That Might Explain The Sore Neck

Posted By on March 25, 2009

Today was a weird day. When I got into the office this morning, I turned on my computer, like I do every morning. I had to wait a bit longer to log on because Tuesday night when I left, Microsoft informed me it needed to install some updates before shutting down. So I said, “well alrighty, Microsoft. Have at it. I’m blowing this pop stand and going home for some well needed rest and relaxation.” (It sounds better if you say it in a Southern accent like I am doing in my head.)

So this morning when I turned on my computer, I noticed that my laptop and my monitor were totally in a fight. Because they would NOT work together. I couldn’t get the screen to display on the monitor, so I figured I was going to have to work from the laptop today and it’s teeny tiny screen, until the two of them got over their disagreement and we all could get along again.

I was clearly wrong. This was not a tiff. This was a fight. Or a FIGHT. Because when I finally got the monitor to display the contents of my laptop screen, and then ultimately closed the laptop lid, this is what I got.


What in tarnation? Also, yes, my cube is in like the one spot in the office that gets no light. It’s fun for the eyesight!

Do you know how hard it is to move the mouse to close a window or hit the start button when your screen is sideways? Especially first thing in the morning when you’re still very sleepy and haven’t yet had any caffeine? It is very hard.

This went on for about 30 minutes. I restarted several times. Changed settings. Control Alt Deleted that motherfucker until I wore the words off the keys.

Until I realized this was all because of the big FIGHT and that Laptop was feeling unloved by Monitor. And that Monitor didn’t make him feel important enough, having to sit on the desk closed off all day. Only to be taken advantage of through Monitor. And that the only solution, until those two crazy kids work things out, is to have the laptop open and the monitor on. Then everything is fine.

Because seriously? A lover’s spat is the only explanation for this. It is just fucking WEIRD.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


23 Responses to “That Might Explain The Sore Neck”

  1. TUWABVB says:

    I’m sorry – but the idea of your laptop and your monitor dueling it out is too funny. I can’t imagine seeing a screen like that.

    Perhaps they need to hear from Bacon?

    Computers, when they malfunction, just piss me off!

    TUWABVBs last blog post..The People Ride in a Hole in the Ground

  2. Deidre says:

    its like a soap opera. or the spin off from “Singing in the Rain”s fake movie “the duelling cavalier”…the duelling monitors. I declare it a hit

    Deidres last blog post..With my hit single "Back off my uterus, bitch"

  3. I love that you used the word “tarnation,” a term that is far too often neglected in the English vocabulary.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Make Like a Transparent Ball and Throw Yourself Down a Grassy Knoll

  4. -R- says:

    That sideways screen makes no sense!

    -R-s last blog post..Honey Do

  5. Mahnee says:

    You talk in a Southern accent in your head? Is there nothing you can’t do? Is that right? Double negatives…but it doesn’t look right the other way I wrote that sentence. OK…too early for grammar apparently…and computers…mine is acting up again today and I restarted it three times yesterday so that windows that were open would effing close.

    I love you. Sorry for babbling.

  6. YellowMutt says:

    Try hitting CTRL, ALT, and the Right arrow key at the same time. on your pc keyboard.

  7. YellowMutt says:

    I am sorry, that should be CTRL, ALT, and the UP arrow key. my bad.

  8. DUDE, my laptop did that a few weeks ago. Take YellowMutt’s second piece of advice. But what the heck…why would this even be an option? Who would need this “feature?”

  9. ali says:

    i once stepped on my laptop and then the screen was sideways.

    i panicked and cried until the husband came home and fixed it in 8 seconds.

    true story.

    alis last blog post..doesn’t sound all that smart to me. heh.

  10. Jen says:

    If that happened to me I’d be all like, technology hates me, whhyyyyyy. You, however, have turned it into an exciting chronicle of a lovers’ spat. Complete with Southern accents! This is why I think you are so awesome.

  11. Melissa says:

    Wow, I can only imagine how hard it is to work like that…have a few drinks and then maybe it will be easier! 🙂

    Melissas last blog post..Side Effects…How Can This Be?

  12. Just looking at that picture for a few seconds makes my eyes want to fall out of my head and on to the keyboard. Make them put some light in your cube-tell them I said so!

    sensibly sassys last blog post..Stories From The Heart

  13. Kristen, this is their attempt to get you to perform some neck exercises. Soon the monitor will display the other way round and then upside-down, trying to get you do head-tilts and headstands. Neck muscles are extremely important, and are often neglected in the gym. (Even more neglected when you’re not going to the gym.) So be grateful, they’re looking out for you.

    And don’t be surprised if your monitor turns off unexpectedly–Just try lifting it in the air while doing squats, because it knows leg muscles are important too.

  14. tutugirl1345 says:

    Well, on the bright side, you can extend your desktop on to both of them and get twice the monitor space!

    tutugirl1345s last blog post..Officially a Grown Up

  15. Darcey says:

    “rey-est and ree-lax-ay-she-un” is how I would phonetically spell that in a proper Southern accent. And I would know…

  16. witchypoo says:

    I am very tempted to try that trick, but will refrain unless I actually need the remedy that YellowMutt suggest4ed.

    witchypoos last blog post..Stealth Parenting

  17. Sara says:

    That happened to me once. I figured out how to fix it using wonderful google while reading sideways. (Because strangely if you turn your head sideways everything remains upright).

    Saras last blog post..Colorado homes have flammable water!

  18. gorillabuns says:

    my bitch-assed screen went out on my laptop. now i’m using a 1995 screen attached to my laptop. maybe it’s time to pony-up for a new computer.

    gorillabunss last blog shopping

  19. metalia says:

    I SWEAR TO GOD, the same thing happen to me a few years back; also my work computer. The CTRL/ALT/UP thing was the solution, but the real mystery was how the hell it happened in the first place. Seriously, WTF? Your lovers’ spat thing totally makes as much sense as anything else.

    metalias last blog post..This is Where the Wild Things Are

  20. metalia says:

    That would be “happenED.” I blame the beer. That I drank, um…two hours ago. What? Shut up.

    metalias last blog post..This is Where the Wild Things Are

  21. Angella says:

    Computer issues make me stabby. I probably would have thrown it out the window. Not that I throw things or anything.

    Angellas last blog post..1-800-Luv-Beer

  22. Scarlet says:

    I seriously feel dizzy.

  23. Ree says:

    You need to turn your laptop on its side. Maybe spooning with it will help?

    Rees last blog post..Haiku Friday – The Fourth Estate