Ding Dong Lent Is Over

Posted By on April 4, 2010

My Lensolution is over! And I’m still posting! Will you look at that?

So my Lensolution didn’t go as well as planned. But I did blog more than 20 days. And Lent is like 40 days, so that’s not half bad. I think it was better than what I had been doing before Lent started, so I consider it a big WIN! And had I not gotten the Death Plague, I would have posted even more.

Did everyone have a nice Easter holiday? Or Sunday, for those of the non-Christians out there?

Mine was very nice. I went to church with my mom and Grandma and then we went to my aunt’s house for the day. It was a nice day. I got to hang out with my sister, yelling into her belly to make the baby learn to love me. “HELLO BABY!” I wanted her to move or kick for me because I’ve never felt a baby kick. Baby did not oblige. She may not like me so much now for yelling, but as soon as she makes an appearance, she will be thankful that she has me as an Auntie because I’m going to spoil her rotten!

I went to church. You did read that right up above. I go on Christmas and Easter because it makes my grandma happy. She’s a strict Catholic and goes to church every week. She feels better when I’m there because at least she gets to show me off to her friends and try to find me a husband. (She wanted me to talk to an attractive young man because he was tall. She didn’t really get that he was like maybe 21, so that is almost illegal.)

Church and me, is not really a good mix. I know I should sit there and really listen and feel the power of Jesus sweeping over me or whatever it is that people feel when they are in church. But I’m so cynical. And also a people watcher. So I kind of tune everything out and just watch the people for an hour. For instance today I witnessed:

  • A snotty church lady who takes her ushering duties very seriously. She was probably over 70 years old and wearing a short skirt and purple, suede, knee-high boots.
  • She asked us to move to the middle of the pews and we just looked at her and didn’t move.
  • A pony-tailed man who saw that his pew neighbors were Hispanic so he assumed he needed to speak to them in Spanish.
  • A family of three in front of me, a mom, a daughter and a son. The daughter was very unfortunate looking. She was really, really skinny. Like she had to be anorexic. But she had the worst the haircut I’ve ever seen. Like it was really unattractive. So if the goal was to distract people from your skinny body with awful hair, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
  • (I should burn in hell for making fun of people in church but Easter mass is LONG!)
  • When the priest was talking about the meaning of Easter, and how Jesus rose from the dead, the power went out for a second in the church. Not ONE person said anything! No one yelled out “HE IS RISEN!” or “HE IS WITH US!” or “PRAISE JESUS!” Not one person!
  • Well, I may have whispered it to my mom.
  • There was a guy wearing a hat in church. Apparently this is disrespectful. Because when he walked past us to get in line for Communion, both my mom and my grandma snickered and said “He’s wearing a HAT? IN CHURCH?” And then the woman in front of us turned around and looked at my mom and said “he has cancer.”
  • So I said “it’s OK mom. You’re already in church. You can get instant forgiveness!”

I might have to start going regularly just for the people watching and blog material. I don’t think Jesus cares, right? Just as long as I go?

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


13 Responses to “Ding Dong Lent Is Over”

  1. Angella says:

    If the power went out at our church, our pastor probably would have made a joke. 🙂

    You should go so that you can tweet from church and join all of the people who use the #inchurch hashtag. 🙂
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Scenes From A Weekend =-.

  2. Kristin says:

    You crack me up! Sorry your sister’s baby didn’t kick or move for you. If you want to feel a kick, let me know because the little guy over here is a constant mover. That can’t be a good sign. Madison was much calmer…

    Love the church observations…I find myself doing the same thing when I am there. This is also a problem I have whenever I’m out in public, which may result in me not listening to someone that is talking to me.
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..Tomorrow =-.

  3. Alice says:

    i did have a nice sunday! it involved chocolate and delicious meals. and no church. yay easter for heathens!
    .-= Alice´s last blog ..women’s writes: clinic escorting =-.

  4. I love that you people-watched the whole time in church…that’s basically all I do during my once a year appearance, too.

  5. Suziannie says:

    Actually wearing a hat in church IS disrespectful unless you’re female.

    I may be called heartless for this…but having Cancer doesn’t get you out of showing respect at the proper times.

  6. slynnro says:

    This is why I don’t go to church. TOO MANY RULES!

    That and ya know, not a Christian.

  7. Scarlet says:

    I can’t remember what I wanted to write this morning…boo!

    I’m gonna start going to the church in the rich part of town so the moms will set me up with their rich sons.
    .-= Scarlet´s last blog ..Learn To Hate =-.

  8. -R- says:

    At least you found a way to make church interesting for you, I guess. =)

    Yay for new nieces to spoil!
    .-= -R-´s last blog ..Light The Corners Of My Mind =-.

  9. I don’t do so well in church myself. Funny stuff though, maybe I should go for the laughs.
    .-= The Urban Cowboy´s last blog ..The Berserker =-.

  10. Fairy Godmother says:

    Thanks for saying you had a nice time here on Easter. Especially since you told me you wouldn’t write anything bad because you know I check. I think it was OK. No fights this time. At least none that I’m aware of. Love you!

  11. Mahnee says:

    The only thing you missed mentioning is the priest that had the mass is notorious for mentioning adultery & abortion in his sermons & he didn’t. He DID however, have some convoluted analogy to The Bridge Over the River Kwai in his sermon that was weird. Since he’s a “visiting” priest and only comes to that church to help out, I’m convinced he’s stalking me cuz he’s there whenever I am….and my pattern of church going (unfortunately) is random.

  12. Jacki says:

    I would like to go on record as pointing out that Lent is technically 46 days. I realized this on about day 21 because the withdraws from Diet Coke were not getting better and mathematically something seemed fishy to me (six weeks times seven days a week?). Turns out during Lent the Sundays you are just supposed to be better because it’s Sunday so those six Sunday’s don’t count. 46 DAYS WITHOUT DIET COKE.

    (Can you tell I’m seriously proud of all 46 days?)

    You did good with the posting, I missed you and I’m glad you are back!

  13. Jill says:

    I’m so glad that someone else people watches in church like I do. Yeah, since I, too, am only a C and E church going member I also miss my Pastor’s who message because I can’t.stop.staring….

    And? If the power would have went out in MY church -I’m not sure I would have been able to contain myself!!
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Red Box Renters? or Rude Box Renters…. you tell me…. =-.