Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on June 4, 2012

Well, that was a long break from blogging that I took. It wasn’t really intentional. I mean, let’s be honest, my writing in the last year or so has been sparse at best. I just don’t feel like writing when I get home.

Normally I can blame it on working out and running taking up all of my evening hours, but I didn’t even do that last week. Last week I was just lazy and tired, recovering from my vacation to Portland and Seattle.

I’ve been meaning to recap my trip since I got home, since I had such an amazing time. I spent the first leg of the journey in Portland with her and got to meet the most adorable baby in the history of the world, Mr. Henry! He’s even more perfect in person than he is in photos on the internet. He is so my new BFF!

Rhi and I had a great time catching up and eating delicious food and enjoying all Portland has to offer. She and Bill took me to Hood River and to some of the breweries there and it was an absolutely perfect day. I also got to experience the Portland Farmer’s Market, which is super nice and has an awesome selection and free samples of meat and cheese. You had me at meat and cheese, PDX.

The reason for the trip was because my friend Rich was getting married in Seattle that Sunday. Long-time readers may remember Rich from such drinking shenanigans as this time in St. Louis and this time in St. Louis and so many other times I haven’t documented. I figured he’d be a life-long bachelor, so there was no way I was going to miss this wedding.

And I’m so glad I went! I have to admit it was a little weird going solo to a wedding and knowing no one but the groom. I hadn’t even met his lovely bride-to-be. But the day before the wedding a bunch of us went to the Mariners game and I knew I had nothing to worry about. Rich’s friends are all super fun people and I had a blast. Well, that I can remember…

After the game, a few of us went out drinking, including Rich. And I promised all of his friends that I’d make sure he got home. What I didn’t plan on was getting so drunk myself that I don’t even remember getting home myself. (I later found out that the bride was not pleased, nor would I have been if my groom was out drinking late the night before his wedding with some chick.) (It was all good! He made it home! No worries!)

This about sums up my brain capacity that evening.

Also, side note, we were here.

I woke up around like 7 AM on Sunday in my hotel room, full clothed and wondering how I got home and if I was still in possession of my things. (Clearly I must have been, seeing as I made it to my room and fell asleep.)

I was supposed to go running with the lovely Chris on Sunday morning, but I had to text her that no, I would not be able to make it because I was still drunk. I barely made it up for our brunch date, let alone running.

As I got up to get ready for brunch (i.e. changing my shirt and brushing my teeth), I noticed that I was bleeding and my big toe was killing me. SOMEHOW, the night before, I got the top part of my big toe sliced off. Someone apparently tried to scalp my toe and it hurt like a bitch.

Since I was up about 10 minutes before Chris showed up, I shoved a bunch of Kleenex over it, threw a sock and my shoe on and sucked it up. This girl needed food.

After our very awesome brunch (if you’ve never met Chris, who no longer has a blog, you’re missing out because she is the loveliest person in the entire world!), I went back to take a nap. This turned out to be a five-hour nap, which had me almost missing the ceremony because I was running so late.

But I made it! It didn’t start on time anyway! And while there, I tried to figure out what happened to my toe, but no one knew. I’m thinking if anyone knows, it’s the cab driver, the bartender or the dude I was with, who wasn’t at the wedding. The world may never know.

The wedding was insane! It was so much fun! I really had a lot of fun with all Rich & Shelby’s friends and I’m so glad I made the long trek out there to be there in person. We danced, we threw fake dollar bills, we went crazy in the photo booth. These are clearly my people and I had nothing to worry about being by myself.

And let’s face it, coming home to boa feathers stuck to your injured toe is really the true mark of a fantastic wedding, is it not?

Congrats Rich! I’m so happy for you and Shelby!

Categories: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, Gotta Have Friends, Hooch Hilarity, Travel
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