Comments on: Dr. Phil Would Be So Proud

By: richard $tabone

richard $tabone — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 21:00:34 +0000

so you signed up for yet another thing and don’t do anything with it? sounds like another gym membership.

By: kristabella

kristabella — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 01:02:54 +0000

Hmmm….The Onion you say? Has personals? That sounds right up my damn alley. Because unlike Match, I know my humor would not be wasted.

I would like to point out, as I did to Marianne earlier, that I do not like Sean Salisbury. On top of that, his eyes are too close together, which is why he was a horseshit quarterback.

So the answer would be no. Not quoting them.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:36:22 +0000

You should have just asked the precision cut ice guy for his number.

By: Marianne

Marianne — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 17:52:44 +0000

Dude… did you just quote Salisbury and Rosenbloom?

By: Miss Jones

Miss Jones — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 15:58:53 +0000

Online dating is a lot of work! I’ve stopped doing it. But you can do it for free (and with a more literate crowd) on personals . theonion . com. Yup, Onion readers — I think they’d appreciate your wit. Same network as Nerve & Salon. You get points for uploading photos and it costs points to send e-mails, but somehow there’s a glitch so it never actually deducted points from me.

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 15:55:56 +0000

Now I feel kinda guilty for being a shorty, but snagging a tall guy…I nominate this as the best line: “Needless to say, I didn’t wink back. Because he was stacked.”

You kill me.

By: Swishy

Swishy — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 05:31:57 +0000

If it makes you feel any better, I am absolutely laughing my ass off. “A few extra pounds. Plus a 7-year old child” … ha ha ha.

OK, seriously, was there like some bad inbreeding or something somewhere? Because there are NO TALL GUYS!