How My Mind Works

Posted By on August 12, 2008

The Olympics are giving me ADD. I started writing two posts yesterday and had to give up because they were just CRAP! If it’s not Scottish, it’s CRAP!

I wanted to tell you about how I spent my weekend as a cat. How I got home Friday from work, earlier than normal, and took a two-hour nap. And how after getting my eyebrows waxed on Saturday morning, I came home and took a three-hour nap. And how I spent most of Sunday on the couch, alternating between reading my book and taking hour-long naps.

But then I was like well, yeah, people will believe that cats nap. But people won’t believe that cats would wax off their hair. ON PURPOSE.

And then I was going to tell you about the new business that moved into a strip mall on Montrose that I pass on my walk home from the bus. Apparently these people are mad about people passing by and looking in the window. So they put a note on the window that said “Dear people passing by, STOP STARING! WE ARE NOT A ZOO. AND WE HAVE GUNS.”

So I decided I would leave a note the next day that said “Dear asshats who decided to start a business in a strip mall that is MADE OF WINDOWS, they are called blinds. Or curtains. And guns are illegal in the city of Chicago. Don’t worry, I already alerted the police. You’re welcome. And we’re soooo glad you’re in the neighborhood.”

But then I saw they got blinds. And I was a little sad. Because I was proud of my note.

So then I was going to tell you about my growing obsession with the Olympics and hot, young swimmers. But then I didn’t think you needed to see that side of my crazy and how I kill time on nbcolympics.com looking at the bios of athletes. And reading up on my new boyfriend. Good thing I didn’t mention that.

And then I was going to ask if anyone else giggles that the swimming announcer’s name is Rowdy. And if anyone else thinks to themselves “R-O-W-D-I-E that’s the way we spell ROWDIE. ROWDIE. Let’s get ROWDIE. WOO!”

Just me then?

But I will tell you that crazy HR person from last week told me they would like to bring me in for an interview. And he said I should prepare for a FIVE-HOUR INTERVIEW. And he wasn’t kidding. And then I mistakenly asked if he was considering me for CEO because why would an Account Coordinator need to be interviewed for FIVE HOURS? And what can I tell them that I haven’t already told them? Because I’m wondering if there will be a lie detector and if I will finally give up in tears and yell out “I WAS FIRED FOR MY BLOG!” And then storm out of the room.

But then I figured no one really needed to hear any of this. Good thing I never mentioned any of it.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

28 Responses to “How My Mind Works”

  1. Heather B. says:

    Let me be the first to say that I am so damn happy you decided not to keep any of that to yourself.

    Heather B.s last blog post..One less than five

  2. Willow says:

    That swimmer is CUTE – so glad you decided to share, it’s just brightened up a rainy morning.

  3. Rhi says:

    I also got my eyebrows waxed on Saturday. IT’S LIKE WE WERE THERE TOGETHER!!

    Rhis last blog post..this post may or may not be full of lies

  4. Mahnee says:

    I had a really bad headache last night & all I wanted to do was go to bed as soon as I got home from work. Didn’t happen. I got totally sucked into beach volleyball at the Olympics and, of course, couldn’t go to bed until I saw who won. It was still early to go to bed, but rooting for beach volleyball doesn’t help a headache. Yeah. Beach volleyball.

  5. moo says:

    You’re sounding better lately. Having some hot swimmer therapy there, hmm?

    moos last blog post..Panic! (no discos involved)

  6. Melissa says:

    Ok, that there is some random stuff! Good luck with the interview…after 5 hours there had better be a job in this for you.

    Melissas last blog post..I Hope the Tooth Fairy Is Rich…..

  7. dabby says:

    5 hours??? You’re stronger than I am, I could never handle that!

  8. Ashmystir says:

    I’d love to see that note you left. ha. ha.

    Ashmystirs last blog post..Weather is beautiful… Wish you were here!

  9. Lori says:

    Who is your b-friend? That site is firewalled due to bandwidth issues. :( I love the swimming, too, though sometimes seeing Natalie brings up the not fun memories at Cal. Now football, that was fun!

  10. Mouncie123 says:

    Can’t view the boy either but watching them swim it could be one of many yummy boys ;) GO USA!

  11. Mahnee says:

    The yummy boy (and he IS yummy) is Aaron Peirsol who’s a swimmer for the US.

  12. Aaron Peirsol went to UT so if he comes to campus to flash his medals, I’ll let you know.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Because I’m An American, Not Because Boys with Hot Bodies Wear Tight Clothes!

  13. jen says:

    As someone who lives in a zoo exhibit (1st floor street facing apartment) I can attest to wanting to put a note in the window and/or threatening violence. My problem is that the windows are floor to freaking ceiling (96″), so unless I’m planning on harvesting my eggs to pay for custom blinds and reasonably priced curtains (and let’s face it, no one is going to want them!), I make do with my too short blinds & drapes.

    Then again I do have fun sitting in the dark and occasionally yelling at people. It’s the simple things.

  14. Kerri Anne says:

    They better have snacks for you at that interview. Or at least some better than lame questions to answer. But yeah. Snacks would be best.

  15. DM says:

    5 hours? Is the job really worth it? Must go read about the crazy interviewer now.

    And he is cute. Incredibly freakin’ young (He was 2 when I graduated from high school. 2!) but still cute.

  16. DM says:

    Oh, forgot to mention that yes, I now have that stupid cheer in my head.

    And you should have hung up on the crazy interviewer. That’s insane.

  17. Teri says:

    Oh, sorry Kristin, but Aaron Piersol is MY BOYFRIEND! Of course he’s from Irvine (my previous hometown) but never mind that he was born the year I graduated from high school – no one needs to know that.

  18. rye says:

    FIVE HOURS?? That is absolute madness!

    ryes last blog post..I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies

  19. Danielle-lee says:

    5 hours?? wtf? that’s so insane.
    mmmm….swimmers. they are all pretty hot, other than the random guy who looks like a girl. don’t even know his name, b/c I can’t stand to look at the tv screen for more than .66 seconds when he is on. ick.

  20. The strip mall crazies are totally CRAZY! Wow. That’s all I can say.

  21. Bethy says:

    Unbelievable that freako HR guy wants a 5 hour interview. Although my husband interviewed for TWO DAYS at a certain extremist non-profit group’s headquarters….

    About the boyfriend, sorry to break the bad news, but looks like he is DEFINITELY going to go bald FAST. But hey, if that’s not a deal-breaker (and you’re not as shallow as me, play on, player.

  22. metalia says:

    Ooh, that swimmer is cuuute! I’ve been so blinded by Michael Phelps’ upper body that I haven’t noticed any of the other dudes. :)

    metalias last blog post..This is PRECISELY Why I Didn’t Read Harry Potter

  23. regan says:

    You seem to be confused as Aaron Peirsol and I have been having hot sex for months now.

    regans last blog post..cringe, cat style

  24. Cara says:

    I love swimmers. They have the the yummiest bodies. Al the shiny muscles. Mmmmmmm…

    Caras last blog post..Primal Nature

  25. Angella says:

    I am now thinking that I need to wax my eyebrows…

    Angellas last blog post..I’m Not As Holey As I Was Last Week

  26. Evil Genius says:

    If only we could all live like cats, this would be a much nicer world. ::dreamy look off into space::

    Oh yeah, where was I? That note to the strip mall business was hysterical. Well, their note was pretty funny too, I have to say. Yeah, best of luck to THEM, what with all their customer skillz and all.

    Meh.

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..Of Asses and E-Coli

  27. Laurel says:

    I SO wish you had posted that note! Perhaps you should save it and post it on the window of another random (but, hopefully annoying) business in the nabe?

    Laurels last blog post..Recent Discoveries