Confessions Of A Reality Show Junkie

Posted By on August 6, 2009

Hi, my name is Kristin and I’m a reality show addict.

I was thinking today, after not sleeping at all last night, for the third night in a row, that maybe it isn’t the lack of sleep that has made me dumb and unable to function, maybe it is all the reality television I watch that has rotted my brain.

So come with me, and embark on a really sad journey. A journey that will make me realize I may spend far too much time in front of the television. Come commiserate (hopefully) with me and tell me I’m not the only one who watches these shows.

1) The Real World. I don’t even have to mention what season. (This one is in Cancun, by the way, and it is FABULOUS!) I watch every season. Every time a new season premieres I tell myself I won’t watch it, but then I get sucked in and cannot stop. Then about halfway through each season, I punch myself in the neck and ask myself WHY I am watching this show and WHY am I getting so invested in these stupid peoples’ lives? And WHY was I so pissed that stupid Mark from the Aftershow RUINED the show for me last night because I happened to be watching live and he told us in a commercial break that Joey would be on the Aftershow, his first appearance since getting kicked out of the house. And then we returned to the episode and JOEY WAS STILL IN THE HOUSE! WAY TO RUIN IT FOR ME, MARK! (Also, if I just ruined it for any of you I’m a) not sorry because now you know how it feels and b) why are we still watching this crap. Also c) Jasmine is an idiot. HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU, HONEY!)

2) Real Chance of Love. Most people probably don’t even know what this is. Real and Chance were on I Love New York, who was on Flavor of Love. And now Real and Chance (who are brothers and part of the Stallionaires, which is a lame as it sounds) are trying to find love on a reality television show. I will point out that this is the second season of this show. And I’m sad to admit I’ve watched so much of this crap so far.

3) Top Chef Masters. This show I love and you should ALL be watching it. I didn’t think I would enjoy it this much, but whoever at Bravo came up with this idea is a GENIUS! (Except for the idiot who thought Kelly Choi was a good choice as a host.) Watching these award winning chefs work under the constraints and time limits that normal Top Chef contestants go through really makes you admire all the past Top Chef contestants a lot more. If Rick Bayless struggles, it CANNOT be easy. Also, the sportsmanship (which is not the right word in COOKING) is impressive. They are all willing to help each other out. They want it to be a fair competition and are not willing to see their fellow chefs fail.

4) Daisy of Love. If VH1 puts a show on the air with “of Love” in the title, I will watch it. This one already ended, but I need to discuss with others out there. Please tell me one of you watched this. Also, if any of you know where Flex lives, please tell me because he’s yummy. Why was there no reunion show? What happened with London?

(INTERMISSION: I feel even dumber for writing this all down. It is no longer secret. And I might be a little embarrassed that I put this much stock into these shows and the lives of these people. Also, I haven’t even touched the surface. This post is just a small fraction of what I watch, reality television-wise. SAD. I KNOW.)

And we’re back!

5) Big Brother 11. I have watched every season of this. Back about three seasons ago, I got Jen Lancaster hooked on it. She’s either really happy about that, or would like to punch me in the gut. I didn’t like this season that much at first, but now I love it! If you watch, feel free to have a discussion in the comments about how hot Jeff is and his dreamy blue eyes. Swoooooon.

6) Real Housewives. Of anywhere. If you are not watching the Atlanta version, start. Now. It just started back up again last week. It is the trashiest of the Real Housewives shows, which is why I love it the most. I’m going to Atlanta in September (booked my trip yesterday! CANNOT FUCKING WAIT!) and I will be expecting Darcey or Ali to drive me past their houses or somehow run into them somewhere. Preferably NeNe.

7) Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. This is one of the best reality shows around. There is a reason why she’s won like three Emmys. Bitch is funny. And her episode last week focusing on Prop 8 HATE was amazing and very touching. The episode where her mom updated her “FacePlace” page was classic! Also when she took Bette Midler to some off-the-strip casino in  Vegas for fried Oreos. Do not miss this show!

I’m going to stop here. But I will tell you that I have dates on my calendar marked for the premieres of Flipping Out, The Rachel Zoe Project, Project Runway and Top Chef Las Vegas. And I know what you’re thinking and the answer is a big fat YES. And the question? Will I watch anything Bravo airs.

So tell me your dirty reality show secrets. What are your favorites? Which ones are you a wee bit ashamed to admit you watch or have watched? Please tell me I’m not alone in my obsessions! PLEASE!

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


48 Responses to “Confessions Of A Reality Show Junkie”

  1. Sheri says:

    I ended up running into one of the guys who was on the first season of I Love New York. We were both walking the March of Dimes walk. He was very funny, and for the life of me, I can’t remember his name. But i looked him up when I got home, and yep, there he was, my brush with fame. I loved the Flava Flav reality show, and used to watch the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows…and actually spent an entire day watching a whole season of “The Real World”….whenever…I think I was preggers and on restricted movement (not as bad as bedrest, but close). My dirty TV confession isn’t of the reality kind…I watch Nancy Grace every night and sometimes twice a night. Nancy herself drives me batshit crazy, but I love her hair.
    .-= Sheri´s last blog ..Oops He did it again =-.

  2. christa says:

    Curiously absent: NYC Prep. Best. Show. Ever.
    .-= christa´s last blog ..PBR-reeking assholes … =-.

  3. Scarlet says:

    Atlanta is my least favorite Real Housewives show.

    And Real World DC next! HUZZAH!
    .-= Scarlet´s last blog ..Ruiner =-.

  4. tracey says:

    Wow. I don’t watch ANY of those! I do watch So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol and Project Runway. Oh, and I used to watch Jon & Kate but now I feel too guilty to watch the demise of their family… I am now a Duggar fan. Their kids are AWESOME. I don’t care if they wear clothes from 1982. I want kids that listen like THAT.
    .-= tracey´s last blog ..So. How YOU doin? =-.

  5. Denora says:

    Big Brother. I am addicted. I had surgery during Big Brother 9, and I kid you not, I asked the nurse to delay my morphine shot because I didn’t want to fall asleep during the eviction. Sadly, I am not ashamed of this.

  6. christina says:

    I don’t know why there was no reunion show for Daisy, but I really wanted to see a drunken Weasel again. And the Swedish Triplets, they could steal all the food again at the reunion.

    And I kinda wanted DavePak to win so that they could get a spinoff together like the top model chick and the Brady bunch guy, or Flava Flav and Brigette.

  7. Anna says:

    I was a Real World/Road Rules/Challenge junkie for many, many years. One of the highlights of my college years was running into Sean and Rachel (they are married now and have something like 6 six kids!) at a Target. Did I go up and say hi? Nope, just followed them around the store like a creepy stalker.

    I too will watch ANYTHING Bravo puts out, but my current reality show love is Tori and Dean, Home Sweet Hollywood. So incredibly addictive even if Dean has a great big head and beady little eyes.
    .-= Anna´s last blog ..Week in Review – 28 =-.

  8. witchypoo says:

    I don’t get most of those shows. As in, don’t have Bravo. And the Real Housewives of OC and NY are on late. Very.No Atlanta. I watched Big Brother 11 for the first time this season,and wasn’t feeling it.
    .-= witchypoo´s last blog ..Grace the Thirteenth =-.

  9. I am 100% addicted to all of these “of love” shows on VH1. Rock of Love (probably my fav), Real Chance, Megan wants a Millionare, Daisy of Love, and any off shoot, Charm School etc. etc.

    I loved Daisy on Rock of Love but she is a whiny stupid girl on Daisy of Love. And OMG what I wouldn’t give to get my hands on Flex, especially in that eyeliner. I do love a man in eyeliner.

    But I digress. I just assumed that the reunion was coming any day now, but it just never comes. I really hope she kicked London to the curb because he is such a douche. Hate him.

    Anytime you need to discuss VH1, I’m your girl.
    .-= Dutchess of Kickball´s last blog ..Rockin The Bowling Alley =-.

  10. pseudostoops says:

    There are several, but the most embarrassing is “Toddlers and Tiaras” on TLC. CANNOT LOOK AWAY.
    .-= pseudostoops´s last blog ..Things you should be making =-.

  11. Bailey says:

    I watch all that you mentioned, except the VH1 shows.

    I also watch NYC Prep (disgusting) and Miami Social (also disgusting). Basically if Bravo puts a reality show on, I will watch it.

    I can’t wait for Top Chef Vegas. Bring on Padma! Kelly Choi is about the worst host ever.
    .-= Bailey´s last blog ..Hornets Nest =-.

  12. -R- says:

    I have not been able to watch The Real World since the Chicago season. I’m just too much of an old lady to appreciate it. I did watch most of the episodes of 16 & Pregnant though.

    I also like Life on The D-List. I loved the episode where Kathy introduced her mom to Betty White and Don Rickles.
    .-= -R-´s last blog ..Full Moon =-.

  13. -R- says:

    Oh, I forgot Tori & Dean until Anna mentioned it. I love it!
    .-= -R-´s last blog ..Full Moon =-.

  14. Megan says:

    Don’t be ashamed, I too A-DORE reality TV and take it a step farther and discuss the Real Housewives, Daisy, Ruby, and all the Top Chefs like I know them.

  15. lceel says:

    I can’t WAIT until HOT moves to Chicago – because we are going to HAVE to get you out of the house more – no two ways about it.
    .-= lceel´s last blog ..Haiku Friday – R.I.P. John Hughes =-.

  16. Beckie says:

    Ironically enough – the show I’m most addicted to is Intervention. (I’m not 100% sure it counts as a reality show though)

    I confess VH1 has me in there dark dark clutches. I was able to resist Daisy because she’s a dirty skank and there’s nothing redeemable about her (cmon tell me you weren’t a little worried you could catch Hep C just from watching her show). However, I’m totally down to watch Megan meet millionaires so I’ll be back.

    So since you’re “back in the saddle” – I have to ask. Are you as freaked out about Reals’ hair as I am? His hair looks better than almost all the chicks trying to jump him. Also – what the french toast is up with those arm warmers? Seriously??? Aren’t they in California??? Where it’s like melting hot. Is there really a need to wear sleeveless shirts, with a vest PLUS arm warmers??

  17. Yv- says:

    I can’t stop watching all of them either. No shame here. I caught up on the entire season of Big Brother over the last two days (did you know you can watch it on Netflix!?! Awesome.)

    I have one thing to say to Daisy…ARE YOU STUPID!?! London? Seriously? Flex was so amazing and London was such a total flake. and she picked HIM!?! I hate to say it, but in the end, the girl will get what she deserves. Sad.

    (ooo. and there’s going to be another season of Rachel Zoe? I’m so excited.)

  18. Beckie says:

    P.S. – Please to fix my typo: “…VH1 has me in THEIR dark…”***

  19. Yv- says:

    Aaaaand another thing:

    Disturbing reality dating trend – the guys who leave & come back win. (Why doesn’t this work in real life?)

    And can we discuss the two newest dating shows? I thought I was going to hate Dating in the Dark. Totally love it. Then, I thought I was going to love More to Love and I absolutely detest it. Could they have picked a more mentally/emotionally disturbed bunch of women?

  20. Carrisa says:

    I have watched every single season of Big Brother. Including the 1st season where America voted people out. LAME! I trust that you are right when you say it gets better this season. So far I’ve seen like 8 episodes. Enough to know that Laura just left.

    Survivor and The Bachelor are ones that I sometimes watch and sometimes don’t. Chances are if I start the season I’ll finish it.

    I haven’t watched The Real World in like 5 years. And I detest all of the Real Housewife shows as well as the ____ of Love shows.

    Does American Idol count as a reality show or a game show? Because I watch that one. But I don’t watch America’s Got Talent or SYTYCD. Or Dancing With the Stars.

    I guess I’m doing a pretty good job of weeding out the reality shows in my life. I used to be real bad about it. Of course I canceled our cable last month so I suppose that will have some affect on it.

  21. You are not alone.

    I do, in fact, know who Real and Chance are and I watched their premiere episode yesterday (I usually catch the things in reruns, which VH1 loves to do). I’ll watch anything on VH1 with “of Love” in the title, too.

    I used to watch the Real World, but I haven’t watched a season since the 90’s. My, I feel old.

    Now, I can’t get enough of Dating in the Dark. And I’m still watching John & Kate (MY GOD). And Tori & Dean. And.. the list could go on.
    .-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..We Fought the Law, and the Law Laughed in Our Face =-.

  22. I hate how much pull reality shows have over me. they are the perfect “do nothing” show. I hate to admit this but I find my self watching episodes multiple times, just zoning out in front of episodes that I have seen so many times.
    .-= Sensibly Sassy´s last blog ..The Sisterhood Of The Born To Fit Jeans =-.

  23. Alice says:

    i too will watch anything bravo shows me. i watched the entire season of The Fashion Show, for god’s sake.

    (except for nyc prep. that hits too close to home, considering i practically went to that school, and i do NOT need to relive highschool again thankyouverymuch.)
    .-= Alice´s last blog ..TMI Thursday – thanks,! =-.

  24. Raven says:

    You know I am watching RHoA and I am SHOCKED at NeNe and Sheree being back in cahoots. SHOCKED.

    Also, I think Dale is a total tool for trying to go all drunk frat boy who wants to fight at Michael C, on Top Chef Masters, HELLO??? Who are you? You little punk? Idiot.
    .-= Raven´s last blog ..some words of thanks =-.

  25. Carri says:

    Hi my name is Carri and I’m a reality show addict.
    Big Brother, keeping up with the Kardashians, Kendra, Survivor, Amazing Race. Please never let these shows end.
    KJ~Jeff is so HOT! I beleive he lives in Chicago too. Find him.

  26. Cyndi says:

    I generally stick to Survivor, Idol, etc., but I hereby sheepishly admit that I’ve been watching More to Love. Could they have chosen a more desperate group of women?

  27. Lori says:

    Top Chef Masters is the only reality show I watch, oh and Wipeout! I actually like Kelly Choi more than Padma. Love Wipeout for three reasons, people falling down, John Anderson and John Henson.

    I did see two episodes of Flipping Out. Why is it coming back? I’m pretty sure house flipping helped bring the market to where it is today. And that guy is beyond obnoxious.
    .-= Lori´s last blog it’s already august… =-.

  28. Chris says:

    I too watch anything Bravo airs and LOVE Top Chef ANYTHING. But how could you forget to mention that Hardy from Big Brother is currently on Miami Social????
    .-= Chris´s last blog ..Life =-.

  29. Schwerer says:

    There is a reason we are friends… I watch everything except the Real Chance of Love… Though, I am struggling to get into the Real Housewives of ATL, but LOVE every single other locale. I also watch Dating in the Dark, the newest dating show on Soapnet where two girls swap cities and condos and date men from that city, Food Network challenges, Whale Wars (I know you do too) and lots more crap! But I justify it by perhaps I am learning something, mostly the person I don’t want to be!

    I am so with you on finding Flex, lets do it!

  30. Rhi says:

    HATE how Kelly Choi nods her head at Judges Table. LIKE SHE KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. She is a dipshit.
    .-= Rhi´s last blog ..Friday Bullets: So, so tired Edition =-.

  31. paperdiva says:

    Girl, you have a problem!
    I watch tons and tons of reality shows, but the only one one your list I watch is KG. The meaner she is the funnier she is. How about when she made her Mom call potential Grammy voters? that was some funny shit.

  32. ali says:

    I haven’t even heard of most of these shows…fucking Canada.

    but I AM watching Real Housewives of Atlanta…because that shit is AWESOME.
    .-= ali´s last blog ..the apple doesn’t fall far. =-.

  33. Vanessa says:

    I could get sucked in to each and every one of those. One year I HAD to get BB After Dark. It was because of Amber “Jameeka wouldn’t take the $500!”
    .-= Vanessa´s last blog ..Upping the fabulous quotient =-.

  34. Okay, I know the start dates for all these: Flipping Out, The Rachel Zoe Project, Project Runway and Top Chef Las Vegas start August 11, August 17, August 20 and August 26, respectively.

    So yeah, I’m as bad as you.

    (And ditto on Kelly Choi. Oy. Yes, she’s pretty, yes she’s ethnic, but did they think that was all it would take to fit Padma’s shoes? She has the personality of a traffic cone.)

  35. brooke says:

    I got into Daisy of Love because of my husband…and worse than all of your admissions here – it made me kind of like 12 Pack/Dave. Whew, I feel like I just left the confessional (without all the creepiness).
    .-= brooke´s last blog ..Out My Mind =-.

  36. TUWABVB says:

    I hope that you watch “Tori and Dean” and you just neglected to mention them – because otherwise you ARE the queen.

    I cannot wait for the new Rachel Zoe season. She annoys the shit out of me, and yet, I can’t stop watching. It’s weird.
    .-= TUWABVB´s last blog ..Conversations with Manbug a/k/a Signs That I’m Getting More Dumber =-.

  37. WHAT IS UP WITH KELLY! WORST HOST EVER! Even worse than Billy Joel’s now-ex on the first season of Top Chef.
    .-= She Likes Purple´s last blog ..We’re OK, you should know that right off =-.

  38. Angella says:

    I, like Ali, am pretty clueless about most of these shows.

    Maybe that’s a good thing?
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..The Name Game =-.

  39. Deidre says:

    1. I Love Money was the best television show ever. And I only saw 3 episodes. But when The Entertainer told some chick that sometimes he “cried too” — I have never been so touched.
    .-= Deidre´s last blog ..If I can take a moment to be serious…Word to your face =-.

  40. I, too, am a whore for Bravo and cannot wait to see Jeff Lewis go nuts on poor ol’ Jenny.

    I simply cannot watch any more dating shows. I am OFF The Bachelor, anything …of Love, and Megan Wants a Millionaire is bullshit. I’d like to point out that Sextoy Dave was on Millionaire Matchmaker.

    I love “Snapped” on Oxygen.
    .-= thecoconutdiaries´s last blog ..Ess See Ecks =-.

  41. Jen says:

    I was OBSESSED with Flavour of Love but I was somewhat redeemed by the fact that my husband also secretly loved it. Wait, not sure if that makes it acceptable, or means that we are both idiots. I also secretly watched Girlicious and the Next Pussycat Dolls. To my credit, though, I stopped watching The Hills after Season 2, although calling that reality TV is using the term very loosely as I have no doubt it was very scripted.

  42. Darcey says:

    My reality show brush with fame was meeting Mike “The Miz” out in Buckhead one weekend a few years ago. And now he’s on the WWE, which the bf watches occasionally, and I get to see him and all his smack-talking when I’m stuck watching it with him.
    .-= Darcey´s last blog ..Moving killed me dead =-.

  43. Mama Bub says:

    I really hope you’re also watching Brooke Knows Best. I’m HIGHLY disturbed by the similarities between Brooke and her father’s girlfriend.
    .-= Mama Bub´s last blog ..Weekend Highs & Lows =-.

  44. It’s really hard to bring myself to watch any reality TV at all, but I do harbor a not-so-secret love for SYTYCD!
    .-= nancypearlwannabe´s last blog ..Bingo Wings =-.

  45. I can not deal with MTV VH1 reality tv. However the more Bravo the better! I have quite the posting on my blog now about Toddlers and Tiaras….
    .-= Martinis or Diaper Genies?´s last blog ..To the "Toddlers and Tiaras" team at TLC =-.

  46. Violet says:

    In formulating a response to your post, I realized that I am a reality show junkie, too! So much so that I am compelled to write a post on my own blog instead of just responding here, so…

    The only thing I will say here is that I am totally swooning over Jeff on BB, he does have dreamy eyes, and he’s so cute Chicago! Not to mention that he is obviously the smartest man in the house. I’m so in lust with him that his shomance with Jordan doesn’t even bother me, and usually they gross me out.
    .-= Violet´s last blog ..My First Friday Fill-IN =-.

  47. regan says:

    I am Bravo’s bitch. Any reality show they make I will at least try to watch. Most I get sucked into, but I drew the line at NYC Prep (The kids were so funny looking and awful) and Miami Social. Anything else on Bravo I dutifully watch.
    .-= regan´s last blog ..the girl that cried wolf =-.

  48. Noelle says:

    That’s a lot of TV! But lest I be some kind of only-scripted-dramas purist, let me tell you that I love The Biggest Loser, and I watched every moment of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. BUT! That’s only because I went to high school in Franklin Lakes. Let me tell you, I never saw those women or any women who looked like them anywhere in town.
    .-= Noelle´s last blog ..I cried at work =-.