi grain cheerios (MUCH tastier than any other cheerios). raisin bran crunch is pretty delightful as well.

    i guess i eat a lot of breafast cereals! i eat oatmeal all winter though.
    .-= michele (mouthy_broad)´s last blog ..June is for Camping =-.

  23. jcristg says:

    Thanks a lot, because now I want freaking Cinnamon Toast Crrrruuuuunch.

  24. paperdiva says:

    You don’t look a day over 500!
    I could totally use a Bacon shirt. In fact, that could become a staple of my wardrobe as mayor of lazytown.
    And i have to give a shout out to my favorite guy, CAPTAIN CRUNCH and his delicious peanut butter crunch breakfast cereal. It kicks ass.
    .-= paperdiva´s last blog ..greetings from Frankenmuth! =-.

  25. Jessica says:

    Ok, so I promise to a photo-blog series of all the adventures and hijinks that could happen with a shirt like that. Why? Because Everything. Is. Better. With. Bacon. 🙂 Actually, I did a Facebook update recently that just said “BACON!!!”. Got the most comments ever. Who knew?

    Anyway, cereals? I adore Capn Crunch, even though it’s a danger to my mouth. when my mouth’s not up for the challenge it’s a tie between Fruity Pebbles and Cinnamon Life. 🙂 Mikey likes it, you know?

    Anyway, congrats on the 600 posts!
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..Eggs and the Devil =-.

  26. Moose says:

    Oh my god, I want that shirt. WANT. And of course I will actually wear it, probably while imbibing from the font of wisdom.
    .-= Moose´s last blog ..I Bet the Pilgrims Liked Drama =-.

  27. Moose says:

    Ha ha! Please note the verb tenses – “will” – LIKE I’VE ALREADY WON IT! Arrogant or optimistic? I can’t decide.
    .-= Moose´s last blog ..I Bet the Pilgrims Liked Drama =-.

  28. Seattle Amber says:

    In the morning I enjoy a good bowl of bacon. And when I say bacon, I mean Cheerios.

  29. jen says:

    Shutyourf*ckingmeatface could be my new offensive t-shirt… and believe it or not – it wouldn’t be as offensive as the one I received Saturday evening (it was an Onion t-shirt, so you can use your imagination)!

    I’m glad to see I’m not the only Post Raisin Bran fan – although I seem to always have a box of Cheerios around (though they’re only good with bananas).

    Have a great holiday!

  30. tracey says:

    Um, you HAVE to pick me, you know. Because, well, you do. I don’t have a bacon shirt and this IS SOMETHING I NEED.

    Also, since I don’t think I want Corinne spelling “fuck” just yet, I’ll take the g-rated shirt. You can just close the contest now.
    .-= tracey´s last blog ..3 Strikes… =-.

  31. tracey says:

    Shit. One simple direction and I fuck it up. I like Oh’s cereal, ok? Are you happy now?
    .-= tracey´s last blog ..3 Strikes… =-.

  32. Yv- says:

    So what you don’t know about me is that 1. I’ve actually been reading for over a year but just started commenting 2. am in an MFA program and 3. was completely inspired by one of your WWBD posts and wrote three poems that I became known for at the school. Here’s the first poem out of the three (I’ll email you the other two if you want to see them)

    Sex and Bacon

    Bacon is sexy.
    Sizzling sweet maple skin
    lost in the lather of oil in my hot pan.
    Its saltiness on my lips
    searing juices in my mouth,
    I rub my tongue along crisp ridges
    waiting for waxy grease to drip
    down my throat, sating my empty stomach
    its taste pleasuring my lonely palate
    as only bacon can.

    Bacon makes everything better
    he says to me, not knowing
    I am a firm believer
    that sex indeed makes a much better lover.

    Bacon is temptation
    so close to my lips that
    I dare not taste, for fear of burning
    the tongue that so desperately
    wants to speak of your salty ways.
    The spitting greasy secret
    kept between us
    as though heat were all that was needed
    to satisfy the empty place in the pit of me.

    yeah…i want a shirt. bad.
    .-= Yv-´s last blog ..The Drought =-.

  33. Lela says:

    Awww, I thought I had the best word that describes you! I don’t need 600! I just need “Drunkabella”! Lol! (Omg I’m typing like a retard tonight, and I’m not even drunk meself!)
    .-= Lela´s last blog ..Classy Footwork =-.

  34. Deidre says:

    Shouldn’t we be giving you things for letting us read your blog for 600 posts? Um, that’s false advertising as I have nothing to really give you…

    Breakfast and me don’t mix. Particularly cereal in all it’s glutenous and dairy glory. It’s just my stomach hates me Kristin….True story.
    .-= Deidre´s last blog ..I have needs people, pie needs. =-.

  35. Chibi Jeebs says:

    OMG! I would be the coolest kid on the playground in that shirt! 😉

    Seriously though, congrats on 600! Oh, and my favourite cereal is…
    Mini Wheats, wheats, wheats I want them vanilla for so long.

    Mini wheats, wheats, wheats. Its high in fiber, you can’t go wrong!

    P.S. You’re welcome for the brain worm.
    P.P.S. If that didn’t work, I have a youtube link I’d be MORE than willing to share.
    P.P.P.S. If your contest isn’t open to Canadians, disregard this comment/entry.
    P.P.P.P.S. #kristabellahatescanadians? *snort* 😉

  36. I’m all about the Corn Pops. Now, if you want to entertain yourself for awhile, just keep saying “corn pops” over and over again until you quit thinking of the cereal itself and taking the words literally. Now…it doesn’t sound too appetizing, does it? Sounds like a stupid fake cereal name, doesn’t it?

    But it’s oh so good. Even better if you use the leftover milk for a second round of Corn Poppy goodness.
    .-= iamstillbroken´s last blog ..Cuddling in the Cutlass =-.

  37. regan says:

    I need that shirt so the random number thing better pick me. Not only will I take a picture of me wearing it, but I’ll take a picture of Truman wearing HIS Bacon shirt being held by me wearing MY Bacon shirt. So there. I deserve to win.
    .-= regan´s last blog ..that star can twinkle =-.

  38. Cindy from Cincinnati says:

    Congratulations on your 600th post! I think it’s wonderful!

    My favorite cereal is Wheat Chex and if you pick me I will make you a tin of puppy chow with some of my Wheat Chex and send it your way!

  39. witchypoo says:

    If I’m picked, I choose to give the winning NSFW shirt to Angella, on the caveat that she take a picture of her wearing it while shopping at her regular grocery store. So, please, PICK MY ARSE, err, ME
    .-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Oink =-.

  40. hillary says:

    Oh my hell, those shirts are fabulous. I’m not a cereal fan. I’d rather eat bacon for breakfast.
    .-= hillary´s last blog ..There’s A Woman With A Mustache Who Won’t Let Me Be =-.

  41. I live in a city with no professional sports. What this town considers a reasonable substitute is college football. COLLEGE. You, my friend, get to go to Cubs games and Bears games and Bulls games while I am stuck in hippy-ass Austin with nothing but this burnt orange longhorn bullshit. So, I should get the shirt to wipe away my tears every time you post about going to a game.
    .-= thecoconutdiaries´s last blog ..Right Back Where I Started From =-.