Because that is not a woman, right? That is a young boy. RIGHT?

I had to rewind it a few times and I still and not entirely convinced that it is a woman.

And that just makes it even creepier. Like is he going to go all Misery on that kid? And take him to a cabin and make him drink his own pee?

WHY WOULD THIS MAKE ME WANT TO BUY DIAMONDS, ZALES? This makes me want to buy MACE.

#creepy

Last week I thought about giving up blogging altogether. I feel like I have nothing left to say and maybe it was time to retire this site. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, like half the internet does, because I knew I was PMSing and it was probably my hormones. And wouldn’t you know it, now here I am writing on this post.

I would like to have some super interesting story as to why I haven’t been writing here, especially all of last week. Something interesting like “I worked out at the gym every night and met a cute boy and we eloped!”

The truth is that I spent last Sunday drinking my face off watching football and started the day like this:

And I ended up the night in almost the exact same place – my bathroom. Although at the end of the evening I was praying to the porcelain gods and lying on the floor of the bathroom sans pants, still in my jersey. What happened in between was a lot of shots. And I’m sure many vows to never drink again. In fact, I haven’t had a drink since waking up on my bathroom floor without pants on, sleeping on my discarded jeans on my bathroom floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news, I am back to having a roommate. My sister moved back in on Saturday. But this time, she’s paying rent, has a job and will have to buy her own groceries. And it is just until the end of March. And I could really use the money.

I hope we like each other this much in two months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday I had a hair appointment. And I went from the blonde up above back to a brunette.

I really missed having brown hair. I just like myself better as a brunette.

(Side note: this is me, sans makeup, in the unforgiving natural light)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After I got my hair done, I went to spend the day with this baby girl!

We fed her those fruit puffs and she wasn’t too sure about them. She’s crawling now and getting into everything. She’s like a cat. The world’s most adorable cat ever!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my weekend was spent watching seasons 3 & 4 of Dexter. No, really. I watched 7 hours of season 4 today and only stopped because it tends to infiltrate my dreams and I wonder what Deb Morgan is doing in Chicago and why I’m working for a police department investigating some brutal murder. And well, that’s not my ideal way to spend my resting hours.

It also makes me think everyone is a murderer or serial killer.

Although this led to me trying to explain to my sister what “casing” meant.

Silly kids…

??So what have you all been up to? Please tell me it is more exciting than what I have been up to! PLEASE!

Then Jennie started a Biggest Blogging Loser contest with A LOT of money on the line and let’s just say, I am doing so much better this time around.

With the new WW program, it’s like I’m starting all over. Things have changed and I can’t just automatically know the points of something off the top of my head. I have to calculate all of it and log it all. And I have quite a few friends that have started this new program as well and they have been a lifesaver to bounce ideas off of, share tips with and exchange recipes. It feels like the first time I did WW when my friend Kristina was with me every step and because of her, I lost a lot of weight.

That time I was also in my mid-20s. So I could easily just change my diet and watch the weight fall off. My first week back then, I lost like 6 pounds. Now I’m lucky to lose A pound.

The key, for me, at my age with my slow-as-molasses metabolism, is that I have to work out. The only way to keep on track and actually lose some weight, even if I drink too much beer or eat a burrito, is to work out consistently. As I’m sure you’ve noticed from years of reading this blog, working out consistently is not something I do. I can drink booze consistently. I can sleep consistently. I can shove food into my piehole consistently. I can watch TV consistently. Working out consistently? HAHAHAHA! Don’t make me laugh. Oh wait. I just did.

I joined a gym last year. I don’t even remember when it was. I know I was going, a few days a week, and then the Kristin Johnsons hit. In fact, before last night, the last time I had been to the gym and worked out, I remember being on the treadmill and almost crapping my pants right then and there. I figured it was best to avoid working out until after I had kicked the KJs.

If you’ll recall, I kicked those back in August. I mean, it’s now almost February. I’ve been paying monthly for that gym and have only gone once in the last six months and that was to use the shower. Kind of sad.

But then I signed up for Netflix. And I was made aware of their amazing movies and TV shows available on Instant Streaming. And I realized that there was an app for that. So I could watch TV, whatever I wanted, not what was on at the time, and work out. This has been a dream of mine for ages!

So Tuesday night, in ice and snow, I dragged my ass to the gym after work. And I got in 40 minutes of cardio. And I watched the first episode ever of X-Files! And tonight? 50 minutes as I watched Monday night’s premiere of Heavy on A&E. (Talk about added motivation to work out!) And tomorrow? Back to X-Files. Because there is like nine seasons! And who doesn’t love Fox Mulder?

I realize I have a long road ahead of me, but the fact that I’m enjoying working out is a big deal to me. It is super easy to remind myself that what I usually do when I get home is watch TV, so why not do that at the gym and burn some calories? Because there are A LOT of TV shows I have never seen! And none of us should be surprised that when it comes down to it, TV is my biggest motivator.

Some people probably think they are missing out on SO! MUCH! when I go a week without posting. Those people would be wrong. Here is just a sampling of what I have been up to:

• I almost missed my flight to Pittsburgh last Monday. The security line resembled this, something I’ve NEVER seen at Midway airport.

• This was before 7 AM, mind you. And this was just the line for the TSA person to check your ID. You still had another line to wait in to get through security.
• I made it, barely, by running. In heels. Because of course my gate wasn’t like B3, it had to be B19 all the way at the end of the terminal. I only ran because I was PAGED! They paged me throughout the airport! “Pittsburgh passenger Kristin Johnson!” I wasn’t going to miss that flight, so I ran.
• And then it took me the entire hour flight to recover from being winded from my 1/4 mile jog through the airport.
• I need to go to start going to the gym again.
• Speaking of, I re-joined Weight Watchers. For the 17th time in the last six years. BUT! It’s a new program! And I can’t guesstimate anymore since everything is new! So this should help!
• Except I drank my week’s worth of points in beer and shots on Sunday while out watching football.
• This is why I’m fat.
• Other things I’ve been up to since I last posted? Not cleaning, not doing laundry and not moving from the couch.
• Oh! And I’ve started watching True Blood. And I am now hooked. And debating upping my Netflix account so I get more than one DVD at a time.
• I’m also reading the books. Both the show and the books are equally good.  And if you tweet about True Blood, fake True Blood characters will respond to you.

• I have also spent an insane amount of time scraping ice off my car windows. I don’t even want to talk about how it isn’t even technically winter yet.

And now I’m off to bed. Before I get hungry and eat all my points for tomorrow on string cheese.

It started when the bitch at Dunkin Donuts got pissed because I DARED to use a coupon to save a dollar on my iced coffee. And with that, whore, with that dirty look, you lost the tip.

Then I got to work and it got worse. I don’t even know what the deal was. EVERYTHING was pissing me off. I took deep breaths, I took breaks, I walked away from my desk, but I could NOT shake the bad mood. Thankfully I was busy so the day went by pretty fast. Until right before I was supposed to leave and then I got HULK SMASH ANGRY because someone was being not nice to my friend.

Want to see me get pissed and angry? PISS OFF PEOPLE CLOSE TO ME! I will go all freaking crazy mama bear on your ass because if my friends/family are hurt/sad/upset, I am upset.

So, I’m going to post something light! Because I don’t want to anger the full moon gods any more.

Although, this post might anger someone even crazier.

Do you watch Real Housewives of New York City? Do y’all know how crazy Kelly Bensimon is? Well, after talking shit about her on Twitter, she now is following me! UNPROMPTED! I don’t follow her! She FOUND me! WTF?

And then I immediately forwarded it to show everyone and then thought “Oh fuck! SHE FOUND ME! I FEAR FOR MY LIFE! She’s CRAY CRAY CRAZY!”

No more tweets like this:

Or this:

Honestly, she has some sort of serious mental issues. And now I fear she’s going to hunt me down.

WHO WANTS JELLY BEANS?!

Have a great long weekend everyone! I’ll be working only a half day and spending the rest of the day drinking beer at Wrigley for my first Cubs game of 2010!

Besides my trip to Atlanta in the fall, I never really have a plan to do much. I always try to eat a #1 Original at Chick-Fil-A. I prefer to eat at The Flying Biscuit at least once. But other than that, I have THE BEST time in the world hanging out with Ali, Gabe and their kids. Seriously. We can be sitting quietly at the table, both on our laptops, or we can be laughing at Emily experiencing Pretty in Pink for the first time and it is always a shit-ton of fun. It’s very rare to have friends like that. I’ve become so close with the whole Martell clan that I feel like I’m part of the family. And am already planning a trip up to see them after they move into their new house in Toronto this summer.

I mean, Isabella made me a card to welcome me!

So yeah, we watched TV. Ali was under the weather so there wasn’t much she was able to do without dying. So TV it was! We gossiped. We talked “shop” about the blogging world. We laughed, a lot. I learned about famous Disney stars. And watched 17 Again for the first time. And then laughed some more.

And Ali gave me her sickness. I mean, the whole house was sniffly and coughing, it was going to be some sort of major feat if I didn’t get sick. That and the coughing, sneezy, sniffly lady I sat next to on the plane home. So really, a sore throat and runny nose was well worth the trip out there.

Also, because Ali’s husband Gabe, he likes to cook. He has a cookbook and a cooking blog. And he makes REALLY YUMMY stuff! So on Friday night, I got to pick and I picked this. And you all need to make it. It was delicious! But don’t just take my word for it, you can also ask Darcey and Adam, who came over for dinner too. It was a blogstravaganza! (Seriously, Ali, Adam and I spent the whole day sitting at various tables and chatting and laughing. GOOD TIMES!)

Ali also finally showed me the magic that is a Canadian TV show called Rent-A-Goalie. It’s a real show, apparently. And actually quite hilarious. And very raunchy. Please try and convince me that staring at this hottie, episode after episode, is a BAD thing.

His name on the show is Cake. Let me tell you, the fact that I love Cake has taken on a whole new meeting. I’m thinking of moving to Canada.

But now I’m going to go catch some Zzz’s, like my favorite lazy puppy Indy, and hopefully get rid of this damn cold. That dog does sleep right!

So because I’ve had a shittastic week at work (IT IS ONLY WEDNESDAY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!) and know that we can all use a laugh these days, I’m re-posting it here. Because even if you read it almost 2 years ago, it is still pretty funny. If I do say so myself. And if you don’t laugh, don’t tell me. Because as I mentioned – BAD WEEK!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Reposted from July 2008)

Every time one of my fellow bloggers asks about guest posts, I am always one of the first people to be all “pick me, choose me, love me.” Oh wait, that was Meredith Grey.

But I always am totally eager to do it because….well, I’m not sure why. I would already be writing a post for that day on my own site and those people get enough of my inane drivel. Why would I subject others to it as well?

Basically, I’m a shameless famewhore, that’s why. So I decided since Jodi was nice enough to let me take over her site for a day, that I would write an ode to reality television. And how I am lured by its glowing television glow week in and week out.

But I’m not a poet. And I’m not even sure what an Ode entails. And I’m sure it has something to do with iambic pentameter or some poetry nonsense, but the fact is I don’t even remember how many syllables are in each line of a Haiku.

Instead, I figured I would talk about what it would be like to be on one of these reality programs. Because we all know we’ve thought about how we’d kick ass on Amazing Race, or would totally fall in love on The Bachelor or how we would like to make out with Simon on American Idol. What? Oh, just me then.

So I have picked three reality television shows that I would like to be on – The Bachelor, The Mole and Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. And I will tell you exactly how my experience would go if I were to be lucky enough to not have to work and could give up weeks at a time to pimp my famewhore self out on national television.

The Bachelor

Let’s face it, I’m 30 32 now (!), I’m single and I live alone with my two cats. Why shouldn’t I be on The Bachelor? I ask you, who wouldn’t want to date me? Clearly I’m quite a catch.

There are a few things that could go wrong. One, I do not own any dresses with sequins, and I’m sure that would deny me a rose. Two, those bitches are all size zero. I am not. Three, what happens if I make it to the final three and forgo my individual room and go to the fantasy suite with The Bachelor? How could you ever face your co-workers and your family? They will know you are a SLUT.

In reality, I wouldn’t make it past the first episode. Two words – free booze. I’d be a drunken, slurry mess by the time the first rose ceremony rolled around.

The Mole

I never watched this show until this current season and that was mostly because Jodi was all “watch The Mole! It is teh awesome! Even without Anderson Cooper!” And that was all it took for me to watch. Plus it is summer and there is not much else on.

The first time I watched it, I was unsure about the plot. Basically one person is the mole and is sabotaging everyone else. Or something. I still get confused when they reveal who the fake ghosts and mummies are on Scooby Doo. so I’m going to be blown away by whoever the mole is come the end of the show. I just hope there is a mask involved and Velma and Fred are there.

In reality if I was on this show, since I’m not the best secret keeper in the world, all it would take would be one drunken night with all of the contestants and I’d slurringly shout “I’m the MOLE, bitches!” And then giggle and pass out in my vat of wine.

Rock of Love

Who would NOT want to be on this show? And I’m not talking about going on to make out with Bret Michaels and his nasty thinning hair and collection of hideous bandanas. I vomited in my mouth a little just typing that. I’m talking about DRAMA. To the millionth degree!

Although, I’d be in trouble the first night when Bret takes sexy photos of you for your tour badge. Because I’d flash my granny panties and full-length Spanx sucking in all the fat rolls and the sexiness would be gone and I’d be booted before my first can of celebratory Bret’s Brew.

And I’d be OK with it because there’s no need to have to show up all those skanks with my pole sliding-down abilities. Straight from the playground to VH1. Wheee!

Oh wait, that’s not what they use that pole for?

And now you see why I’m a watcher. Not a doer.

I was thinking today, after not sleeping at all last night, for the third night in a row, that maybe it isn’t the lack of sleep that has made me dumb and unable to function, maybe it is all the reality television I watch that has rotted my brain.

So come with me, and embark on a really sad journey. A journey that will make me realize I may spend far too much time in front of the television. Come commiserate (hopefully) with me and tell me I’m not the only one who watches these shows.

1) The Real World. I don’t even have to mention what season. (This one is in Cancun, by the way, and it is FABULOUS!) I watch every season. Every time a new season premieres I tell myself I won’t watch it, but then I get sucked in and cannot stop. Then about halfway through each season, I punch myself in the neck and ask myself WHY I am watching this show and WHY am I getting so invested in these stupid peoples’ lives? And WHY was I so pissed that stupid Mark from the Aftershow RUINED the show for me last night because I happened to be watching live and he told us in a commercial break that Joey would be on the Aftershow, his first appearance since getting kicked out of the house. And then we returned to the episode and JOEY WAS STILL IN THE HOUSE! WAY TO RUIN IT FOR ME, MARK! (Also, if I just ruined it for any of you I’m a) not sorry because now you know how it feels and b) why are we still watching this crap. Also c) Jasmine is an idiot. HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU, HONEY!)

2) Real Chance of Love. Most people probably don’t even know what this is. Real and Chance were on I Love New York, who was on Flavor of Love. And now Real and Chance (who are brothers and part of the Stallionaires, which is a lame as it sounds) are trying to find love on a reality television show. I will point out that this is the second season of this show. And I’m sad to admit I’ve watched so much of this crap so far.

3) Top Chef Masters. This show I love and you should ALL be watching it. I didn’t think I would enjoy it this much, but whoever at Bravo came up with this idea is a GENIUS! (Except for the idiot who thought Kelly Choi was a good choice as a host.) Watching these award winning chefs work under the constraints and time limits that normal Top Chef contestants go through really makes you admire all the past Top Chef contestants a lot more. If Rick Bayless struggles, it CANNOT be easy. Also, the sportsmanship (which is not the right word in COOKING) is impressive. They are all willing to help each other out. They want it to be a fair competition and are not willing to see their fellow chefs fail.

4) Daisy of Love. If VH1 puts a show on the air with “of Love” in the title, I will watch it. This one already ended, but I need to discuss with others out there. Please tell me one of you watched this. Also, if any of you know where Flex lives, please tell me because he’s yummy. Why was there no reunion show? What happened with London?

(INTERMISSION: I feel even dumber for writing this all down. It is no longer secret. And I might be a little embarrassed that I put this much stock into these shows and the lives of these people. Also, I haven’t even touched the surface. This post is just a small fraction of what I watch, reality television-wise. SAD. I KNOW.)

And we’re back!

5) Big Brother 11. I have watched every season of this. Back about three seasons ago, I got Jen Lancaster hooked on it. She’s either really happy about that, or would like to punch me in the gut. I didn’t like this season that much at first, but now I love it! If you watch, feel free to have a discussion in the comments about how hot Jeff is and his dreamy blue eyes. Swoooooon.

6) Real Housewives. Of anywhere. If you are not watching the Atlanta version, start. Now. It just started back up again last week. It is the trashiest of the Real Housewives shows, which is why I love it the most. I’m going to Atlanta in September (booked my trip yesterday! CANNOT FUCKING WAIT!) and I will be expecting Darcey or Ali to drive me past their houses or somehow run into them somewhere. Preferably NeNe.

7) Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. This is one of the best reality shows around. There is a reason why she’s won like three Emmys. Bitch is funny. And her episode last week focusing on Prop 8 HATE was amazing and very touching. The episode where her mom updated her “FacePlace” page was classic! Also when she took Bette Midler to some off-the-strip casino in  Vegas for fried Oreos. Do not miss this show!

I’m going to stop here. But I will tell you that I have dates on my calendar marked for the premieres of Flipping Out, The Rachel Zoe Project, Project Runway and Top Chef Las Vegas. And I know what you’re thinking and the answer is a big fat YES. And the question? Will I watch anything Bravo airs.

So tell me your dirty reality show secrets. What are your favorites? Which ones are you a wee bit ashamed to admit you watch or have watched? Please tell me I’m not alone in my obsessions! PLEASE!

Today in my daily Gchats with Nic, she gave me a present on her birthday. (Isn’t she generous?) She showed me a website that was just awesome.

Are you all familiar with the Duggar family? She of the clown-car vagina, who is currently pregnant with her EIGHTEENTH CHILD? Well, they currently have a show on TLC called 17 and Counting. I am sad to admit that due to Nic’s enthusiasm about the show, I am now a weekly watcher.

I have so many questions. Does she have any bladder control? Does she have to go three tampons wide when she is riding the Crimson Wave? Isn’t it a form of child abuse? I mean she hardly pays attention to the older kids. She makes them take care of themselves. How can they afford that many children? Why would want to ever have sex again after pushing 17 kids out your va-jay-jay? Why would her husband not secretly get a vasectomy? Why would he even want to touch her ever again? I don’t think this is what God wanted!

Surprisingly, the kids are seemingly normal. Going into the show, I was picturing a ginormous family of Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokels and kin. But they all have teeth. And nice clothes. And speak well. (Yes, I realize I had very low expectation and it was wrong and I was pre-judging. But don’t tell me you didn’t think the same thing.) They are all home-schooled.

This week’s episode was about the oldest kid, Josh, and him proposing to his girlfriend. I watched it tonight, something to kill the time before the debate. I wasn’t paying too much attention because I couldn’t really get over the fact that a 20 year old man who was home schooled GOT ENGAGED BEFORE ME. And he met his future wife at a HOME SCHOOL CONFERENCE! I want to be the trade show coordinator for that. Think of the blog posts.

Clearly these people are very religious. Mom Duggar has that many kids because God keeps giving them to her. And since she used to be on the pill and had a miscarriage on her very first pregnancy, she feels God punished her and that is why she has to have as many children as he wants her to have. (Note to God, please stop. Eighteen is enough.) (I so hope that’s the title of their next show.)

They are also very religious when it comes to their relationships. In the case of Josh and his girlfriend Anna, before getting engaged they were in a period of courtship. Which means they dated long-distance (he in Arkansas, her in Florida) and obviously didn’t have any pre-marital sex. Guess what else the don’t do before marriage? KISS! They are allowed to hold hands and THAT IS IT! Can you imagine your first kiss with your mate being the one at the wedding in front of all your family and friends?

(Josh and Anna “courted” for two years, which means two years of that boy’s life, at his sexual peak, of just phone calls and hand-holding. And they are chaperoned whenever they are together so that means inappropriate rubbing is out of the question.)

I cannot get my mind around this. It is probably because I have had a penchant since college of making out with random people in bars. Making out is fun! And also? Some people are BAD kissers! Can you imagine being married to a bad kisser? A sloppy kisser or someone who wants to lick your tonsils? That is like a death sentence. And not someone I would want to have 17 kids with!

But whatever, to each their own. I am Judgey McJudgeypants and I’m not ashamed of it. I just don’t understand. And yet I can’t stop watching. And apparently I’m going to hell anyway, since just being a nice person doesn’t get you there.

The reason I share all this background with you is to show you one of the best things that I have ever seen on the internet. This site here is Josh and Anna’s wedding website. Take a look around. I imagine this site is what it will be like to work for a churchy organization.

When you’re done looking around, have a look-see at the bottom of the page. At these two crazy kids’ wedding registries, one at Wal-Mart and one at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Most of it is your normal registry stuff – towels, sheets, muffin pans, mixers, measuring spoons. But then there are things that I have never seen on a registry. Here is the list of my favorite Duggar wedding registry items:

• Coke and Sprite
• Pringles
• Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
• University of Arkansas gear – everything from mugs to bumper stickers to flip flops and a hamper
• M&Ms
• Gatorade

And my personal favorite? SIX KINDS OF BEEF JERKY!

But at least they registered for 2 Dyson vacuums and an iPod Touch. So all isn’t lost.

So this week I told myself “Self, this week it is all business. It is time to get to work and put your nose to the proverbial grindstone.” And surprisingly, Self listened. Self doesn’t usually listen. Like when I’m all “Self, you do NOT need to eat an entire pizza” or “Self, I think two bottles of wine is enough for this evening” or “Self, maybe you could work out so that all those clothes in your closet will fit.” Self NEVER listens then. Fucking Self is a bitch.

Monday was shot. I had some errands I HAD to run. I needed toilet paper. I needed deodorant. I needed toothpaste for the days I remembered to brush. But I figured I’d get my Target run out of the way at the beginning of the week and then spend the rest of the week attached to my laptop as a Job Applying Machine.

I forgot how fucking time-consuming that is. I spent six hours (SIX! HOURS!) on Tuesday just doing all the searches on all the different websites. My plan of action was to save all the jobs I found on Tuesday and then use Wednesday to apply for all those saved jobs.

So that’s just what I did today. It was spent applying for jobs. It wasn’t a ton, about 12 or so, but enough. Enough of them that I had to change cover letters for. So that I didn’t have a “INSERT COMPANY NAME HERE” mishap again.

Actually this time, my mishaps were much worse. Because I am lazy and distracted by Twitter and emails. On second thought, I can’t even blame being distracted. I just blame being lazy and trying to get it all done in a hurry so I could watch TV.

My first bonehead move was when I decided it was smart to have seven different Word documents open. All the documents started with “cover letter” and then were dash something. Like cover letter-dash-marketing. Well when I had tweaked the communications cover letter to perfection, I was ready to apply for my first job of the day. So I copied the text from perfected cover letter, pasted it into the window and hit apply. Done and done.

That was until I went to apply for the next job and realized that I copied and pasted a cover letter from July. For a TOTALLY DIFFERENT JOB. Let’s just assume I’m not going to be getting that job. That’s a lot harder to pass over than INSERT COMPANY NAME HERE.

That is bad enough. I mean, I’m only applying for a handful of jobs, my margin for error is quite low. But sadly, that wasn’t the worst or only mistake I made during the day.

I found a listing for a job online for a professional writer, writing about social media like blogging and Twitter and Facebook. When I read it I was like this can’t be for real! Someone wants to pay me to do the shit I already do in my spare time? Sign me up!

So I readied a new email message to send off to the HR Man. I attached my resume and a writing sample. As I was going to hit “attach” to give them another writing sample, I hit send. I SENT A BLANK EMAIL WITH ONLY MY RESUME ATTACHED. THAT WAS IT. Apparently when I say I have great attention to detail on my resume, I am LYING. Clearly.

Then I proceeded to freak the fuck out. I IMed Nic and was all “Fuuuuuuuck! HALP!” She laughed and then was like “dumbshit. Good look landing a job this century, you moron.” And then after I threatened physical violence because I’m like a foot taller than her, she told me just to send another email. And pretend the first one didn’t even exist. So that’s what I did. And I’m sure that HR Man is getting quite a laugh out of it. Too bad I could totally do that job, even if they specifically said no snarky writing. I can be non-snarky. I’m not always Full of Snark. But I am always full of something.

~~~~~~~~~~

In other news, who watches Pushing Daisies? Please tell me that one of you out there does and watched the premiere on Wednesday. Because what the fuck? I know it has been almost a year, but they totally just abandoned the cliffhanger from the end of the first season. Ned and Chuck weren’t even talking to each other. Ned didn’t even know where she was. Now, right off the bat, they are talking and everything is fine and back to normal? HOW? Are you just pretending the first season didn’t exist? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! Hopefully one of you out there can rant with me.