Slack Jawed Yokel

Posted By on February 8, 2012

It is no secret on this blog that the dentist and I, we have a history. A long, sordid history. I’m convinced I murdered a dentist in a previous life and I’m paying for it in this life. I’ve finally accepted this and am now never fazed by anything I hear my dentist tell me I need done.*

Back before I had my tooth pulled back in November, a molar on the other side of my mouth chipped. I didn’t even cry. I just looked at it, realized I was going to have another crown and made a note to quadruple the amount of money I put in my flexible spending account in 2012.

The giant gaping hole in my mouth is healing well. It takes up to six months before we can do the next steps, which is to take molds for the implant. In the meantime, I chew on only one side of my mouth and continue to go out in public every day with a gaping space in my mouth. I’m Cletus, the slack jawed yokel.

So let’s fast forward to last week at my regular check-up at the dentist. She tells me what I know, that I need a crown and all that. So I make the appointment for this evening. This is old hat for me. A shot of novacaine and some drilling? NOTHING! Not when you’ve previously had someone HAMMERING YOUR JAW BONE.

Then as I’m paying and getting ready to head home, they remind me that I shouldn’t eat anything on that side of my mouth until I get the permanent crown on. Which is in two weeks.


Back up. What? The side of my mouth I’ve been chewing on exclusively since November is now off limits? And the side of my mouth that I CAN chew on is missing one of the important molar teeth? So you’re saying I basically should consist on smoothies for two weeks? Well, OK. What a weight loss plan!

Also a good weight loss plan? Going to the dentist and getting half your face numb! Just try and eat or drink anything!

Sadly there is no video. Only because I was too busy cleaning up Kool-Aid and soup from my face and floor.

*I would like to point out that I currently LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my dentist. I have no complaints at all. The fact that I do not get freaked out and cry about having to have work done is a testament to how much I love her and trust her.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


5 Responses to “Slack Jawed Yokel”

  1. lceel says:

    You are a braver soul than I. Although I do like my dentist (and I LOVE my Dental Hygenist), I am not a fan of the process. My dentist is a very nice lady – and I’m SURE she doesn’t enjoy the pain she causes – and I would love to engage with her, socially. I just don’t like being in her chair.
    lceel´s last blog post ..The Sheriff, Photo365, Day 40

  2. I am terrified of the dentist. I had to go all the time as a kid and has multiple fillings a retainer and braces to end up with the lovely crocked teeth and overbite I had all along only my teeth have never gotten back to being quite white since the braces. Ugh. I know I need to go back as I haven’t been to the dentist…an ashamedly long long time.

    They are putting you through a lot! Though I have been looking at some amazingly good sounding smoothie recipes on Pinterest. Be sure to use a straw! 😉

  3. I was fortunate enough after many years and MANY horrible dintests to find my current one. I love him. LOVE.HIM. Have been with him now for about 15 years, and if he ever retires I don’t know what I will do. Fortunately, he’s still pretty young (40’s) so hopefully he will not be looking at retirement for a long, long time.
    Liz J in Central Illinois´s last blog post ..Lesson Learned…..

  4. Raven says:

    I have a temp crown right now and am trying to get back in for the permanent. My tooth broke right in half! UGH. I know I need at least one more tooth pulled (on the other side, of course) and many more fillings. OMG. SOOOO expensive. Why do they have to cost so much?
    Raven´s last blog post

  5. Angella says:

    Dentist visits make me cringe, even though I have a great dentist.

    If I had to have all that you’ve had done, I would curl up in the corner.
    Angella´s last blog post ..Hope For The Future