How’s This For Embarrassing?

Posted By on August 19, 2008

Have I mentioned that I am obsessed with the Olympics? No? Well, let me tell you that Olympic fever, I has it. And I have fallen into a deep depression because Michael Phelps hasn’t been on my TV in DAYS, DAYS I TELL YOU, and now I have to resort to Google and reading any and every article written about him. I’m a huge Phelps Phan (did you know that’s what they call people who love Michael Phelps? No? Then you haven’t been doing your Google homework.) And also I’ve decided that my new career is to be Phelps’ PR person because dude needs to learn how to do an interview. He will have no staying power if he keeps saying the same thing over and over. We get it, you’re at a loss for words and it is awesome. SAY SOMETHING ELSE.

My Olympic fever has waned since swimming ended on Saturday night. I just don’t have the same passion for track and field and gymnastics and basketball and anything else. Those people wear too many clothes. And also? Track athletes could learn a thing or two about humility from the USA swimmers. It’s not all about you. But maybe, Usain Bolt, you of the gold shoes, if you could take off your shirt, you might be able to change my opinion. Just a little.

I clearly have an obsessive personality. Clearly. Google does not help this little obsession in these current times. (Current times? I apparently just morphed into an 83 year old woman.) Because now when I’m all “what is Aaron Peirsol doing TODAY?” I just ask Google and I’m flooded with images and then I see him smiling and those pretty blue eyes and photos of his well-sculpted chest and then I realize I HAVE A PROBLEM. (Possibly a job where I had something to do might stop me from doing this.) (TWELVE MORE DAYS! WOOT!)

This is not a new thing. I’ve had my Olympic obsessions in the past. In fact, there is one huge one that stands out and I’m embarrassed to even be telling this. (Between dropping a Star Trek reference Monday and a Star Wars reference Tuesday, I’m pretty sure this post is going to send me to new heights (or lows) of geekdom. It was nice knowing all of you.)

Back in the 1992 Olympics in Albertville, France, I had a Phelpsian/Peirsolian obsession with Alberto Tomba. Tomba was the rage of the winter games that year. Albertville was re-christened Albertoville for the two weeks. He was handsome and charming, a ladies man, a rule breaker and I loved everything about him. I lived for all of his races. He was Tomba La Bomba. All across France that year you could hear the chants of “Tomba! Tomba! Tomba!”

I was so obsessed that I watched for everything that aired about him and looked for everything that was written about him in the newspaper, in magazines, anywhere. In the Age Before Google, I had to rely on hard copies of news publications to get my news.

And get my Tomba news I did.

I cut out every article about him in the paper, every feature about him in the magazines. Anything written about Alberto Tomba, I cut it out and put it in a scrapbook. (Can you feel me wincing at my nerdiness through the screen? CAN YOU?)

I had an Alberto Tomba scrapbook. Oh yes. Yes I did. (*hangs head in shame*)

But he was just so cute and was such a bad boy and I wasn’t the only one who loved him. I swear. It was Tomba madness across the world!

And I’m really wondering why I even had friends back then. Or why I even have friends now. (Who will all be unfollowing me on Twitter by the boatloads once they read this.)

At least my mom will always love me. Even if Alberto never will.


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About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


28 Responses to “How’s This For Embarrassing?”

  1. Vanessa says:

    A scrapbook? You crack me up!

  2. HouseofJules says:

    Ahhh, a scrapbook! I did the exact same thing for Bon Jovi back in the day. As for Tomba… he is totally my type! He can bomba my thromba whenever he wants!
    House of Jules

    HouseofJuless last blog post..Putting the Hump in Humpday: Parallel, perpendicular or diagonal hardly matters if I’m enveloped in that wing span

  3. Willow says:

    I was laughing at you all the way through that post until I got to the bottom then two things struck me. Firstly, 1992 was about the time I had my Gary Speed (Welsh footballer who used to be cute) scrapbook. Secondly – Goddamn that pic is hot! couldn’t see it til I scrolled down but I can totally see the need for a scrapbook!

  4. slynnro says:

    It really irritated me how Usain Bolt started to celebrate his victory pretty much as soon as the race BEGAN.

    slynnros last blog post..Gone Fishin’

  5. Mahnee says:

    Yes, your Mom will always love you. And I can still see that red scrapbook you made for Tomba. Also knew where this story was going & started laughing waaaaaaay before the picture. Man, he was/is HOT!!!

  6. moo says:

    I’m surprised you haven’t done a DINAO for the olympians (and bela karyoli, hee!)

    moos last blog post..rats and crap

  7. Marguerite says:

    Yes! A DINAO for the Olympians! I, too, am mourning the end of swimming. I’ve been so grateful to see that most of my blogger favourites (hey – that’s you!) have been dealing with the same obsession.

  8. *scratching my head in confusion*

    Tomba? Really? I don’t get it.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Re-entry

  9. You think a crush on Tomba is embarrassing?? In the late 80’s, I had a crush on

    (wait for it…)

    Brian Boitano.

    Yes, I know. It had something to do with him crying after his perfect long performance, I think. And I was only a teenager at the time, so I guess it never occurred to me that he was gayer than a barrelful of pink monkeys. But if scrapbooking him had ever crossed my mind? I’m sure I’d have lovingly cut out pics of him, and all his lycra-clad body parts, and surrounded them with pink heart stickers.

  10. -R- says:

    I totally love Usain Bolt. I do not care about his early celebration. OMG HE IS SO FAST WTF. I have not yet started a scrapbook about him though.

    Do you still have the Tomba scrapbook?

    -R-s last blog post..Getting To Know You Stories

  11. Melissa says:

    Wow, that was quite the stalker crush…a scrapbook, huh? You are hardcore!

    Melissas last blog post..What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?

  12. Ree says:

    did you sleep with that scrapbook?!?


    Rees last blog post..A Day in the Life

  13. Allison says:

    Although I never made a scrapbook of him…I was a bit obsessed with Apollo Anton Ohno. He was just so cute with his long hair, soul patch and leggings….

    Allisons last blog post..Things I Don’t Understand

  14. Noelle says:

    I’m kicking myself because I just learned that I went to college with Hilary Phelps, and I looked at my old college newspaper, and she swam on a relay team with a girl who was in my freshman dorm. That girl invited me to watch her swim once, and I declined. Now I wonder if I had gone, maybe I would have become friends with Hilary, and if then in turn she would have introduced me to Michael.

    Eh, that’s probably a longshot. Maybe I’ll have to see if I know anyone who knows any skiers…

    Noelles last blog post..On Privacy

  15. For all of the love that is holy, I had the SAME obsession at 10 years old. It was 1984 and I loved myself some Mitch Gaylord. I even watched his movie American Anthem. (P.S. I just laughed loud enough at myself that my coworkers asked what was so funny.)

    Serendipitous Girls last blog post..On Bets and Boys

  16. Puh-leeze do some PR work on Phelpsy and his mom. He for not being able to answer a question creatively and she for crying at every damn thing. Sheesh.

    There is an inherent difference in the personalities of track and swimmers. Maybe because swimmers don’t really come in direct contact with their competitors, where people can, literally, eat your dust.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Like A Stone

  17. ali says:

    well…your taste sure has gotten better. haha.

    ps. i wish the olympics would bring back the swimming! seriously.

    alis last blog post..skeletons

  18. Kristie says:

    Dude, he’s hot. I would have done the same thing!

    As for Phelps? Meh, if I could switch his head with someone else I’d be happy. I’m going to get pummeled by all the Phelps fans now, aren’t I?

    Kristies last blog post..Story Time, part 3 : Remember the kids? The ones on the block?

  19. Kimberly says:

    Ha! A scrapbook. I love it.

    Kimberlys last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: You’re invited to a princess tea!

  20. beej says:

    Well, there’s always beach volleyball!

    beejs last blog post..Moonday!

  21. Alice says:

    i know. i so know. BRING BACK MY MAN SWIMMER ABS, PLEASE. i love that you made a scrapbook. that is awesome squared.

    (ps i’m NOT TECHNICALLY ADMITTING THIS, but i may have read something yesterday about how there was a picture that showed how, uh, endowed, a certain mr phelps was, and i may have clicked on the link. am now totally creepy phelps phan.)

    Alices last blog post..WWC(ish): bitter & sweet

  22. Mouncie123 says:

    OK I agree with Kristie Phelps really needs to take some of that money he is going to get in endorsements and get those ears pinned or keep his swim cap on. And for goodness sake grow some hair to give a girl something to hang onto.
    Just Sayin’

  23. Scarlet says:

    I remember him very well:) I loved how much of a bad ass he was. I didn’t have a scrap book, though, BUT I do have ones of tennis, haha.

    I think Michael Phelps is cute, body and head. Well, body is SMOKIN’ and head is cute. I’d love to eat with him for a day. Yummm.

    Scarlets last blog post..Transport Is Arranged

  24. Heather B. says:

    You MUST see the photos that Susan has been sending me. The photos she took of Michael Phelps live and in person. He is a beautiful boy. That’s all I need to say. Photos are forthcoming.

    Heather B.s last blog post..What the good ones are made of

  25. I agree – Michael needs a new PR person, er, woman. Maybe THAT should be your next job!

    Kimberly/ MommaKs last blog post..Their First Concert

  26. lol…well, I’ve been into the gymnastics this year because of the 33 year old woman who was competing in vault. She got a silver medal. Now THAT was sexy. Take THAT you 18 year old hipless wonders!

    Jozet at Halushkis last blog post..An Old Timey Pre-Internet Love Story

  27. Hank says:

    Usain Bolt really pissed me off in the 100. I mean, seriously, keep your celebrating until you’ve actually won the race! He started strutting before he won!

    Hanks last blog post..A Big Mistake

  28. Lys says:

    Don’t shoot me but every time that commercial for the Phelps fan that didn’t get some message about him being in her area, I inevitably think “The ad agency must know about Kristabella” It’s classic!

    Lyss last blog post..Clarity, So Have It…