World Upside Down

Posted By on April 2, 2008

I actually meant to write this post on Monday, but since I have a tendency to forget things and get distracted by all things shiny and photos of hot baseball players with their shirts off, it slipped my mind. Which is actually surprising since not a day goes by when I don’t think about this time of my life last year.

It was a year ago today that I was officially fired because of my blog. When my world, as I knew it, was turned on its head.

For those of you who are new here, you can read the two-part story here and here of how it all went down. The bottom line is that I guessed the company’s new (STUPID) name, jokingly put it on my blog because of all its STUPIDNESS and when people searched for Slalom Consulting, when they found out the new (STUPID) name, I was the first hit on Google. Which was exciting for a hot second and then the whole firing took place and I couldn’t really be excited about my Google Page Rank status, now could I?

They had (STUPIDLY) decided not to make the new site live until the big party (which I ruined, by the way) later in the evening. So five locations of a company were TOLD the name, and being IT consultants, they Googled the new (STUPID) name. Enter Kristabella: Full of Snark. Top of page one. As Jen pointed out, I got fired because I was smarter than them. And that is why I love her. That and her love of trashy reality television.

I have moved on from that incident. I have grown and learned from it. For instance, I learned:

  • It isn’t a good idea to call a VP at your company a pompous ass
  • Repeatedly
  • Even if he is
  • Most companies are oblivious to the technological world we live in
  • So don’t blog about work
  • Everything really does happen for a reason

It is one year later and it still haunts me every day. I live in fear of being found out. While I really try not to blog about work, I worry that I’ll encounter another person who can’t get the fuck over themselves and take offense that I have a website. Where I say fuck a lot. And talk a lot about Bacon and sleeping with ugly celebrities and/or cartoons. It has changed me. And not it a good way.

I hate that I have this constant fear. Because I’ve done nothing wrong. This is my life outside of my job. And I shouldn’t be fearful that something like this could happen again. Because it really shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

I know. I fucked up last time. Had I read more Dooce and not just gazed at photos of her dogs and her baubles and fancy tea cups, I would have known DON’T BLOG ABOUT WORK! Especially don’t blog the new (STUPID) name, even if you think it is a big joke because who the hell names a consulting company with offices in Chicago after a skiing term? Besides stupid people? I like to think I’ve learned my lesson.

But my one mistake (in their eyes) shouldn’t make me worry. I HATE, like heat of a thousand suns HATE, the fact the jackass CEO at Slapdick Consulting has won. That until I let go of the fear that he created, he will always win and have a little piece of my soul. And as much as I tell myself I’m not fearful, it doesn’t stop my heart from racing and the bottom dropping out whenever I’m approached by a boss-type person about something I’m not expecting or told to come into their office.

I have to let it go. It happened. I ended up way better off, at a job I enjoy much more, where I get to do things that I enjoy and get to drink a lot more free alcohol. I can do that again, if I were to be faced with that again. I can bounce back. I am a survivor. Me and Beyonce.

Because I can’t let the asshats win. But I can turn Asshat CEO into an awful, awful character in my book. And that’s just as rewarding.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to โ€œHey! Drunk Girl!โ€, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


21 Responses to “World Upside Down”

  1. Mahnee says:

    In a lot of ways, it seems like longer than a year ago. I won’t even get started about the asshats and how I hate them for claiming even a teeny tiny portion of you with their actions. And violating your first amendment rights.

    You are truly a survivor! I got really lucky when the stork brought me you!!!!!

  2. Jenn says:

    Wow. It has been a year! You are in a better place now…no doubt. If the pompous ass CEO is that offended by your blog, imagine how shallow and insecure he must be in his “real” life! Wouldn’t want to have his life – regardless of his paycheck (and power).

    It is hard listening to someone share their opinion – especially when you disagree with them. But using your “power” to “shut them up” is simply intimidation. You are way stronger than that! IT’S THE LAST DAY OF BAND CAMP!!! Wohooo! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Melissa says:

    I’m so feeling you! I didn’t ger fired because of my blog but I did run up against some asshats last year at this particular time.

    We can get over this together…being afraid sucks!

  4. Kimberly says:

    Wow, I didn’t realize you were all blog beat up and had a dark past! It works for you.

    I want an autographed copy of the book. (I’ll pay for it, of course.)

  5. Lauren says:

    Wow What a mess! I wanted to post about work a couple of times, but stopped myself for fear of getting caught.

  6. I have had some really bad things happen to me at work as well, and have not dared to blog about them, for the same fear you have.

    Hang in there – – you are MUCH better off being out of that company! You are better off where you are now! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. LarryLily says:

    Hey, if they cant take a joke, fck them.

    I remember a story about a flight attendant with United I think it was that got canned for posting some pics of herself in a plane, where her blouse uniform was open enough (one button) to see she had a bra on. No nippleage or even deep valley, just some white bra. She made a little news out of that and your story is similar.

    But as far as fear goes, its not worth it. I mean, its not like they can take away your birthday, and they no longer sign your paycheck.

  8. I understand the fear, and I’m sorry you carry it with you. Are you close with your boss? Could you just mention it–even casually–one day: about the whole blog “movement” and how you jumped on the bandwagon?

    Anyway … you’ll eventually put the fear down, but, regardless, it’s a genuine fear, and I don’t think it means your old boss has won in any manner.

  9. Hey, I’ve been fired from a job before too! I was a restaurant manager then. After I was fired I went to law school and became an attorney. I think that my life is better now because of the firing.

    It really sucks when it first happens, and it stings for a while after, but you’ll get through it fine, we all do!

  10. Raven says:

    I still carry the fear from when I got laid off. I was railroaded (obviously) and for reasons I still don’t understand. It makes it very difficult for me to ever want to go back to big Corporate America. I was with HP for 9 years (technically it was Compaq before we got bought out) and I kicked ass for that company. I wish I was lucky enough to have a reason, even if it’s an asinine one.

    You’re better off. I would so pay to see you do Beyonce karaoke. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Laurel says:

    That story never fails to amaze me with the sheer scale of its douchebaggery. It is stupid that blogging is so risky professionally. I have approximately 3,576 stories right now of what an idiot my boss is and I CAN’T POST ANY OF THEM.

  12. The number one rule of Blog Club: DON’T WRITE ABOUT BLOG CLUB.


  13. Hank says:

    Does one say “happy anniversary” to something like this? Hmmm, where’s the blog version of Emily Post when you need it?

  14. Ree says:

    Thanks for the Beyonce earworm. Just thanks. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. kdiddy says:

    I’m constantly worried about getting shit for having a blog, but I try to assuage myself with the fact that I work at a pretty liberal place (university) and my co-workers don’t really know what blogs are…plus I don’t really badmouth the place at all, even when I really want to.

    Since I work with students I’m also always worried that I’m going to scandalize them. I know some of them read my blog. Then I think shit like, “Should I take the ‘fucks’ out?” But that’s stupid.

    So yeah…what was the question?

  16. Scarlet says:

    Reading Dooce would be a mistake. Blech!

    I agree with the others, it does feel like longer! Glad you’re done with that stupid company with its stupid name!

  17. moo says:

    As we talked about yesterday … Dooce doesn’t have all the answers.

    I know exactly how you feel about fear and getting bitten in the ass and not wanting to revisit the source of the pain, but not being able to let it go, either.

    Time helps. Lots of time.

  18. “But I can turn Asshat CEO into an awful, awful character in my book. And thatโ€™s just as rewarding.”

    That’s the spirit!

    And just anagram his name for the character’s name. He’ll never figure it out until his Kindergartner tells him.

    I do write about work, but only about the idiot customers. Not that all of them are idiots, but please…ten times a day I get “I’m looking for that book with the blue cover, you know the one.” How is that not also asking for it?

    My thought? Novel nothing: this is a screenplay.

  19. Cindy from Cincinnati says:

    I linked to you from Jennsylvania and I read what you wrote about it being one year since the pain of losing your job. I too lost a job, but I am celebrating my 5 year anniversary of being fired from that ASSHAT company. All I can say is that the bitterness goes away with time. I used to imagine my ex-boss’s face during punching routines at Jazzercise, but now I don’t. I realize that my current situation is so much more healthy (and financially lucrative) and how blessed I am at my new job, with a kind and generous boss I don’t fear. I still get a little anxious when he comes to me or calls me, but I’ve never had any negatives with him and I need to get over that completely. (There, I said it.)

  20. Katie says:

    I still can’t believe the awfulness you went through last year. I (stupidly?) blog about work occassionally but don’t have the balls to drop the company name.
    I really do believe things happen for a reason. It sounds like you are way better off.

  21. Gerbil says:

    The first rule of fight club is don’t talk about fight club.

    You can blog about work IF you mention no names, none, no identifying information. After that… open season on stupidity. Hey! And now? Now you can blog about that particular pompous ass to your heart’s delight.