I hate Halloween. You can read why here. And last year I was interviewed by the Chicago Tribune about my hate of the holiday and then people ripped me apart in the comments of the article. It was ENTERTAINING!

But a lot of people like Halloween. So in honor of this holiday (the holiday that is only good for candy), I’m doing a special Halloweenie Death Is Not An Option!

For those of you new here, the object of this game is when given an option of two people below, you have to pick one to sleep with. The caveat being death is not an option. You have to pick one! *insert maniacal laugh* All the other rounds can be found here.

Here we go, Trick Or Treat!

Round 15 – The Halloween Edition

The Pick Your Dracula Edition

Count von Count vs. Count Chocula

The Monosyllabic Edition

Frankenstein vs. Herman Munster

The Sexy Witch Edition

Elvira vs. Morticia Addams

The Horror Flick Edition

Jason Voorhees vs. Freddy Kreuger

The Weird Edition

Lurch vs. Cousin It

The They-Both-Have-Bald-Heads Edition

Ichabod Crane vs. Uncle Fester

The Scary Guys Edition

Mummy vs. Werewolf

Leave your choices in the comments!

Happy Halloween!

As a reminder, the object of this game is when given an option of two people below, you have to pick one to sleep with. The caveat being death is not an option. You have to pick one! All the other rounds can be found here.

And away we have it!

Round 14 – The TV Pitchman Edition

The Kings of the Infomercial Edition

Billy Mays vs. Ron Popeil

The How You Doin’ Edition

Shamwow Dude vs. Joey Tribiani

The “These Two Have Nothing In Common” Edition

George Foreman vs. Matthew Lesko

The Exercise Men Edition

Richard Simmons vs. Tony Little

The Annoying Ad Ladies Edition

Flo the Progressive Lady vs. The Orbit Gum Lady

The “Please Let’s Never See These Guys On A Commercial Again” Edition

The Free Credit Report.com Guy vs. The Verizon Guy

The Animal Edition

The Geico Gecko vs. The Aflac Duck

Leave your choice in the comments!

Have a great weekend!

As a reminder, the object of this game is when given an option of two people below, you have to pick one to sleep with. The caveat being death is not an option. You have to pick one! All the other rounds can be found here.

Without further ado…

Round 13 – The John Hughes Tribute Edition

The Good Boy vs. the Bad Boy Edition

Blane (Pretty in Pink) vs. John Bender (The Breakfast Club)

The 80s Cutie Edition

Ferris Bueller vs. Jake Ryan (16 Candles)

The Lovable Nerd Edition

Farmer Ted (16 Candles) vs. Duckie (Pretty in Pink)

The Girls of The Breakfast Club Edition

Claire vs. Allison

The Comedy Genius Edition

Uncle Buck vs. Clark Griswold

The Sidekick Edition

Wyatt (Weird Science) vs. Cameron (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

Leave your choices in the comment! Happy Friday!

I just looked in my archives and the last time I did one of these was in October. That is far too long to go with thinking about disgusting people to sleep with. Plus my mom keeps harassing me to do one. She is disappointed every day when it is not DINAO. And I’m pretty sure half the people that now read my blog have NO idea what I’m talking about.

The object of the game is when given the choice of two people below, you have to pick which of the two you would rather have sex with. The fun part being that death is not an option and you have to pick one! Believe me, sometimes death is the only option. You can see all the other rounds here.

Without further ado, in honor of our new Supreme Court Justice, I give you…

Round 12 – The Famous Judges Edition

The TV Judge Edition

Judge Wapner vs. Judge Joe Brown

The Old Lady Judge Edition

Judge Judy vs. Judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg

The Supreme Court Ladies Edition

Judge Sonia Sotomayor vs. Judge Sandra Day O’Connor

The I-Don’t-Even-Know-Who-These-Judges-Are Edition

AKA The Chocolate vs. Vanilla Edition

Judge Greg Mathis vs. Judge Mills Lane

The African American Edition

Thurgood Marshall vs. Clarence Thomas

The Reality TV Judge Edition

Simon  Cowell vs. Tom Colicchio

There you have it! Leave your votes in the comments!

Remember, death is NOT an option. If you choose death, you will be asked to leave Kristabellikstan to never return or be required to have sex with Larry King. Your choice. Remember there is FREE BOOZE AND CUPCAKES in Kristabellikstan. Choose wisely.

For those of you new here, the object of the game is when given the choice of two people, you have to pick which of the two you would rather have sex with. The fun part being that death is not an option and you have to pick one! Believe me, sometimes death is the only option. See other rounds here.

And on with the show.

Round 11

The These-People-Should-Stop-Breeding Edition

Jim Bob Duggar vs. Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8

The Truly Vomit-Inducing Edition

Howie Mandel vs. Donald Trump

The They-Were-Even-Too-Skanky-For-Bret-Michaels Edition

Heather vs. Daisy

The Lame, Family-Friendly Reality Show Host Edition

Tom Bergeron vs. Jeff Probst

The Wish-They-Would-Go-Away Edition

Jeff Conway vs. Dustin “Screech” Diamond

The Friend Vs. Friend Edition

Rob vs. Big

The Bad Hair Edition

Dog the Bounty Hunter vs. Hulk Hogan

The Reality Show Douchenozzle Edition

Dr. 90210 vs. Spencer Pratt

The Disease Ridden Edition

Girls Next Door vs. The Kardashians

There you have it! Leave your choices in the comments!

Him: Is the conference still on?

Me: Yes. Did you not get your email confirmation?

Him: No. I DID NOT.

Me: No need to shout, I will re-send it.

Him: No shouting here.

Me: When you type in all caps, it is SHOUTING on email.

Him: Not in Kentucky.

The sad thing is he’s probably right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now! DEATH IS NOT AN OPTION! AND YES! I AM SHOUTING! FROM THE EXCITEMENT!

So here’s the deal, for those of you who may be new and have not ever played this game at parties or at a bar: I will give you two choices and the object of the game is to pick one of the two people that you would have sex with, with death NOT being an option. As revolting as some may be, you have to pick one of the two.

I swear, it is fun!

To see old versions, click here. (And on a weird note, I have NO idea where Week 4 went, which was the political edition and the most vomit inducing. It disappeared when I imported my old posts from my old site and I can’t get it back. DAMN YOU GEORGE W! STAY OUT OF MY BLAWG!)

And on with the show…

Round 10 – The Culinary Edition

The Chef Enemy Edition

Rocco Douchebag DiSpirito vs. Anthony Bourdain

The Annoying TV Chef Edition

Emeril vs. Gordon Ramsay

The Food Network Edition

Bobby Flay vs. Alton Brown

The Rachel Ray Should NOT Be Your Answer Edition

Rachel Ray vs. Julia Child

The Highest Gross-Out Factor Edition

Mario Batali vs. Wolfgang Puck

The I Needed An Excuse To Look At Tom Colicchio Photos Edition

James Beard vs. Tom Colicchio

And also, this is a warning for all you, DO NOT EVER do a search for Rachel Ray on Google Images. Your eyes will be burning for the rest of your life.

OK, leave your choices in the comments!

So this time I thought I’d come up with a very scientific way of choosing our contestants.

1) Turn on iPod.

2) Turn on shuffle option.

3) Play first song.

4) Write down singer or group of song.

5) Skip to next song.

6) Write down singer as opponent to singer/group in step #4.

7) Rinse and repeat.

And also, I have some random shit in my iPod.

For those of you who are new here (hi Bossy readers!), the point of the “game” is to pick one of the two options that you would have sex with. And death is NOT an option. You have to pick one, no matter how vile. Doesn’t it sound fun? You can see previous versions here.

And away we have it!

Round 9

36 Mafia vs. Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock

James Blunt vs. Journey

B-52s vs. Prince

George Michael vs. Jason Mraz

Michael Buble vs. Blake Lewis

Barry White vs. The Pussycat Dolls

Beyonce vs. Mary J. Blige

Bone Thugs-n-Harmony vs. Bubba Sparxx

Sir Mix-A-Lot vs. Paris Hilton

Rascal Flatts vs. Timbaland

Have at it in the comments! Because I know you all have plenty of things to say about me having Paris Hilton’s When The Stars Go Blind in my iPod.

Judge away!

It also means it is completely acceptable to start drinking before noon and spend all day drinking Old Style and making out with cute boys in Wrigleyville.

Oh, who am I kidding? That is acceptable all the time.

In honor of Opening Day (Go Cubbies!) I present to you the Opening Day Death Is Not An Option. For any new folks, the idea is to vote for one of the two choices that you’d sleep with, and death is NOT an option. (Previous rounds can be found here.)

Round 8

The Vomit in Your Mouth Edition

Randy Johnson vs. Rod Beck

The Announcer Edition

Peter Gammons vs. Harry Caray

The Manager Edition

Don Zimmer vs. Lou Pinella

The Both Are Just Ugly Edition

John Kruk vs. Gary Gaetti

The ‘Stache Edition

Dennis Eckersley vs. Jim Leyland

The Death Would Be An Option for Kristabella Edition

Derek Jeter vs. Alex Rodriguez

The Pitcher Edition

Barry Zito vs. Tim Hudson

The I Wouldn’t Kick Them Out of Bed Edition

Mark Mulder vs. Troy Glaus

The Yummilicious Edition

Joe Mauer vs. Pat Burrell

The Two of Kristabella’s Favorites Edition

Mark Grace vs. David Wright

A nice blend of nasty and yummy for a Monday morning! Leave your choices in the comments!

:::

Also, it is the last day to vote for the Chicago Woman of the Year, so if you wouldn’t mind, please go cast one more vote for my friend Jenny! Many, many thanks to all the people have voted so far!

This one just makes me giggle because the idea of sleeping with cartoons is just funny. But that may be the cold medicine talking.

Anyway, here is Round 7. For anyone new here, the point is to pick who you would have sex with out of the two options. And death is NOT an option. To see previous versions, click here.

Round 7

The Old School Cartoon Edition

Fred Flintstone vs. George Jetson

The New School Beer-Drinking Edition

Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin

The Big Man Edition

Fat Albert vs. Bluto from Popeye

The Squeaky Voice Edition

SpongeBob Squarepants vs. Mickey Mouse

The Dawg Edition

Scooby Doo vs. Astro from The Jetsons

The Ladies of Bedrock Edition

Wilma Flinstone vs. Betty Rubble

The Pin-Up Cartoon Edition

Betty Boop vs. Josie from Josie and The Pussycats

The Kitty Edition

Felix the Cat vs. Tom from Tom & Jerry

The Duck Edition

Daffy Duck vs. Donald Duck

The These-Two-Have-Nothing-In-Common Edition

Bugs Bunny vs. Gumby

Leave your life-altering choices in the comments!

:::

Also, remember to cast your vote today for my friend Jenny for Chicago Woman of the Year!

I had all intentions to do this Thursday night. Because while I did have another going away party for co-workers, I planned on coming home before 10. The group was heading out to another bar around that time and I was just not going to go to that bar. I even told a friend at work to not let me go. Needless to say, alcohol took over and she’s like 5-2 so she had no chance of talking me out of it. I got to bed about midnight. And had to get up even earlier Friday morning to go to breakfast. So Friday was a bad day. So bad that I had to go home instead of going out with a fellow blogger in town because I felt like shit. Plus I totally would have been crabby and no fun to be around and I’m already an asshole in person, so adding crabby to that mix is a bad deal.

So anyway, here is this week’s DINAO. And thanks to Jules for the idea!

Remember the point is to pick one of the two that you would have to sleep with, knowing that death is not an option. (Click here for the links to all the previous versions.)

Round 6

The OG Edition

Snoop Dogg vs. Dr. Dre

The White Guy Edition

Eminem vs. The Beastie Boys

The Lady Rapper Edition

Lil Kim vs. Eve

The Dead Rapper Edition

Old Dirty Bastard vs. Easy E

The Yummy Muscles Edition

LL Cool J vs. Tupac

The Modest Rapper Edition

Jay Z vs. Kanye West

The I-Can’t-Wait-To-See-What-You-All-Pick Edition

Notorious B.I.G. vs. Lil Jon

The Thug Edition

50 Cent vs. R. Kelly

The Kristabella’s Favorites (For Their Music) Edition

Ludacris vs. Nelly

The Ice Edition (that I forgot and added later) 

Ice Cube vs. Ice T

Have at it in the comments!