I Can Add “Picks Up Trash” To My Resume

Posted By on October 1, 2008

You know what I never talk about here? Jobs and interviews and work. Because someone who goes on and on about all that kind of stuff is just a whore, plain and simple.

It’s a good thing I don’t talk about jobs and stuff here because then you wouldn’t care to hear about a job I had during my summers in college.

I should probably point out that I’ve never held a retail or service industry job in my life. I never worked in fast food or at the mall or in a restaurant. In high school, I worked for my dad. My freshman year in college I was an usher for ASU football and basketball games, as well as Arizona Cardinals games. And I only did that because I got to usher Super Bowl XXX. After that, I worked in the media relations office in the athletic department. And sometimes I would work Phoenix Suns games. I didn’t do typical high school/college jobs.

I also had a job, during two summers in college, working for a minor league baseball team. I was an intern for the Kane County Cougars, who, at the time, were a Single A affiliate of the Florida Marlins.

It was kind of weird how I got the job. A lady that had previously worked for my dad, Heidi, somehow knew a lady who worked in accounting for the Cougars. And she just happened to be sleeping with the General Manager of the team, as I later found out. So I gave her a call, sent in my resume and basically got the job. I was hired to help answer phones and anywhere else they needed me. I was the low woman on the totem pole. My first few weeks I spent sitting in an office reading a book. And getting PAID for it.

After they figured out I could do other things besides read and answer phones, I spent most of the time working in the ticket office selling tickets and calling groups about their tickets and setting menus for the outings and doing a lot of the things I have done as an event coordinator in other jobs I have had since. But on game days, I basically helped wherever they needed me. I did any number of duties, including working the customer service booth, wrapping hot dogs, making snow cones, throwing cookies out into the stands in the 5th inning and pouring beer, underage I might add. (Actually, when I did pour beer, I was only allowed to pour until someone questioned my age. Even though I was close to 21. And I look young.)

I didn’t mind helping out. It kept things interesting. I hated the customer service booth because people are idiots. And I don’t know how many times I had to tell people “no, I don’t sell hot dogs/t-shirts/beer here.” And I once got into an argument/tiff with some other worker because I got to work the customer service booth, which was apparently a cushy job since I got to sit on my ass the whole game. And apparently I was the GM’s pet. Which they probably realized wasn’t true when I screamed at the GM in my second summer and quit two weeks early. (Funny thing? I have no idea what I was so mad about.)

There was one thing I hated about that job, one thing I prayed to get out of every game – trash duty. You see, in the minor leagues, you don’t have a team of people who clean up the stadium. You basically put your salaried employees and interns on that job. Everyone, including the GM, picked up trash after the game. And let me tell you it was one of the most disgusting things I have ever done. Imagine all the crap people eat and drink during a baseball game – peanuts, beer, nachos, soft pretzels, hot dogs. Now imagine all those things in one soggy pile. Now imagine having to pick said soggy, sloppy, smelly pile up and put into a trash bag.

I think I just remembered why I quit.

I got out of it more often than not. Because I volunteered to count ticket stubs, or clean up the ticket booths or because I was young and needed to get home and needed a nice man to walk me all the way to my car. (I can be very persuasive.) But the times I had to do it were awful. And I can never erase the smell of stale beer mixed with peanut shells from my memory.

Remember this next time you go to a baseball game and toss your peanut shells on the ground instead of in a cup. Some trash person will have to sweep that shit up.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


15 Responses to “I Can Add “Picks Up Trash” To My Resume”

  1. slynnro says:

    I thought I was the only princess who managed to avoid food service her entire life.

    slynnros last blog post..I’ll Assume She Was Kidding. UPDATED. TWICE.

  2. Melissa says:

    Yikes, I think that would make me quit, too. I also didn’t have a job in food service…I think I’m most thankful for that…

    Melissas last blog post..Wordful Wednesday or Oh La La!

  3. Trash duty. That sounds way worse than working at Starbucks.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  4. Mahnee says:

    I promise to be careful with my trash at the Cubs game tomorrow. Not so much because of the people who have to clean it up but because of my history of FALLING..and I really don’t want to fall in all that crap!

  5. Mouncie123 says:

    Trash duty…ewwww!

  6. Raven says:

    I have also never worked in food service!

    I tell sprog all the time “someone else will have to clean that” when making him throw away his own trash, not touch windows or display cases and pre-bus the table when out at a restaurant. Thanks for proving my case for me.


    Ravens last blog post..mammaries

  7. I worked the Ticket Office for The San Diego Padres and I concur that people are dumb- and that’s LONG before they start sucking down $40 cups of beer. Two of the discount tickets we sold were obstructed view and bleacher. Now, bleacher is not a code-word for anything…they are literally a row of benches with no backs. When they bought their tickets they had to sign something that said they understood that their seats sucked and no, they could not get a refund. Of course someone always came back “There’s a big pole in my way, I can’t see the game” or “Did you know there’s no back to my seat??”.

    Ah, the behind the scenes of working for a professional sports team.

    the coconutdiariess last blog post..I Don’t Want A President With A Bucket List

  8. dabby says:

    Hey! Don’t knock the food service! My very first job was working at Baskin Robbins at it was the best job ever. Can I please sample ice cream for a living again?

    dabbys last blog post..Ominous Hangman

  9. Evil Genius says:

    In high school my boyfriend worked at a theater complex. He used to have to clean up all the theaters at closing, and sometimes I stayed and helped him. Yuck. I know exactly what you’re talking about, although without the beer smell. People are fucking pigs! I know it taught me a lesson about taking care of my own trash.

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..I’m the New Meth

  10. bigskygirl says:

    honestly, i ALWAYS try to think of the poor people who have to clean up — movie theaters, games, what have you. one of the guys i work with will deliberately throw stuff on the ground because “what?! that’s their JOB!” Not necessarily, my friend. sigh. anyway. hopefully for every one person like him, there’s one like me. 🙂

    bigskygirls last blog post..i need another bag like a hole in my head

  11. At UVA, student groups sign up to clean up after football and baseball games because they get paid a nominal amount to do it. I did it with Pete’s fraternity. Once. Never again.

    So, I never ever ever throw my trash on the ground. Nuh uh. No way.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Wordy Wednesday (updated)

  12. Ree says:

    Another princess who never worked food service or retail.

    I’m looking forward to becoming a Walmart greeter eventually, though. One of the really, really crabby ones.

    Rees last blog post..Perfect Post – September

  13. Kerri Anne says:

    I LOVE hearing about past jobs. I have also never worked in fast food service, or in retail. I did bartend and wait tables in a Jazz restaurant for a year and a half, though, and loved it.

    Kerri Annes last blog post..In His Own Words

  14. Angella says:

    I thought my stint at Dairy Queen was awful. You win. Hands down.

    Angellas last blog post..Super Trouper*

  15. DM says:

    Ha. I don’t think you’re necessarily a princess. I did work fast food and retail for ten years. 10. But my God, that sounds awful.

    DMs last blog post..Birds are our friends