I don’t have sophisticated movie tastes. (Or sophisticated music tastes since I found out this weekend that I like the same songs as eight year old girls.) I like entertaining movies. I love romantic comedies, I like action movies, I like comedies, especially slapstick humor, like people falling down. I will really watch anything as long as I’m entertained.

So I figured that even though He’s Just Not That Into You got some bad reviews, I figured it couldn’t be that bad. I mean, it’s like an all-star freaking cast. And really, Ben Affleck and Bradley Cooper? What could be so wrong with two hours of staring at manly eye candy?

EVERYTHING COULD BE WRONG WITH IT.

It was a good thing I was drinking when I was watching it, otherwise I might have done myself bodily harm, like stabbing myself in the ear drums so I wouldn’t have to listen to it anymore. Because I HAD to finish it. I paid like four fucking dollars for it.

So I did what any normal, drunk single girl does on a Pseudo-Friday night, I took to Twitter.

This was about 20 minutes into the movie. The character that Ginnifer Goodwin played, she needs better friends. I could never let my girlfriends be that stupid. I could never watch them act like complete nutjobs when it comes to men. I would have to intervene. I would have to tell them “You’re doing it WRONG. So, so wrong.” (Says the girl watching the movie alone on a Friday night.)

Sadly, it didn’t get much better.

I understand the premise of the movie and I do think that the book probably has some good points. I mean, really, we’ve all been like these women, haven’t we? We’ve been needy, called or emailed when we shouldn’t. We’ve supported our friends, saying things like “I’m sure he is just busy.” Or “I bet something came up and he hasn’t had a chance to call.” I get all of these things, I understand that these things are wrong and we don’t like to face facts.

But on the other hand, your heart always rules over your head. And it’s something we all have to do and experience to realize “yep, that book was right. He was so not into me.” Because until we figure it out for ourselves, it doesn’t matter. Barack Obama could tell us that we had to do it one way, yet we’d still rebel like a bunch of grounded teenagers and do the exact opposite.

This movie, though, was just so over the top. And Bradley Cooper, YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG! (I mean, in this movie. I’m sure you’re actually quite lovely in real life.) (Scratch that, US Weekly tells me that indeed you might be kind of a douche. That must have been an easy role to play then, wasn’t it?)

But really, what do I know? I mean, I’m sitting here on my couch having a conversation with my two cats. And apparently it is quite one-sided since they won’t tell me how their day was. I think they’re still pissed I went away for the weekend.

So tell me, have you seen He’s Just Not That Into You? What did you think?